I need everyone's advice. Has anyone ever been a bridesmaid and not ask that person to be a bridesmaid in your own wedding? At 30, I'm one of the last of my friends from HS who is getting married and I honestly do not want a large wedding party. With my very traditional mother 'encouraging' me to have a distant cousin in my bridal party, I'm already up to 5 bridesmaids and a matron & maid of honor!!! That's alot more than I ever envisioned...
With that being said, I feel bad that I am not asking my two cousins to be a part of my bridal party but at the same time can't fathom a 10 person bridal party! Thoughts? Advice?
JayLi2007
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Re: Has anyone ever been and bridesmaid and....
I have, but it was not family. Family I think you have to more so than friends. My attitude is, why should I put someone in years later that I was close to when they got married that I am no longer close to? But that was a friend - not a cousin.
emcheung
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Re: Has anyone ever been and bridesmaid and....
i was a bridesmaid for my brother and his wife's wedding. didn't want to ask my sister-in-law to be in my wedding and she got kinda offended. c'est la vie. you can't please everyone. if you're close with your cousins, you should ask them to participate in other areas of your wedding like handing out programs or petal cones; or do readings during the ceremony. i'm sure they would appreciate that.
ILOVEBRIAN2008
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i think u should do what you want! its ur day! and u dont want to regret having people in ur bridal party that u dont particularly want there
dream426
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Re: Has anyone ever been and bridesmaid and....
Posted by ILOVEBRIAN2008
i think u should do what you want! its ur day! and u dont want to regret having people in ur bridal party that u dont particularly want there
I agree. I mean people I used to be close with in the past, back then they would have been a BM for me but since I hardly talk to them now and see them once every 3 months I am not asking them now. Things change. You do what you want not what other people want. It is your wedding and your day. You need to be happy.
NapaValleyGirl
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Thanks for the quick responses! They are both cousins via marriage, not actual cousins but with my family being as 'tight knit' as we are, I know it could potentially be sticky. I may have to figure out how to incorporate them. sigh.....
Luvbsb4eva
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FH was actually in this problem, he was supposed to be a GM in one of his friends weddings next July... a few weeks before ours! But he really didn't want to have him in his, there were other people he felt closer to and we were already going crazy... we have a 21 person bridal party! So he decided not to ask him to be a GM... but now his friend just broke up with his fiance so that wedding isn't even happening.
I don't think that an invitation to be in one's BP requires the invite to go the other way... i think it's whoever is closest to you and whoever you feel should be standing with you on your day.
katleigh3
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I'm in my girlfriends wedding this June (YAY in 26 days) ...and I'm not asking her to be in mine...(Yay 321 days) LOL I hope thats okay. I too already have 14 people in the BP and already one extra girl. I'm not sure what to do either...
NapaValleyGirl
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Yes! That happened to my FH except the guy asked him to be his BEST MAN! My FH wasn't even considering having this guy in his BP. They are good friends, but not best friends. Needless to say, we're on our way to Boston this week for the wedding on Friday. (which, btw is at a night club and I have no idea what to wear to the event...)
ant n tilde
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i was a bridesmaid for my brother, sister, cousin, sister's friend, and FBIL
my FBIL is our BM, but his wife is not in the wedding my cousin is my MOH
and other than that - no one else is in my BP! no one minds
femmes
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its your day, dont feel bad, invite who you want in the bp! they will get over it
bemyyoko
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i was in my brothers weddings. i am not asking them, or their wives/ex wife to be in my bridal party.
DLM107
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I have been in 12 weddings and I am not having everybody in my BP. With my family I already have 9 girls, 2 jr.bm, and a Fg
NapaValleyGirl
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I've been in at least a dozen weddings also! it's so hard. But i really feel strong about my decision and I hope that they understand and allow me to enjoy the planning process without additional stress!! I may have them do a reading. Thanks to everyone for all the input!!!
cmrcmr0430
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Re: Has anyone ever been and bridesmaid and....
Posted by NapaValleyGirl
I need everyone's advice. Has anyone ever been a bridesmaid and not ask that person to be a bridesmaid in your own wedding? At 30, I'm one of the last of my friends from HS who is getting married and I honestly do not want a large wedding party. With my very traditional mother 'encouraging' me to have a distant cousin in my bridal party, I'm already up to 5 bridesmaids and a matron & maid of honor!!! That's alot more than I ever envisioned...
With that being said, I feel bad that I am not asking my two cousins to be a part of my bridal party but at the same time can't fathom a 10 person bridal party! Thoughts? Advice?
Oh yeah...I never asked a girl that I was in her BP, to be in mine. You don't have to return the favor. I'm sure that your friend isn't like mine though. This girl turned psycho on me!!
Snowflake08
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Re: Has anyone ever been and bridesmaid and....
i am sort of going through the same thing i was in my best friend's wedding almost 2 years ago FH and I only wanted family in our BP so just my sister as the matron of honor and one of his brothers as BM
she (my friend) got a little upset, but you cant argue when its just family and only one on each side
she moved upstate after she got married and ive only seen her like 4 times in almost 2 years i know she was a little disappointed
