Has anyone been WAY UNDER their minimum?

I'm sitting at work holding back tears because we just ran the numbers and we're WAY under - our min is 120 and we'll have about 80, 2 more w/vendors. So many of my friends who were 'definitely' coming can't be bothered now and my family can never be seemed to be bothered. (We're still waiting on about 7 people but chances are pretty much null they're coming)

That leaves a gaping hole... what do we do?? we've already done a b list, inviting a few distant friends and our co-workers (all of whom are coming - nice to know almost strangers care more than actual friends) but we're still way short. I was planning on inviting some LIW people but 40???? I don't know that many lol

I feel bad asking the venue for anything since they're already throwing in a few things for us. And I doubt they'd be willing to make up for that much of a $$$$ loss. My parents are so nicely paying for the reception, and so the only option I can see is to just pay them the difference between # attending and the minimum.

Am I the only loser who was in this situation? (Not that you guys are losers, I'm just so upset right now). How do you come back from such a HUGE loss???

Im sorry your stressed over this, but you are NOT ALONE. I might not be under my min....but i can tell you i know what it feels like to be hurt when 'family'cant even bother to answer a RSVP or just answer NO without even TRYING TO MAKE up a lie ..t....i know it hurts, but honestly your day will be perfect anyway, with 80 people or 800...focus on your husband, in the end its you and him against the world anyway...yes it *****, but there is worse and if this is your biggest problem, your doing pretty good.

we also had *a lot* more NOs than expected -- they were mainly OOTers but still close friends or DH's family. Those most important to you will be there

That is my biggest concern... second biggest is that I don't have anyone to do alterations.... otherwise we're doing OK It ***** when your family doesn't care!

09-er crashing...
you are not a loser...those who bailed on you are. heres my suggestion! If you are stuck paying anyway...invite your LIW friends! Why not? i know that we have all made friends on here and its a crappy situation but make the best of it! I would do it! i would say..no gifts..just come because the meal is paid for already so come dance the night away!

I would definitely ask the hall about extras --- maybe a viennesse hour if you dont have one, or add ons to the CH, or add'l meal choices or upgraded linens or anything.

doesnt hurt to ask

At first we were 30 under our min, but at the last minute more people responded yes, and some no's called the day before and said they were coming (I know people are ridiculous! ). Anyway, we were like 5 short at the end of the wedding.

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Posted by LoriBeth2728

That is my biggest concern... second biggest is that I don't have anyone to do alterations.... otherwise we're doing OK It ***** when your family doesn't care!

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I have a great seamstress in Wantagh if you want her name / number. I am sure there are plenty of girls here who live all over the island who can recommend someone else if Wantagh is too far for you. Don't worry about that one!!!!

Aww sorry you are going through this. You can invite guest with your guests or parents of your close friends etc. Or if all else fails you can invite friends that you have made in LIW. If the hall really wont let you get extra things thrown in (Maybe Vieneese hour or something) then dont let that money go to waste.
Hope it all works out.

You gotta get the hall to work with you to throw in some extra's to eat up the cost and then you probably have still to fill in the seats which then I would open it up on here for people to drop in since your forced to pay. Failurebydesign did that.

Personally I would pay the difference. See if your parents can invite some more friends also.

We were under by 21 people. We thought that our hall would throw in SOMETHING since we were under by so many. Plus DH's dad couldn't come last minute because he was undergoing cancer treatment and it was making him really sick. We explained everything to our hall and we still got nothing extra. I guess we should have just opened our mouths and just asked! We did get exactly what we paid for and the wedding was awesome. We only had 79 people and my friend later told me that she thought there were 200 people there!

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Posted by LoriBeth2728

I'm sitting at work holding back tears because we just ran the numbers and we're WAY under - our min is 120 and we'll have about 80, 2 more w/vendors. So many of my friends who were 'definitely' coming can't be bothered now and my family can never be seemed to be bothered. (We're still waiting on about 7 people but chances are pretty much null they're coming)

That leaves a gaping hole... what do we do?? we've already done a b list, inviting a few distant friends and our co-workers (all of whom are coming - nice to know almost strangers care more than actual friends) but we're still way short. I was planning on inviting some LIW people but 40???? I don't know that many lol

I feel bad asking the venue for anything since they're already throwing in a few things for us. And I doubt they'd be willing to make up for that much of a $$$$ loss. My parents are so nicely paying for the reception, and so the only option I can see is to just pay them the difference between # attending and the minimum.

Am I the only loser who was in this situation? (Not that you guys are losers, I'm just so upset right now). How do you come back from such a HUGE loss???

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We fortunately had a low min of 75, but was still under. so you can count me as one of the losers I felt the same way. THe smaller party is easier to talk with everyone. we invited 170 or so and get around 73 with 9 kids.

Seriously.... DO NOT FEEL LIKE A LOSER!! For starters I've heard %20 of the people you invite say no. The less people you invite the more likely you are to get no's.
%20 of the people you invite supposedly say no...
think of it this way...... %100 percent of the people who care about you and love you will be there!!!

We invited 110, had a minimum of 50 and had 38 plus a few crashers. I was really bummed about it, but it was ok. You will be so busy talking to people, having a few less won't bother you. Do take any extras the RH will throw in, and count your vendors.Mine really appreciated getting to have the real food!

Also if your family goes to a church, perhaps there are some co-parishoners who would like to be invited.

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Posted by LoriBeth2728

I'm sitting at work holding back tears because we just ran the numbers and we're WAY under - our min is 120 and we'll have about 80, 2 more w/vendors. So many of my friends who were 'definitely' coming can't be bothered now and my family can never be seemed to be bothered. (We're still waiting on about 7 people but chances are pretty much null they're coming)

That leaves a gaping hole... what do we do?? we've already done a b list, inviting a few distant friends and our co-workers (all of whom are coming - nice to know almost strangers care more than actual friends) but we're still way short. I was planning on inviting some LIW people but 40???? I don't know that many lol

I feel bad asking the venue for anything since they're already throwing in a few things for us. And I doubt they'd be willing to make up for that much of a $$$$ loss. My parents are so nicely paying for the reception, and so the only option I can see is to just pay them the difference between # attending and the minimum.

Am I the only loser who was in this situation? (Not that you guys are losers, I'm just so upset right now). How do you come back from such a HUGE loss???

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I have the same issue...i'm about 15 or 20 under my minimum...Already invited some people from work that I originally wanted to invite but couldn't b/c the number was out of control and thankfully they are coming, however, FH's family, that's right that live within a mile of the RH aren't coming and they account for about 20 people and a few good friends that were definites, for whatever reason aren't coming. I was really upset in the beginning, but now I'm over it. I know that everyone at my wedding truly wants to celebrate with us and I'm still going to have a GREAT day and so are you!

we JUST made our min - like the EXACT number! Actually, our min was 165 ... we have 165 adults and 2 children ... phew