nasty arguments with friends/family members about the number of people they can bring?? I just had a nasty argument with a close friend this morning. I had asked over a month ago whether she is bringing her husband to the wedding-- the reason why i had asked is because they were going through some major problems in their marriage. I also asked because the number of seats are tight and i wanted to get a feel on the number of seats needed for her party. So she said that she is going with her baby. I had already put down 2 reserved seats on her rsvp card before speaking to her and i told her on the phone when she gets the invitation to treat the #2 for her and her baby. I guess i should have crossed out the 2 anyway. So last week she decides that she wants to bring her husband and i had explained to her that it isn't possible now because i gave that seat to someone else. She then rants on that he is not going to eat any food and i had explained to her that he still can't walk in because we will still have to pay extra for him. So now fast forward to yesterday when i had received her rsvp card and she only puts down her name. I had called today to confirm that she is only bringing her self and her baby. She said the samething from last week and that you can not consider JP as a person. So i had repeatedly explained to her about the number of seats on the rsvp card and said that she had originally agreed that her husband is not coming. So now the conversation turns into an argument and she angrily says that she can not come and i told her that it is fine and we both hung up.
Have anyone gone thru this type of crap with anyone?
SparkyandAng
Posted:
Member since
Re: Have you had some....
I'm sorry...weddings bring out the worst in people sometimes.
I haven't gotten to the rsvp stage yet and not looking forward to it.
Kerin2804
Posted:
Member since
Re: Have you had some....
Sometimes people just don't understand...It is not about who eats what food - the RH charges per person and accomodates only so many people.
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: Have you had some....
does the baby count as a seat? normally it doesnt since it doesnt really get a seat...so if you put her down for 2 then her husband coming should really not be a problem.
I understand people have policies about 'and guest' but a husband or wife should always be allowed to attend. Maybe at first he wasnt able to make it but if somebody told me that i couldnt bring my husband then i'd be very upset, the same way im sure you would be upset if youre husband was told he can't go.
Honestly, its not worth it to fight with your friend...and ill tell you a little secret, MOST RH's dont charge you extra that day if you go over especially if its 1 person they wont do that, they dont even do that if its a bit more than that.
Its not worth it to get into fights about these things, dont let friendships get ruined, especially over something like a friend of yours attending with her husband.
deed766
Posted:
Member since
Re: Have you had some....
Thanks SparkyandAng. I feel kind of upset and sad at the same time. I didn't even tell my fh yet, i am waiting for him to get a break and call me so i an tell him what went down.
deed766
Posted:
Member since
Re: Have you had some....
Posted by Espo22
does the baby count as a seat? normally it doesnt since it doesnt really get a seat...so if you put her down for 2 then her husband coming should really not be a problem.
I understand people have policies about 'and guest' but a husband or wife should always be allowed to attend. Maybe at first he wasnt able to make it but if somebody told me that i couldnt bring my husband then i'd be very upset, the same way im sure you would be upset if youre husband was told he can't go.
Honestly, its not worth it to fight with your friend...and ill tell you a little secret, MOST RH's dont charge you extra that day if you go over especially if its 1 person they wont do that, they dont even do that if its a bit more than that.
Its not worth it to get into fights about these things, dont let friendships get ruined, especially over something like a friend of yours attending with her husband.
I put down the information in the original post:
#2 reserved seats was put in before i had spoke to her. I had already explained to her what the damn thing meant. She said she and her baby will be the only person coming because of the problems with her husband (caught cheating) and that is why she didn't put him down.--so it wasn't about him being unable to come. Yes, under normal circumnstances you would invite both husband and wife but since she said that she didn't want him to come, i had taken him off. I hope that answers it.
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: Have you had some....
Posted by deed766
Posted by Espo22
does the baby count as a seat? normally it doesnt since it doesnt really get a seat...so if you put her down for 2 then her husband coming should really not be a problem.
I understand people have policies about 'and guest' but a husband or wife should always be allowed to attend. Maybe at first he wasnt able to make it but if somebody told me that i couldnt bring my husband then i'd be very upset, the same way im sure you would be upset if youre husband was told he can't go.
Honestly, its not worth it to fight with your friend...and ill tell you a little secret, MOST RH's dont charge you extra that day if you go over especially if its 1 person they wont do that, they dont even do that if its a bit more than that.
Its not worth it to get into fights about these things, dont let friendships get ruined, especially over something like a friend of yours attending with her husband.
I put down the information in the original post:
#2 reserved seats was put in before i had spoke to her. I had already explained to her what the damn thing meant. She said she and her baby will be the only person coming because of the problems with her husband (caught cheating) and that is why she didn't put him down.--so it wasn't about him being unable to come. Yes, under normal circumnstances you would invite both husband and wife but since she said that she didn't want him to come, i had taken him off. I hope that answers it.
i know i read your post...thats why i said if its 2 seats and she is bringing a baby, does the baby even really get counted as a seat? if its a baby normally it wouldnt even get a seat so therefore the whole number thing doesnt matter since technically she still can bring 1 person.
I would ask your RH about the baby situation and would that even get counted towards your headcount, as a baby they dont even charge you anything for any babies attending so technically if you put her down for 2 people then you are paying for an extra person that is not even coming bc the baby doesnt get a meal.
I understood everything in your post, just trying to point out that if shes put down for 2 then her bringing a baby still is only 1 person towards headcount and money you have to pay.
soon2bmrsconnolly
Posted:
Member since
Re: Have you had some....
I agree with Espo. I know my RH doesn't charge for kids under 5, so maybe yours has a similar policy..
GinaZ
Posted:
Member since
Re: Have you had some....
Posted by Espo22
does the baby count as a seat? normally it doesnt since it doesnt really get a seat...so if you put her down for 2 then her husband coming should really not be a problem.
I understand people have policies about 'and guest' but a husband or wife should always be allowed to attend. Maybe at first he wasnt able to make it but if somebody told me that i couldnt bring my husband then i'd be very upset, the same way im sure you would be upset if youre husband was told he can't go.
Honestly, its not worth it to fight with your friend...and ill tell you a little secret, MOST RH's dont charge you extra that day if you go over especially if its 1 person they wont do that, they dont even do that if its a bit more than that.
Its not worth it to get into fights about these things, dont let friendships get ruined, especially over something like a friend of yours attending with her husband.
I agree. If the baby is young enough, it probably wont need a seat anyway. And it is her husband- maybe you should give in on this one. I know its very frustrating and people just dont get it, but sometimes u just have to give in and move on.
deed766
Posted:
Member since
Re: Have you had some....
Posted by Espo22
Posted by deed766
Posted by Espo22
does the baby count as a seat? normally it doesnt since it doesnt really get a seat...so if you put her down for 2 then her husband coming should really not be a problem.
I understand people have policies about 'and guest' but a husband or wife should always be allowed to attend. Maybe at first he wasnt able to make it but if somebody told me that i couldnt bring my husband then i'd be very upset, the same way im sure you would be upset if youre husband was told he can't go.
Honestly, its not worth it to fight with your friend...and ill tell you a little secret, MOST RH's dont charge you extra that day if you go over especially if its 1 person they wont do that, they dont even do that if its a bit more than that.
Its not worth it to get into fights about these things, dont let friendships get ruined, especially over something like a friend of yours attending with her husband.
I put down the information in the original post:
#2 reserved seats was put in before i had spoke to her. I had already explained to her what the damn thing meant. She said she and her baby will be the only person coming because of the problems with her husband (caught cheating) and that is why she didn't put him down.--so it wasn't about him being unable to come. Yes, under normal circumnstances you would invite both husband and wife but since she said that she didn't want him to come, i had taken him off. I hope that answers it.
i know i read your post...thats why i said if its 2 seats and she is bringing a baby, does the baby even really get counted as a seat? if its a baby normally it wouldnt even get a seat so therefore the whole number thing doesnt matter since technically she still can bring 1 person.
I would ask your RH about the baby situation and would that even get counted towards your headcount, as a baby they dont even charge you anything for any babies attending so technically if you put her down for 2 people then you are paying for an extra person that is not even coming bc the baby doesnt get a meal.
I understood everything in your post, just trying to point out that if shes put down for 2 then her bringing a baby still is only 1 person towards headcount and money you have to pay.
Did you read the part when i said the #2 was written down on rsvp card before i had spoke to her about her husband problem?? Again after i had written down the rsvp card with the #2 seating, I had spoke to her on the phone. So after she told me that she is only coming with her baby, i had explained to her that she will have to now consider the #2 as for her and her baby only because i am now going to give away the extra seat (meaning one seat left). So again not two seats but just one seat for her and her baby. Again, i had said that i had given the guest seat that she had givenup to someone else.
deed766
Posted:
Member since
Re: Have you had some....
Ladies--the problem isn't about the baby. I gave the seat that was meant for the husband to someone else when she said she will no longer use that seat. Hopefully this is clear on a go forward basis.
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: Have you had some....
Posted by deed766
Posted by Espo22
Posted by deed766
Posted by Espo22
does the baby count as a seat? normally it doesnt since it doesnt really get a seat...so if you put her down for 2 then her husband coming should really not be a problem.
I understand people have policies about 'and guest' but a husband or wife should always be allowed to attend. Maybe at first he wasnt able to make it but if somebody told me that i couldnt bring my husband then i'd be very upset, the same way im sure you would be upset if youre husband was told he can't go.
Honestly, its not worth it to fight with your friend...and ill tell you a little secret, MOST RH's dont charge you extra that day if you go over especially if its 1 person they wont do that, they dont even do that if its a bit more than that.
Its not worth it to get into fights about these things, dont let friendships get ruined, especially over something like a friend of yours attending with her husband.
I put down the information in the original post:
#2 reserved seats was put in before i had spoke to her. I had already explained to her what the damn thing meant. She said she and her baby will be the only person coming because of the problems with her husband (caught cheating) and that is why she didn't put him down.--so it wasn't about him being unable to come. Yes, under normal circumnstances you would invite both husband and wife but since she said that she didn't want him to come, i had taken him off. I hope that answers it.
i know i read your post...thats why i said if its 2 seats and she is bringing a baby, does the baby even really get counted as a seat? if its a baby normally it wouldnt even get a seat so therefore the whole number thing doesnt matter since technically she still can bring 1 person.
I would ask your RH about the baby situation and would that even get counted towards your headcount, as a baby they dont even charge you anything for any babies attending so technically if you put her down for 2 people then you are paying for an extra person that is not even coming bc the baby doesnt get a meal.
I understood everything in your post, just trying to point out that if shes put down for 2 then her bringing a baby still is only 1 person towards headcount and money you have to pay.
Did you read the part when i said the #2 was written down on rsvp card before i had spoke to her about her husband problem?? Again after i had written down the rsvp card with the #2 seating, I had spoke to her on the phone. So after she told me that she is only coming with her baby, i had explained to her that she will have to now consider the #2 as for her and her baby only because i am now going to give away the extra seat (meaning one seat left). So again not two seats but just one seat for her and her baby. Again, i had said that i had given the guest seat that she had givenup to someone else.
did you read where i said that an RH wont actually charge you the day of if you go over
i understand her husband wasnt going to come, ok they had problems but now she wants him to come, no matter what happened that is their business. If you want to fight with your friend bc of 1 seat then go ahead. I was just trying to help you realize maybe its not worth it. Your RH can accomodate 1 extra person and wont charge for 1 extra person that you go over, trust me on this. If it was a situation where ppl were fighting about bringing a bf/friend/ or some random person its different. Its your wedding so do whatever you think is right. I dont know how close you are to this person and if its a good friend or not, if not then im sure you dont care about what would happen to the relationship but if it is just have to think if its worth it and if you would want her there or not and what is really important in the end.
its 1 day and the day comes and goes, and OUR day that everybody has to be concerned about goes by quickly but the relationships that are effected during the planning bc of fights can last for a long time or forever.
deed766
Posted:
Member since
Re: Have you had some....
Posted by Espo22
Posted by deed766
Posted by Espo22
Posted by deed766
Posted by Espo22
does the baby count as a seat? normally it doesnt since it doesnt really get a seat...so if you put her down for 2 then her husband coming should really not be a problem.
I understand people have policies about 'and guest' but a husband or wife should always be allowed to attend. Maybe at first he wasnt able to make it but if somebody told me that i couldnt bring my husband then i'd be very upset, the same way im sure you would be upset if youre husband was told he can't go.
Honestly, its not worth it to fight with your friend...and ill tell you a little secret, MOST RH's dont charge you extra that day if you go over especially if its 1 person they wont do that, they dont even do that if its a bit more than that.
Its not worth it to get into fights about these things, dont let friendships get ruined, especially over something like a friend of yours attending with her husband.
I put down the information in the original post:
#2 reserved seats was put in before i had spoke to her. I had already explained to her what the damn thing meant. She said she and her baby will be the only person coming because of the problems with her husband (caught cheating) and that is why she didn't put him down.--so it wasn't about him being unable to come. Yes, under normal circumnstances you would invite both husband and wife but since she said that she didn't want him to come, i had taken him off. I hope that answers it.
i know i read your post...thats why i said if its 2 seats and she is bringing a baby, does the baby even really get counted as a seat? if its a baby normally it wouldnt even get a seat so therefore the whole number thing doesnt matter since technically she still can bring 1 person.
I would ask your RH about the baby situation and would that even get counted towards your headcount, as a baby they dont even charge you anything for any babies attending so technically if you put her down for 2 people then you are paying for an extra person that is not even coming bc the baby doesnt get a meal.
I understood everything in your post, just trying to point out that if shes put down for 2 then her bringing a baby still is only 1 person towards headcount and money you have to pay.
Did you read the part when i said the #2 was written down on rsvp card before i had spoke to her about her husband problem?? Again after i had written down the rsvp card with the #2 seating, I had spoke to her on the phone. So after she told me that she is only coming with her baby, i had explained to her that she will have to now consider the #2 as for her and her baby only because i am now going to give away the extra seat (meaning one seat left). So again not two seats but just one seat for her and her baby. Again, i had said that i had given the guest seat that she had givenup to someone else.
did you read where i said that an RH wont actually charge you the day of if you go over
i understand her husband wasnt going to come, ok they had problems but now she wants him to come, no matter what happened that is their business. If you want to fight with your friend bc of 1 seat then go ahead. I was just trying to help you realize maybe its not worth it. Your RH can accomodate 1 extra person and wont charge for 1 extra person that you go over, trust me on this. If it was a situation where ppl were fighting about bringing a bf/friend/ or some random person its different. Its your wedding so do whatever you think is right. I dont know how close you are to this person and if its a good friend or not, if not then im sure you dont care about what would happen to the relationship but if it is just have to think if its worth it and if you would want her there or not and what is really important in the end.
its 1 day and the day comes and goes, and OUR day that everybody has to be concerned about goes by quickly but the relationships that are effected during the planning bc of fights can last for a long time or forever.
Understand what you are saying but i don't think that would work with my RH, which is also my ceremony room. The say they keep track of the number of people by the number of chairs and the place cards. I don't know how accurate they are with this method but i damn sure don't want anyone walking up to me about a bill on my wedding for an extra person that shouldn't be there.
I also see your point about friendship but i also see that she is not understanding about my wedding plans. I think i might i have to cave in and let her bring him because i am to a point of trying to get through this wedding with an intact brain/mind.
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: Have you had some....
Posted by deed766
Posted by Espo22
Posted by deed766
Posted by Espo22
Posted by deed766
Posted by Espo22
does the baby count as a seat? normally it doesnt since it doesnt really get a seat...so if you put her down for 2 then her husband coming should really not be a problem.
I understand people have policies about 'and guest' but a husband or wife should always be allowed to attend. Maybe at first he wasnt able to make it but if somebody told me that i couldnt bring my husband then i'd be very upset, the same way im sure you would be upset if youre husband was told he can't go.
Honestly, its not worth it to fight with your friend...and ill tell you a little secret, MOST RH's dont charge you extra that day if you go over especially if its 1 person they wont do that, they dont even do that if its a bit more than that.
Its not worth it to get into fights about these things, dont let friendships get ruined, especially over something like a friend of yours attending with her husband.
I put down the information in the original post:
#2 reserved seats was put in before i had spoke to her. I had already explained to her what the damn thing meant. She said she and her baby will be the only person coming because of the problems with her husband (caught cheating) and that is why she didn't put him down.--so it wasn't about him being unable to come. Yes, under normal circumnstances you would invite both husband and wife but since she said that she didn't want him to come, i had taken him off. I hope that answers it.
i know i read your post...thats why i said if its 2 seats and she is bringing a baby, does the baby even really get counted as a seat? if its a baby normally it wouldnt even get a seat so therefore the whole number thing doesnt matter since technically she still can bring 1 person.
I would ask your RH about the baby situation and would that even get counted towards your headcount, as a baby they dont even charge you anything for any babies attending so technically if you put her down for 2 people then you are paying for an extra person that is not even coming bc the baby doesnt get a meal.
I understood everything in your post, just trying to point out that if shes put down for 2 then her bringing a baby still is only 1 person towards headcount and money you have to pay.
Did you read the part when i said the #2 was written down on rsvp card before i had spoke to her about her husband problem?? Again after i had written down the rsvp card with the #2 seating, I had spoke to her on the phone. So after she told me that she is only coming with her baby, i had explained to her that she will have to now consider the #2 as for her and her baby only because i am now going to give away the extra seat (meaning one seat left). So again not two seats but just one seat for her and her baby. Again, i had said that i had given the guest seat that she had givenup to someone else.
did you read where i said that an RH wont actually charge you the day of if you go over
i understand her husband wasnt going to come, ok they had problems but now she wants him to come, no matter what happened that is their business. If you want to fight with your friend bc of 1 seat then go ahead. I was just trying to help you realize maybe its not worth it. Your RH can accomodate 1 extra person and wont charge for 1 extra person that you go over, trust me on this. If it was a situation where ppl were fighting about bringing a bf/friend/ or some random person its different. Its your wedding so do whatever you think is right. I dont know how close you are to this person and if its a good friend or not, if not then im sure you dont care about what would happen to the relationship but if it is just have to think if its worth it and if you would want her there or not and what is really important in the end.
its 1 day and the day comes and goes, and OUR day that everybody has to be concerned about goes by quickly but the relationships that are effected during the planning bc of fights can last for a long time or forever.
Understand what you are saying but i don't think that would work with my RH, which is also my ceremony room. The say they keep track of the number of people by the number of chairs and the place cards. I don't know how accurate they are with this method but i damn sure don't want anyone walking up to me about a bill on my wedding for an extra person that shouldn't be there.
I also see your point about friendship but i also see that she is not understanding about my wedding plans. I think i might i have to cave in and let her bring him because i am to a point of trying to get through this wedding with an intact brain/mind.
you could ask your RH what they do if 1 extra person shows up...i was told alot that if it goes over we owe X amount, but a few days before i was told, listen we never actually charge more if extra ppl come in.
