ok so i wont lie... Right now i hate my Fh... U see hes not from long island hes from a small town in Fl and seems to think that Fl is the S/H/I/T.... So there for everything about LI bothers him, however this problem usally only comes up when hes drinking.. So fast foward to tonight...
One of the girls i work with is a part time bartendeer and we went to visit her tonight.. We both agreed that we wouldnt drink to much n he choose to drive.. Needless to say he hit it off with everyone at the bar and ofcause 5 shoots later was drunk.. My g.f got off at 8 n i was more then ready to leave and it was like pulling a kid out of a candy store to get him to leave.. he claims left n right hes ok to drive but just to piss me off he drives like a A..s..s.. *he was ok but was deffinty feeling all the drinks* hes skidding out n running lights and cursing the island.... so now i try hard to put it besides us i dont want to go to bed mad n i know he will Pretend lke he dsnt remember in the morining ne way... so i act all nice n help him out, give him asprin and water, cook him food all that, Then when i try to kiss him he says nah im good thanks n lays down n attmepts to go to sleep..
Ofcause i dont let that happen i just lose it! im yelling and all tht saying how hes such a jerk n he tells me that this is all my fault he woulndt be so angry if it wasnt for me n this dumb island.....
Now if i adress this when he wakes up he will just act dumb n pretend he has no idea what im talking about... (this has happen before) Im so sick of being that bad guy for no reason.... i dont know what to do.. I love him so much and he only acts like this when he drinks witch isnt that often but when he dose he never knows when to stop..... i need some advice..nething .....
Sweets14
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Re: hate my Fh right now... Kinda long.. sorry
One i def. wouldn't have let him drive!! I would be so P@ssed at him for putting your life in danger as well as other people. Personally, I would NOT let this be dropped tomorrow. He drove like an a@@ and intentionally could've hurt you. As far as his drinking behavior if it happens everytime you guys go out he needs to understand that he is hurting you. Some things need to be talked out no matter how good or bad it is, and no matter how long it takes!!! You can't bottle this inside of you!! And he shouldn't act like he forgot. I would definitely bring it to his attention tomorrow till you guys straighten this out. My friends husband had a similar situation. He didn't drink all the time but when they go out he could not stop and turned really nasty to her. He also has driven very recklessly. Well, he quit drinking when he ended up in a head on collision coming home from a bar one night. Had a metal rod go through his eye and almost lost his eyesight!! As far as living on the island goes. This is where he chose to live obviously, he is still here!!!! I guess it can't be all that bad!!! he also might talk bs about long island because he knows it bothers you!!
tinadansr
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Re: hate my Fh right now... Kinda long.. sorry
I think you need to sit down and have a talk with him about how it makes you feel. What he is doing isn't fair or Safe for you.
HTH 's for you
mf2009
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Re: hate my Fh right now... Kinda long.. sorry
Ok you defintely defintely need to speak to him about this and don't let this drive. I'm a little worried about the fact he was drinking and driving and put your life in danger. This is not a light issue and you defintely need to discuss this ASAP. Good Luck!
Sweets14
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Re: hate my Fh right now... Kinda long.. sorry
OOps i forgot to give you a too!!! It'll work out sweetie you just need to communicate!!!
Sweets14
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Re: hate my Fh right now... Kinda long.. sorry
Also, if you need to talk more please feel free to fm me!!!!
PrincyJo
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Re: hate my Fh right now... Kinda long.. sorry
I agree that you have to talk to him about it. No way is it ok to drive after drinking.. And no way is it ok for him to think like he can't just act as if he doesn't remember and let it go away. Even IF he didn't remember it, he should still feel horrible for speaking to you like that and drinking. He needs to realize that if he doesn't know when to stop when he drinks (even if it's not often), he shouldn't drink at all. I wouldn't let it slide bc next time it won't be any better....
MirabellaNYC
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Re: hate my Fh right now... Kinda long.. sorry
I agree with all of the ladies here, this is definitely a topic you need to discuss. Brushing it off and pretending it never happened is only going to come back to hit you harder next time. And there will be a next time.
We're here for you! Good luck!
browneyes
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Re: hate my Fh right now... Kinda long.. sorry
Thanks for all the advice, im going to try n talk to him today....
PrincyJo
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Re: hate my Fh right now... Kinda long.. sorry
Posted by browneyes
Thanks for all the advice, im going to try n talk to him today....
Good Luck I hate being in an argument with fh.. sometimes it's easier to just let things slide just so you can both be happy. But in this case you gotta have the talk. Stay strong and don't give in this time!
PrincessBride09
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Re: hate my Fh right now... Kinda long.. sorry
I agree with the previous poster. Stay strong! I just had a similar fight with FH. Basically, he has gone out with his friends and promised to have 1-2 beers and hang out a while, and then drive home. He says this, yet, he comes home drunk. It doesn't happen often, but I am a firm believer that it should not happen at all! I always say, when I read the paper and see people killed by drunk drivers, I think, 'What were they thinking?' I told FH I did not want him to be one of those people! Why wait until someone gets hurt? It is a serious issue. Don't let him brush it off. It is dangerous. FH did this Friday night, and I talked to him yesterday. He didn't even remember the conversation we had when he came home. Since this has happened before, I basically told him that it absolutely cannot happen again or he will lose me. I cannot imagine my married life being spent at home worrying about him. Well, I just wanted to share and tell you that you are not the only one. Tell him how you feel! Good luck.
megsher
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Re: hate my Fh right now... Kinda long.. sorry
The drinking and driving this is so not cool, at all! But I will say I too just moved here from MD, and I miss it a lot. I love my fh, our house, my new job, and everything, but every once in a while, and I'm sure alcohol brings it out, I get sad about being here. It's not even my friends, they were all spread out everywhere anyway. But I really miss my family and places that I just feel familiar with. We now live in Hampton Bays, and it has always been my dream to live on the water. I work in Bridgehampton and every day drive through Southampton, so I really think of my life here as charmed, and wouldn't go back. But every once in a while, I really miss MD and I feel bad that FH thinks I'm mad at him for moving. So, eventhough Fh shouldn't have acted like such an ***, just think about where he is coming from.
lizzie217
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Re: hate my Fh right now... Kinda long.. sorry
The drinking and driving thing is upsetting and I think you need to talk to him about that first and foremost. As far as his homesickness it is natural, but it is unfair for him to take it out on you when he's drunk....I think a nice talk could help..good luck hun
smrsun
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Re: hate my Fh right now... Kinda long.. sorry
I don't feel I am the best at giving advice, but I agree with what all the girls have said. You need to sit him down and explain how it is affecting you and how he could have hurt you last night by driving drunk. Hope it works out ok. We all have a few rough patches in our relationships, it is what helps the relationship grow stronger.
JennyAPH
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Re: hate my Fh right now... Kinda long.. sorry
First of all... Never let him drive like that again! No way, its not worth it.. ok done lecturing.
My FH used to start fights too when he was drunk and not remember them the next day.. so one day I talked to him about it, told him how much it upset me etc. I know he never meant it they were dumb fights but when they drink you are right they dont know when to stop!.. Since i talked to him it hasnt happened, hes all sweet and cuddly now when he drinks lol (its been about a year since our last drunk fight).. so my suggestion is talk to him about it and also talk to him about the comments he makes about LI.. cause its going to get more annoying quickly if he is always complaining about LI.
BeLissa
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Re: hate my Fh right now... Kinda long.. sorry
ummm.... driving like that after several drinks to 'p*ss you off' is completely unacceptable and totally messed up - you need to make him realize that first and foremost. I have known 4 ppl in the past month or so up on nassau county's wall of shame for dwi's, in case killing himself or you or someone else doesnt deter him, maybe that will. on top of putting both your lives in danger, its childish. i dont mean to sound harsh, and i know ppl have a few and drive when they shouldnt, but to pull stunts like that and call attention to yourself is playing with fire and just plain stupid. he should be thankful he didnt get pulled over and spend the night in jail, thats the reality of it.
drunk fights are always the worst, so talking about it at that time is never productive, but dropping it the next day - esp in this case - is not going to get you anywhere either. i hope everything works out and you were able to discuss things with more level heads
Espo22
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Re: hate my Fh right now... Kinda long.. sorry
If he tried to drive when he drank then that alone would piss me off. I dont let Dh drive after having drinks period, even if its 2 or 3 then I will drive. I also have a problem and dont like other people driving period bc i dont trust how others drive even when they are sober so I REFUSE to get in the car with anyone who has been drinking. The few times someone has tried to drive after drinking, i refused to get in their car and they finally give in and just let me drive, otherwise i walk away and tell them i'll get home on my own.
What he did tonight was very irresponsible, not only did he put you in danger but so many people on the road. And he should thank god he didnt get pulled over
next time, dont even get in the car with him. Everyone who is drunk always says 'im fine and i can drive' in their minds they believe this. But if you know he has been drinking then refuse to let him drive again.
