Has anyone wanted to start trying but DH was against it??

We didnt try for our first one.. he kind of just suprised us, But hes already 2 and I would like to start trying soon. DH is against it saying how hard it will be financially with a baby and a toddler, and how he dosent think it is fair to our son. I just dont want my kids to be 5 and 10 years apart like me and my siblings!!
Sorry for the vent but I have no one else to talk to about this stuff!

I know it is hard - my son is 7 now and here I am starting all over - I always wanted my kids to be close in age - but - even if it was possible at the time to go ahead and have another I couldn't do it financially either.
Now I have a double whammy anyway, so I'm just hoping everything works out!
I don't know your financial situation but I know when my son was in daycare it was like making another mortgage payment every month!

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Posted by shamrock12472

I think a lot of us stress too much about our financial wellbeing when thinking of kids. If you really waited till you were financial ready, would you ever be? I think you just have to be ready to make sacrifices. I look at my sister and her husband who now have 4 children, the littlest was born this past Dec. Her husband, by no means, makes a lot of money but they are making it.

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I have to agree with this. Somebody once said to me: 'No matter what, you're NEVER financially ready for a baby.' It's always going to be hard, no matter what. You just have to manage. I know that if DH and I have another baby after this one, I want to have it relatively soon. Me and my siblings are far apart in age and though we love eachother, we're not very close. I'm envious of the relationship DH has with his siblings. There's only a few years difference between him and his brother and sister and they all get along so well.

Me and my siblings are far apart in age and though we love eachother, we're not very close. I'm envious of the relationship DH has with his siblings. There's only a few years difference between him and his brother and sister and they all get along so well.

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My sister and I are only 13 months apart and it is great to have a sibling so close in age. We got to grow up together and experience things at about the same time. There is nothing like having a sister that you are close to.

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Posted by Butterflybride

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Posted by shamrock12472

I think a lot of us stress too much about our financial wellbeing when thinking of kids. If you really waited till you were financial ready, would you ever be? I think you just have to be ready to make sacrifices. I look at my sister and her husband who now have 4 children, the littlest was born this past Dec. Her husband, by no means, makes a lot of money but they are making it.

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I have to agree with this. Somebody once said to me: 'No matter what, you're NEVER financially ready for a baby.' It's always going to be hard, no matter what. You just have to manage. I know that if DH and I have another baby after this one, I want to have it relatively soon. Me and my siblings are far apart in age and though we love eachother, we're not very close. I'm envious of the relationship DH has with his siblings. There's only a few years difference between him and his brother and sister and they all get along so well.

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I disagree. I think it is very important to have your finances in shape before having a family, if given the choice.

Daycare alone is a significant expense and I can't see having a child and then wondering where the $ will come from.

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Posted by cluelessbride

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Posted by Butterflybride

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Posted by shamrock12472

I think a lot of us stress too much about our financial wellbeing when thinking of kids. If you really waited till you were financial ready, would you ever be? I think you just have to be ready to make sacrifices. I look at my sister and her husband who now have 4 children, the littlest was born this past Dec. Her husband, by no means, makes a lot of money but they are making it.

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I have to agree with this. Somebody once said to me: 'No matter what, you're NEVER financially ready for a baby.' It's always going to be hard, no matter what. You just have to manage. I know that if DH and I have another baby after this one, I want to have it relatively soon. Me and my siblings are far apart in age and though we love eachother, we're not very close. I'm envious of the relationship DH has with his siblings. There's only a few years difference between him and his brother and sister and they all get along so well.

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I disagree. I think it is very important to have your finances in shape before having a family, if given the choice.

Daycare alone is a significant expense and I can't see having a child and then wondering where the $ will come from.

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Well daycare isnt really a problem - I am a stay at home mom and my husband makes a decent living. It just we are saving up to move into a big house and I think thats what worries him the most.

I'm 6 years older than my sister and we are really really close. There was a time when I was around 16-ish that we weren't only because she was 10 and playing with Barbies, and I wanted to kiss boys LOL

Aww... Maxine!

I can't say that I know how it feels from your side but I do think I understand the part about being more financially stable. Financial struggle can put a real strain on a marriage... and that would be my main concern... it actually IS, at the moment. Yes, you may never be in the 'perfect' financial situation for the 2nd baby but maybe in a couple of years you would be in a much better financial position and it would make things easier on you, the babies, and the marriage. That might be worth the wait in itself.

Also, me and my little brother are 6 yrs apart and we are very close so it's not the case that all siblings with larger age gaps are not as close.

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Posted by JimmysBride
Also, me and my little brother are 6 yrs apart and we are very close so it's not the case that all siblings with larger age gaps are not as close.

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I think I may have been misunderstood. I never meant that siblings with larger age gaps couldn't be close. I just meant that it is easier when siblings are going through similar stages at the same time. That's why DH and his siblings are so close, because they went through everything together. I know though that people with huge age gaps can be just as close, if not closer. Perhaps I should've clarified a bit.

I want more children but dh doesnt want anymore
we have to beautiful girls 3 and 8
but I want to have another and he doesnt and I am not sure what to do about that

I am soooooooooo glad to see I am not alone!!!

I really didn't think anyone else was going through this. Aunt Flo came into town today and DH was practically jumping up and down. It made me SO mad!!!
Not that I wasn't PG but that he was SO happy I wasnt.

Just to clear things up I have a brother who is 5 years younger then me. We were always very close but my sister is 10 years older then me and we were never close until now.. thats b/c we are both married and have a child the same age as eachother.
He says maybe we will start trying this fall but I dont believe him. What is finanically going to change between now and the fall?!?!?!


Thank you Jimmysbride you had alot of good points!! I guess I just have the baby itch!

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Posted by shamrock12472

You know, I was thinking this morning and maybe I'm wrong but how much expense is really involved with having another child? In the first few years, you have the expense of diapers, formula, dr's co pay, and clothes but if you already have had a baby, don't you have a lot of the stuff you will already need? You don't need more furniture or baby stuff like car seats. Maybe if you broke it down for your husband and showed him that the expenses are not as great, he may look at it differently.

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There are still expenses with a second child. We have bought 2 car seats already as our children are 5 years apart and they either were too old or worn out. We have each sex so we couldn't use the same clothes, even though, being 5 years apart, the styles might not still be in and who knows if they would have been the same sizes at the same times of the year. Toys, yes, we have handed down. That is less of an expense and we can spend more on clothes.
I personally am a planner so I HAVE to know if we have enough money for everything. We couldn't afford 2 kids in daycare so we waited until we felt that it was the 'right time' financially. It was TOTALLY worth the wait.
Good Luck!