where the best man or other member of BP or family member did not do a toast?????
We aren't doing one b/c our best man has a fear of public speaking and when suggested that someone say it for him his wife kinda freaked out. Then FH decided at our final meeting to skip it completely which I am totally cool with.
However, mom isn't cool with it and is acting like a 3 year old b/c she isn't getting her way with the whole speech thing.
I am just a little upset over my mom acting like a baby - its FH and I's wedding, this is what we want. A stupid speech isn't worth getting everyone upset over and causing a big to do. I'd rather keep everyone happy and have my DJ play another song in place to keep the party going.
Thanks for letting me vent girls
NovemberSue
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Re: Has anyone ever been to a wedding........
I haven't but its your wedding. You do what you want. You don't have to follow everything that everyone else does because of tradition. We didn't do the garter thing.
dawnie
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Do what you want! It's your wedding!!
anna
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Hey Lori-
John is also not a fan of public speaking, so I can see how someone would totally chicken out. but he did surprise me..
Is your DH's best man on the fence about it, or totally not doing it ? maybe on this special day he'll all of a sudden get some strong nerve to do it?? JOhn best friend and FI just asked us to do a reading at their wedding, and I didnt answer for John KNOWING he'd freak out and say no way... much to my surprise, he is doing it.. so if HE is doing it anyone can.
I say dont put pressure on the BM, but maybe on that day, he'll grab the mic and be so overwhelmed with happiness that he will say something... maybe your hubby can say something to him instead?? (speech?) I think that would be kinda nice too..
Is your MOH doing a speech? My sis and I were MOH at my brothers wedding and we both did a LONNNGGG speech...oh and my father doesnt miss a chance to do a speech. so my family weddings we have several speeches..
But even if there is no speech, I still think it will be special... dont make your family make you feel guilty... its up to you and hubby, its your big day!
jvs77
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Re: Has anyone ever been to a wedding........
Hmmm. I'm not a huge fan of public speaking either, so I can imagine what he's feeling.
The point of the speech is for him to express his feelings and best wishes for the bride and groom. Maybe instead of having the speeches said out loud, you could put together a little speech booklet to give to your guests where he (and anyone who wanted to give a speech) could write their feelings. It would even be a nice little keepsake for your guests.
michelem
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Re: Has anyone ever been to a wedding........
My sister is my MOH and my fiance says she has to make a speech but I know she could never get up in front of over 100 people and speak so I am not going to expect her too. I'm sure the best man will do it anyway and there is no need for two speeches. I want people to have fun not be uncomfortable. I don't know who made that up anyway. It used to only be the best man. Now people have the MOH do it. It's all about what you want though. The day after my wedding my family is supposed to get together with his family at his Aunt's house. My mother doesn't want to go because she says she can't spend two days in a row with my father. No matter what you do there is always going to be a problem with family. I'm very upset about it but why argue. It's not worth it.
TwoBugs
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Re: Has anyone ever been to a wedding........
I'm sorry you're mom is upset about this, and in turn, getting YOU upset about this.
I was recently at a wedding where no one gave a speech. To be honest, I thought it was really strange, but only because I usually love the speeches (emotional drunk people are a RIOT!). No one else at my table even noticed that there weren't any speeches until I mentioned it.
So it's not a big deal. Plus, the BM will be better able to enjoy the day if he knows he isn't expected to make a speech.
violet
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Re: Has anyone ever been to a wedding........
I was MOH at my sister's wedding years ago, and I didn't do a speech. Public speaking is my worst fear.
hampsteadha
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Re: Has anyone ever been to a wedding........
Hmm... I personally prefer no speeches to too many speeches. If the Best Man is uncomfortable speaking, that is perfectly understandable, but since your Mom really wants a speech, I still think you should ask a sibling, cousin, uncle or another close friend to make a speech. I would put your Mom's wishes ahead of the best man's wife's wishes. Your Mom is more central to the event than the best man's wife. I understand if she doesn't want her husband to feel bad or not look like the best man but the day of the event I don't think it will really matter.
MindyL28
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I don't think that there is any protocol for toasts at weddings! You can do whatever you want and I think that if he is afraid of public speaking, he should do a toast because it will be forced and he won't be happy.
julybride444
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Re: Has anyone ever been to a wedding........
It's your wedding! We had both the best man and the moh did a toast and people thought that was weird b/f we did it too (then they loved it). You could always have someone else do a toast, but you don't have to. No one (other than your mom) will even notice it.
violet
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Hey, don't worry about what people think if no one does a toast. Nothing always has to be traditional. I'm going to have 6 bridesmaids and 8 grooms, so now it's going to be uneven going down the aisle. I don't see that too often, but what can you do? If people keep saying 'oh thats weird, no speech', and it's so important to them, then they have problems.
larryswife2be
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Re: Has anyone ever been to a wedding........
Our BM (which is FH's brother) has trouble speaking in front of people too. I am strongly considered asking someone else, there are plenty of other GM's who are chatterboxes and would love to speak. Remember it's your day
jcndd
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Re: Has anyone ever been to a wedding........
Why doesn't your mom make the toast if it's that important to her?
our bestman has no fear of public speaking...but his toast was hsort and sweet...
can you convince your BM to do that?
neesiepie
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Re: Has anyone ever been to a wedding........
he can pre-write a speech and read from the piece of paper it's written on...or...have your MOM make a speech, if it's so important to her. Honestly, he doesn't have to make a speech at all :0)
