Have or are any of you marrying 'outside' of your economic circle?
Iloveweddings
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Have or are any of you marrying 'outside' of your economic circle?
For example, I was pretty poor growing up and my FH's family is VERY wealthy (although he is not! lol) How are you going to or how have you handled this issue? Although my FMIL doesn't say it, I am sure that she feels that her son is marrying 'down' LOL On the flip side, I am better educated then all of them! Go figure!
Jordan
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Re: Have or are any of you marrying 'outside' of your economic circle?
My FHs family is pretty wealthy - they own a concrete company with plants in Red Hook and the Rockaway area...but FH does pretty d a m n good in his own right. I don't think either of us are marrying up or down - I was raised in upper-middle class out east, he was raised inthe 5 Towns.
I wouldn't worry about what your FILs think - it's what you & your FH think, that's important.
xjulietx
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Re: Have or are any of you marrying 'outside' of your economic circle?
I grew up okay. Never struggled but wasn't indulged either. FH grew up in Poland when it was a Communist country and food and clothing was hard to get. He was fortunate that his dad had a good job and they always had food and clothes, but he still didn't have the things that we have here in the U.S.
Now FH's parents are struggling because his dad is on disability and his mom only has a factory job (both parents were civil engineers in Poland had to take factory jobs to pay the bills). And now my parents are doing better (more secure jobs, etc)
FH has a good job and a great work ethic. Class-wise, we have similar families, income-wise my family is a little better off. Neither one of us thinks the other's family is above or below us.
prncssrachel
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Re: Have or are any of you marrying 'outside' of your economic circle?
Although we grew up in the same town, our families are miles apart in the income area. But my parents both have their masters and good jobs and JT's father, an immigrant from Ireland, has a government job and his mother refuses to work, so they are a low income household. I do not think it matters one bit for JT or I, but his mother always says snide things about how my family is 'rich' (which they're not), so we can afford to have nice things, unlike her because she's poor. I mean, who says that? Really. Gimme a break.
LizD
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Re: Have or are any of you marrying 'outside' of your economic circle?
We are exactly the same. I grew up a cops daughter, and he was a federal cops son. I would say the incomes were just about the same, both middle to upper middle class
Kathy116
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Re: Have or are any of you marrying 'outside' of your economic circle?
FIs grew up in a family that was VERY involved in Politics, Country Club life,,,,you get the pic. My parents...total opposites!!!!
Thanks GOD FI is not like his parents! He's very well off in his own right, not from them...he did it all on his own, they didn't contribute a dime to his education, to anything!!! Even though he comes from $$$, he's truly a self-made man....he survived for months on pasta and sauce because he had no other money in college for food! Now, he owns his own practice, animal hospital and is doing great. I love my FI!
So, he's outside my economic circle, but it never seemed that way because he did it without any assistance from his priviledged family
Annieb
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Re: Have or are any of you marrying 'outside' of your economic circle?
Annieb
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Re: Have or are any of you marrying 'outside' of your economic circle?
Iloveweddings
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Re: Have or are any of you marrying 'outside' of your economic circle?
Annie-I can relate to you in the reverse. Since my FH's family is Wealthy, my FH thinks that many things should be given to him. I think you have to earn things and be appreciative as to things that do get done for us. I feel we are lucky to have his parents (my dad passed away and my mom is disabled) so they are very good to us. However, I NEVER take anything for granted or assume anything!
LisaW
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Re: Have or are any of you marrying 'outside' of your economic circle?
Annie, I can relate to that.
My parents paid for the WHOLE wedding and FIL didn't offer anything. Ok, so it was DH's second marraige, but my first. My parents spent an unbelieveable amt of $$, not b/c they had to, but b/c they wanted to, but when my mom suggested that to DH that his dad should pay for a rehearsal dinner, DH was a nervous wreck! I didn't invite any of the BP, just had family there. DH and I even shared a dish!!!
Even though my parents have more $$, his dad is by no means poor, he used to own 2 supermarkets in Western NY.
Our wedding was on FIL bday so we asked Oheka just to bring a small cake to his table during desert time, something inconspicuous. Well, they took it upon themselves to bring out this cake in the middle of the dance floor and have the band sing happy birthday!! I thought my Mom was going to KILL me!!! I still remember her look of death!!
Annieb
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Re: Have or are any of you marrying 'outside' of your economic circle?
Lisa-i am getting married at oheka as well...so i feel your pain...every penny of it
i can't believe that birthday thing...some people...
mlp924
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Re: Have or are any of you marrying 'outside' of your economic circle?
No Matt and I both grew up with upper middle class parents.
