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Has anyone else had to deal with...

summerbride20 Posted:

Has anyone else had to deal with...

Getting married during the same year as their brother or sister?

My brother got married 6 months before me and he didn't invite family to the wedding, so instead they are having this potluck 'hey we got married without all of you' party 3 months before my wedding.

I didn't originally care, but now that the party is closer it has been a bit of a competition between us. We had a fully catered engagement party with a full bar for 4 hours and fully catered food and everything. A lot of my family did not come to the party for various reasons. He is having a potluck party and a lot of my family is coming. I send thank you's and how are you doing e-mails and he sends nothing. Now he is telling me he has been getting all of these gifts from family members that I did not receive. A lot of people did not give me anything (nada) and they gave him A LOT! His wife told FH during our engagement party how much better their wedding party is going to be than our engagement party. Who tells FH that on his special day? She thinks a potluck crappy party where you have to drink wine out of plastic cups and take off your shoes to be allowed into the place is better than a fully catered party?

I want to let things go... but it's hard seeing all the gifts he is getting and all the people he is getting to attend this random party... when it's not equal support. I hate feeling like the odd one out.

Anyone have anything similar to this going on?

Please don't quote I might take down
angelscri Posted:

Re: Has anyone else had to deal with...

I know it is a horrible feeling. 2 of my cousins got married within 3 months of each other. They are twins and the one who got married in May made over 15k at his wedding, meanwhile his twin brother who got married in August barely made 4k. I think that people tend to give more to the family member who got engaged or married first, and when the second wedding comes around shortly after they don't want to give anymore cause they feel they only recently gave money. Hope everything works out.

StaceyWill Posted:

Re: Has anyone else had to deal with...

My brother got married 6 months ago and some people who were at his wedding replied no to mine. It bothered me a little at first, but then I got over it. I know it's hard, but try not to let it bother you.
elp6421 Posted:

Re: Has anyone else had to deal with...

I am not in this exact situation but my sister did get engaged a few months after me and still to this day it irritates me a bit.

What do you parents say about this?
Fruitloop Posted:

Re: Has anyone else had to deal with...

Aww I'm sorry. I know it's hard but try not to let it bother you too much. The people that matter the most will be at your wedding- and I'm sure your wedding will be great!

My cousin just got married last September (mine is this August) and my problem is that he had an AMAZING weekend getaway right on the lake in Northern Michigan. Every little detail was planned so perfectly- his wedding was even in a bridal magazine! Theres no possible way we can top it, and it's still fresh in everyones minds. But FH and I are just focusing on things that we like and having a wedding thats perfect for US (which is what you should do).
summerbride20 Posted:

Re: Has anyone else had to deal with...


Posted by elp6421

I am not in this exact situation but my sister did get engaged a few months after me and still to this day it irritates me a bit.

What do you parents say about this?




My parents don't want to get involved but... they are conflicting. they don't like his path... they were against the destination wedding and against the potluck dinner... but at the same time they say I shouldn't compare (Which is TRUE) however, they don't seem to understand I feel that if people are actually invited to the real celebration and not the second-rate celebration and they have people spending double money of them for nothing (hey bring the food and the gift) and I try to think about my guests and experiences they will have (what do they want as a favor, what kind of music will they like, will there be enough food and drink, what is easiest for others) i feel like, why am i getting less money and less people show up then he does for something that I feel is almost insulting. its hard not to take it personally or be like hey I paid 150 dollars to have u here and he paid about 20. why does he get a 300 dollar gift and other stuff... and i get NOTHING literally. Serious story, our cheapest relative gave me some junk from her attic, like used from the 70's (for real) and he got a 100 dollar check.
MikesBride2B Posted:

Re: Has anyone else had to deal with...

Are you getting married on a Tuesday? The only reason I ask is that might be why many people are not coming to your wedding.

Mommy2BeBride Posted:

Re: Has anyone else had to deal with...

One of the reasons I am getting married in 2012 is because FH's sister got engaged a few months before us and planned her wedding for summer 2011.. I wanted to give her the chance to have her shine so we decided on a seperate year all together.

Your brother should be respecting your wedding and also your soon to be sister in law shouldn't open her mouth the way she did to your FH. your brother should know about what she said as well.

hope it all works out!
TheFutureMrs2011 Posted:

Re: Has anyone else had to deal with...

TheFutureMrs2011 Posted:

Re: Has anyone else had to deal with...

Mommy2BeBride Posted:

Re: Has anyone else had to deal with...


Posted by Melfrank


Posted by 2BecomeOne

One of the reasons I am getting married in 2012 is because FH's sister got engaged a few months before us and planned her wedding for summer 2011.. I wanted to give her the chance to have her shine so we decided on a seperate year all together.

Your brother should be respecting your wedding and also your soon to be sister in law shouldn't open her mouth the way she did to your FH. your brother should know about what she said as well.

hope it all works out!



Wow, that's so awesome of you!! Wish everyone was as respectful.. Hope they appreciate you doing that for them!




At first she was but now she is pretty much a b*tch and tries to copy everything I am planning for my wedding [meanwhile she is 30 and should grow up]

so I will see her whole wedding and i'll have a year to make mine that much better hehe

payback's a b*tch!
AudioLoveStory Posted:

Re: Has anyone else had to deal with...

We are getting married about 6 months before FSIL. We were supposed to get married this July but due to financial reasons we had to postpone. They picked the end of October next year so instead of keeping our date a year out, we decided to have it in early May so that there would be more time in between. They were very respectful of our situation and waited until we officially booked before booking their place.

We are all doing everything possible to keep these weddings as different as possible. (ie: We knew they wanted to do a Venetian Hour so we made sure not to book one.)

It's been working out pretty well so far!

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