Has this happened to anyone?

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Posted by DaniandKen2010

Yes, yes and yes but unfortunately the no backsie rule applies.

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ita. same situation

you can give them an opportunity out. ive asked girls who i WANT to be in but i know money was an issue...so ive given them a few opportunitites to step out (especially now with the time havingg to order dresses). but so far they are all onboard (which is good for me)

but maybe if you give them enough rope they will take it....

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Posted by Iluvpoodles

Has anyone regretted asking someone to be in their BP, like felt obligated too or pressured by people and then realized you made a mistake after an incidient or watever? I really need advice on this one but can't go into details since this is public. Is there really anyway to ask someone to step down especially if the person is giving you the vibe that they really don't want to be in the BP to begin with.

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Yes yes yes. A hundred times yes. Unfortunately all you can do is give them an out. I wouldn't ever ask someone to step down, especially if it's family.

Yes I have.... but No, I wouldn't ask them to back down....

My MOH's sister once asked me to be in her wedding when she very first got engaged. I thought it was wierd she was asking me but I said yes (how can you say no). She was so excited about being engaged and I think she asked me out of excitement. Anyway, she later had to tell me that she was sorry, but she had too many people in the BP and couldn't have me in it. It was fine, because we were not nealrly close enough that i should have ever been asked to be in it in the first place, but I still thought it was so tacky of her to do that. So, based on my experience, I would never ask someone to step down after i've already asked them.... JMO... hope this helps

I'm having the SAME exact issue but unfortunately I'm told like the ladies said, no backsies!

I THOUGHT THAT I WAS THE ONLY ONE!!!!!!!!
yes i invited a girl who at the time i was hanging out with more... and she had gotten engaged to my FH 1st cuz(aww we thought we were gonna be fam) he had taken back the ring and i NEVER really see her!! but i cant faze her out i asked you guys and you all told me no) AND my FSIL ASKED to be a Bm and i couldnt say no!! i told her she could be a BM in dec and havent talked to her since(she lives in FLO) so i dont know about that either!! i keep saying to FH maybe she'll forget! He donsnt think that she will!!

Yes x 1,000! I plan on having a little chit chat with the girl in my BP that seems uninterested in the whole thing. Not asking her to step down, but putting it out there that I am ok with it if she doesn't want to be in the BP. Oh and also was obligated to put FSIL into the BP ....I think she has only said about 3 words to me in the 3 years FH and I have been together.

Maybe you should talk to the girl your having the issue with and see what she says.

ugh..im in the exact same situation...but theres no way out of it... Ive given her the speech that if shes not into it that she can back out with no regrets from either of us but she INSISTS that she wants to be in it... ( THEN START ACTING LIKE IT!!!)


Id just talk to her and see where she stands and give her the oppurtunity.. if not...then your stuck with it,...

GOOD LUCK

I'm in the same boat...
I asked a BM right away and my MOH days later... since then my MOH and I have been drifting apart, we hit a bump about 3 months ago and I asked if she was still my MOH and she said she was upset with me.. we fixed that and were fine... then another bump, FOR NO REASON, and I just don't even want to work on our friendship, there's too many bumps lately and for some reason I take the blame, when I had nothing to do with it... so I was talking to my BM about how I wanted to ask someone else to be in the BP (I wanted her anyway) and the BM decided to step out (financial reasons and she lives 700 miles away) I knew it was coming, but now I replaced her with the the one I wanted to add (we're all good friends)... but I'm still stuck with my MOH. I want to make my new BM my MOH because honestly, she's done the most to help me, she went to so many dress stores and diff appointments with me and she deserves it and we've been friends for 13 years! my MOH and I have been friends for 20 but we've just been having too many problems, and I know she doesn't want to be my MOH.

I've decided to wait until closer to the wedding to bring it up to her, but I am going to ask her, one last time, if she still wants to be my MOH or if she wants to step down to BM or even out of the BP.

Good luck with this! I KNOW ITS HARD AND SU CK S!

YES, YES, YES!!! I felt 'obligated' to ask one of my oldest & at one point dearest friends to be a BM. We weren't close any more & I felt kinda funny asking but also felt bad at the thought of not asking. There was also the added pressure that my MOH is both of our BFF!!! Any way, I came to the decision to ask her & looked at it as a way to rekindle our relationship. Long story short she freaked on me one day and dropped out & completely broke off our friendship. I'm sad it ended the way it did but am kinda like 'Whateves' b/c well, I don't think she wanted to be a BM and my friend anyway, obviously.

So my advice to you is, if this is a family obligation either on your side of FH's, unfortunately I would deal if I were you. Give her/him as little info and involvement as you possibly can. Now if she/he is a friend, and you are fine w/the possibility of ending the friendship, ask her/him to step down (be prepared to give reasons). If she/he is a friend, also be prepared to defend yourself against any other friends or family who are upset at your decision. One more thing....whether this person is family or friend, if he/she is destructive in any way and has or possibly will cause you grief, I suggest you sit FH down & talk to him about it. The last thing any bride or groom needs is a toxic person in their BP.
Good Luck!