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Having some major anxiety about this list

Lauren579 Posted:

Having some major anxiety about this list

KDNY133 Posted:

Re: Having some major anxiety about this list

I sure do know what your talkng about...there are days i wanna cancel the whole wedding.

Bride2Be78 Posted:

Re: Having some major anxiety about this list

We are in the same boat. We might have to make tough decisions in the end. My dad wants me to invite family that I really don't want there. Not sure what to do either. We are paying most of it ourselves. Wish money was no object--so frustrating....

4Everhisgirl Posted:

Re: Having some major anxiety about this list

Tell them the amount of people that you can afford and if they need to invite over that number that they should pay for the difference...and if they can't pay for them then those other people don't get invited! You and FH should be able to invite all the friends that the two of you want...it's your day!!

PaddysGirl Posted:

Re: Having some major anxiety about this list

I feel your pain. We invited several extended family members with their children ( ) believing that they will not show up (coming from cross country) and now we are hearing that they may show up. I wanted no more than 130 to be at the wedding, our list is now at 215 (includes 10 children) and I just want to cry!
crystallite444 Posted:

Re: Having some major anxiety about this list

Same problem fmil list is huge!

AwaitingAugust Posted:

Re: Having some major anxiety about this list

my only advise is this:
if you can afford it, don't exclude any of your friends from the list - you will regret not inviting them. if you're on the fence about inviting somebody, invite them.

and as mentioned by others, tell your future in-laws that they can only invite a certain num of people. If they want to invite more than that, they can pay for them themselves.

good luck!
Bride2Be78 Posted:

Re: Having some major anxiety about this list

Posted by PaddysGirl

I feel your pain. We invited several extended family members with their children ( ) believing that they will not show up (coming from cross country) and now we are hearing that they may show up. I wanted no more than 130 to be at the wedding, our list is now at 215 (includes 10 children) and I just want to cry!


I'm not inviting children of extended family. Is that bad?! I just can't afford it.
Lauren579 Posted:

Re: Having some major anxiety about this list

Posted by PaddysGirl

I feel your pain. We invited several extended family members with their children ( ) believing that they will not show up (coming from cross country) and now we are hearing that they may show up. I wanted no more than 130 to be at the wedding, our list is now at 215 (includes 10 children) and I just want to cry!


paddysgirl!!! i hope everything works out. lets hope for financial sake that people are just bluffing and wont come.

thank you girls i really appreciate your stories. i really hope everyones situations work out for the best. i had no idea wedding planning would be this stressful. i was up until 4am with a blotchy rash all over my neck because im feeling so much anxiety about this. hope that doesnt happen on the wedding day lol! im so lucky that my parents are paying for the majority of my wedding but im so scared to tell my dad our list has got this large. i really dont want him to pay for over 130 so i will be taking care of the rest. doesnt help he might be losing his job soon. and i'm not working. (just moved from PA to NY and my MT license doesnt transfer)
Lauren579 Posted:

Re: Having some major anxiety about this list


I'm not inviting children of extended family. Is that bad?! I just can't afford it.


no i dont think thats bad! I wasent invited to alot of weddings as a child. people have to understand!
bowlergyal Posted:

Re: Having some major anxiety about this list

Posted by 4Everhisgirl

Tell them the amount of people that you can afford and if they need to invite over that number that they should pay for the difference...and if they can't pay for them then those other people don't get invited! You and FH should be able to invite all the friends that the two of you want...it's your day!!


ITA
I had to tell my dad to stop with the list, especially people I do not know. Or have not seen since I was 4 years old! Even though he offered to pay for them, I am not feeling it....
bowlergyal Posted:

Re: Having some major anxiety about this list

Posted by Bride2Be78

Posted by PaddysGirl

I feel your pain. We invited several extended family members with their children ( ) believing that they will not show up (coming from cross country) and now we are hearing that they may show up. I wanted no more than 130 to be at the wedding, our list is now at 215 (includes 10 children) and I just want to cry!


I'm not inviting children of extended family. Is that bad?! I just can't afford it.


Nope I even had to tell my own nephews they can't come...they are 12 and why in the world would i pay $50 a plate for someone that is not drinking and will not like the food...or worse get chicken fingers and fries!
pixietina Posted:

Re: Having some major anxiety about this list

It's your wedding and you two are the ones paying for it. You should have a big say in your guest list despite feelings that may get hurt. Invite the people you really want to be there.

2013Bride Posted:

Re: Having some major anxiety about this list

If your Parents are paying for the majority of the wedding (reception!!) and YOUR wish is to have 130 people... then give your FMIL a set number. That's what we had to do. My Parents are paying but my wishes were to not have a huge wedding.... I wanted 125-130 people.
I have a huge family of Aunts, Uncles and first cousins and my fiance doesn't have as big of a family, so we really needed to limit as his parents were inviting tons of friends from years ago to 'fill' their list. We limited them to 40 guests, which is more than enough to accommodate them.
leidyk Posted:

Re: Having some major anxiety about this list

The suggestions here sound easier said than done! :( I had a HUGE fight with my FFIL over this a week ago, I mean we yelled at e/o which had nver ever happend cus we all get along so well.. In-laws are paying for reception, so obviously they had a 'say.' However, from the beginning i've made it a pt to let them know it's our wedding, and that I didn't want the whole block there sorta speak, and that I didn't want a huge wedding. I love them both very much, but truly I felt they wanted too much say. Well as I was putting my STD together, and started asking questions, he plainly told me why don't you do your side and we'll do ours since you don't know these ppl anyway. I said why? these are MY STD's, I paid for them, it's my wedding, etc..He told me 'whos paying for these ppl' I was LIVID..had a huge fight, and my FH didn't want to take sides, he told me since he's paying for these ppl that I should let him invite whomever... :(
We are @ 200 ppl...
fintababyetc Posted:

Re: Having some major anxiety about this list

The list was absolutely the most stressful thing!!!

If it makes you feel any better, we invited 200 and only 160 ultimately came...

They say about 10-20% of the people invited won't come (if a lot of people are out of town, even higher), but my stomach sure was in knots hoping that was true when I was waiting for the RSVPs to come back!
Moonmist09 Posted:

Re: Having some major anxiety about this list

Posted by 4Everhisgirl

Tell them the amount of people that you can afford and if they need to invite over that number that they should pay for the difference...and if they can't pay for them then those other people don't get invited! You and FH should be able to invite all the friends that the two of you want...it's your day!!


This! if you can't afford it and they are not willing to pay for these guests then they don't get invited. plus, your getting married in August, you don't know yet who will actually rsvp yes or no yet since its way too soon. don't stress out about something that you won't really know anything about until months from now. when you start getting those rsvp's back, they will surprise you
linda_art Posted:

Re: Having some major anxiety about this list

Def the most annoying part besides the cost of everything! LOL. We've come to the realization that it is what it is and we may have to squish ppl into the room we are going to? Whats the worst that can happen, the old ppl leave early? LOL...

Nicphil08 Posted:

Re: Having some major anxiety about this list

omg i feel like this post was made for me.. the only stress of this whole wedding is the list. it is way over what i wanted. ive been putting my foot down and FH is on my side about his mothers list. i could go on and on but lord only knows who reads this... lol

i thought i was in this alone!

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