I have already asked two bridesmaids and I have to ask my third soon, but I am wondering if she will say yes. It is not that we don't have a great relationship. We were college roommates for three years and I consider her my most compassionate and sympathetic friend (one is a laugh-until-cry friend, one is a tell-it-like-it is friend etc)
I guess I know she has a busy life. She is a teacher and she is taking night classes to get her administrator's certification and she is married.
The other two were sure things. We had been friends since childhood and we always knew that we would be in each other's bridal parties. The bridesmaid remaining is someone who I just realized I wanted to ask since just after I got engaged.
What would I do if she said no? I would be heartbroken. Anybody have any experiences in which someone declined (and it wasn't for a bad reason)?
franksbride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Has anyone ever declined to be your bridesmaid?
One of my best friends of 20 years declined to be a bridesmaid...she is currently pregnant with triplets and is due to give birth to them around a month before my wedding.
We both feel really bad about this...but the health of these babies is more important than wearing a red dress.
Hopefully, she and her husband will be able to make it to the wedding and her triplets will be healthy.
MrsTC
Posted:
Member since
Re: Has anyone ever declined to be your bridesmaid?
My FSIL said no when I asked her. But I think it had more to do with her size (she is a big woman and very self conscious) and so I asked her to do a reading for us , and she is.
If she says no you have to ask her why. Thats how I feel these days, no more beating around the bush!! Why do u think she will say no?
xjulietx
Posted:
Member since
Re: Has anyone ever declined to be your bridesmaid?
She will most likely say yes, but I guess this is just the one person who will be surprised when I ask her and so I feel somewhat like a guy proposing to an unsuspecting girlfriend (if you can draw the parallel) I feel like my other two bridesmaids knew they would be bridesmaids since we were in high school together. This last friend doesn't know and while that may sound sweet to surprise her and ask her to do such an honor, I am also afraid.
Sunny
Posted:
Member since
Re: Has anyone ever declined to be your bridesmaid?
I had one say no because she has an anxiety disorder. I totally understood.
AUG21-04
Posted:
Member since
Re: Has anyone ever declined to be your bridesmaid?
My daughters godmother said no, she felt that she was too old to be a part of the weddign party. I haven't asked her to do anything esle as far as reading, because I am a little annoyed at her , she doesn't even look her age I think she should have said yes she had NO excuse.
aliasPook
Posted:
Member since
Re: Has anyone ever declined to be your bridesmaid?
I had a bridesmaid say yes and then two weeks ago tell me that she just couldn't afford it. The dress was $120 plus alterations, $200 for the shower, however much for the bachelorette party, plus our gift and the two nights in the hotel when she came down with her boyfriend. She makes less that $25000 a year up in Kingston, she just found out that her boyfriend has Lyme's Disease and her boyfriend's father passed away in July.
I wrote her a letter and said that if it was too much on her, I would understand. She and I have been friends for 14 years and I told her that as much as I would love for her to be inmy wedding, I care about her too much to see her struggling over expenses for my wedding.
Nora101004
Posted:
Member since
Re: Has anyone ever declined to be your bridesmaid?
If she says no, maybe you can offer her a reading.
Boop2704
Posted:
Member since
Re: Has anyone ever declined to be your bridesmaid?
FH and I asked one of his good friends to be a bridesmaid and she declined. She declined because FH was not in her wedding. But they never really asked him to be. They jokingly said one night, with me there, that FH should be in their wedding and he will walk down the isle with his ex, who they were friends with. DUH!! Did that sound like someone seriously asking someone to be in their wedding????
ThongLori
Posted:
Member since
Re: Has anyone ever declined to be your bridesmaid?
I have declined to be a bridesmaid myself. Friend from college... my job was really unstable at the time and I had a lot of other expenses going on. Luckily she was very understanding.
If your friend does not want to do it, ask if she wants to help with something else so she is still involved. Like someone else mentioned- a reading.
Re: Has anyone ever declined to be your bridesmaid?
DH's cousin had to decline, but she was due the week after our wedding (became pg after she was asked to be BM - by 'accident') and living in London and she wanted the baby born in Europe so it would have both citizenships...it was totally understandable
nj42305
Posted:
Member since
Re: Has anyone ever declined to be your bridesmaid?
My SIL has declined to be a bridesmaid because she does not get along with my other SIL
KFA5477
Posted:
Member since
Re: Has anyone ever declined to be your bridesmaid?
i said no to being a bridesmaid to my fh cousin fh and i were not engaged yet i didn't think it was right just to be in a wedding because my boyfriend was her cousin i was not even friends with her
xjulietx
Posted:
Member since
Re: Has anyone ever declined to be your bridesmaid?
I personally said no to being a bridesmaid in a wedding when my job was unstable and the wedding was out of state. And I was also asked not to be in bridal party of a crazy girl who kicked me out and asked me back in twice!!!
I guess I am just nervous because I knew the other two would say yes and this one will probably say yes, but I'm just being a nervous-nilly
pschica
Posted:
Member since
Re: Has anyone ever declined to be your bridesmaid?
good luck when you/if oyu ask her hon!!
julybride444
Posted:
Member since
Re: Has anyone ever declined to be your bridesmaid?
My closest college friend, who is now a law student and working, had to put some limits when saying yes-and I totally expected and respected this. She put a price limit on what she could spend total, and basically said she couldn't attend anything that wasn't in the summer:)
I wasn't sure if she'd even be able to do it, so when she was I was very happy to have her, even if it meant some limitations. I bought her dress for her gift, which I did for the other girls as well, and told her not to worry about a gift (she can get me back when she's a rich lawyer he he). We had a low key bach. party b/c all of my bridal party is comprised of students and my family paid for my shower.
Also-I had to say no to a friend of mine who invited me to be in her bridal party several years ago. I was paying my own way through college at the time, and money was very tight. I knew I couldn't afford the dress and the shower, and all of the things that go with it. So, I did go, and I even helped her bridal party plan the bach. party, but I wasn't in the wedding.
She understood, and it didn't affect our relationship at all.
