I had parent teacher conferences today, and i found out what a freaking nightmare of a life one of my kids has had.... and i cant stop thinking about it...
his mother was almost killed by his father about two years ago... he broke down the window and swung a baseball bat at her head that shattered her skull and caused internal bleeding, then the creep went after his wifes mother and grandmother...
the kid in my class has a brother and a sister, and they both witnessed the whole thing, and the sister was actually the one that called 911. My little one didn't see anything, he was only 7 when it happened, and his older siblings did a good job of protecting him.
this little boy who has been through all of this is such a strong person... he comes in every day with a HUGE smile on his face... i love him, hes definitely one of my favorites, and I cant get the whole ordeal out of my head. His mother was talking about it and i started to cry because of just how unbelievable it is...
i came home and searched for the story online, and i read a few different articles about it, and im sobbing hysterically... i wish there was something i could do... his moms new husband was also just diagnosed with leukemia, and the kids LOVEEEE him, so theyve also got this to deal with...
i dont even know what to do, i cant stop thinking about it...
ellyoxox
Posted:
Member since
Re: .... having trouble...
omg that's crazy. it's so sad that kids have to go through stuff like that.
Ann 52409
Posted:
Member since
Re: .... having trouble...
WOW that is really a sad story but, thank God they made it through and as a teacher I think you can let him know that you really care and you will be there for him if he ever needs someone to talk to
kabo0831
Posted:
Member since
Re: .... having trouble...
omg that is so sad, that poor boy found a new father and then he has this illness now. This family is fighters and the new DH will come through this. you are making me cry
MrsDrinkh20
Posted:
Member since
Re: .... having trouble...
Its so hard Marissa...dealing with children you realize quickly how many horrible tragedies children have to cope with. It is so hard to take a step back and remain involved enough to be compassionate but not too much that you are devastated everytime you hear a sad story. SOmething that helps me is to realize that although these children have some terrible things happening at home, at least YOU are giving him a positive experience at school. That bond is somethng that will help with self esteem, comfort and an overall happy outlook on life. I commend you for getting involved and loving this child. Always remember you are doing wonderful things.
he gives me butterflies
Posted:
Member since
Re: .... having trouble...
awwe, so sad. i cant believe it. sometimes i think i live in a huge bubble. i dont think that there is anything you can do except be yourself and continue being kind.
PoppedInASnap
Posted:
Member since
Re: .... having trouble...
I few of my kids have gone through that and worse, and trust me, you will NOT be able to get it out of your head for a while.
When you look at them and say toyourself 'wow, their so young and they have to go through so much' it starts to make you live life a little better... as terrible as that sounds.
Sometimes i feel like its all a sign... that maybe they are there because they are teaching me a lesson... if that makes any sense...
mdawg
Posted:
Member since
Re: .... having trouble...
Posted by MrsFazz2B
I few of my kids have gone through that and worse, and trust me, you will NOT be able to get it out of your head for a while.
When you look at them and say toyourself 'wow, their so young and they have to go through so much' it starts to make you live life a little better... as terrible as that sounds.
Sometimes i feel like its all a sign... that maybe they are there because they are teaching me a lesson... if that makes any sense...
i 100% agree about them being there to teach me a lesson. Like my life hasnt been perfect, but it is NOWHERE near as bad as this little kid has it, and he is STILL smiling every day... he is just a breath of fresh air in terms of really understanding how precious life is... i will definitely think twice before i even start to say that my life s.u.c.k.s. because this kid doesnt complain about anything but sure as hell has every right to.
mdawg
Posted:
Member since
Re: .... having trouble...
Posted by lmt245
Its so hard Marissa...dealing with children you realize quickly how many horrible tragedies children have to cope with. It is so hard to take a step back and remain involved enough to be compassionate but not too much that you are devastated everytime you hear a sad story. SOmething that helps me is to realize that although these children have some terrible things happening at home, at least YOU are giving him a positive experience at school. That bond is somethng that will help with self esteem, comfort and an overall happy outlook on life. I commend you for getting involved and loving this child. Always remember you are doing wonderful things.
Thats what my cooperating teacher said too... hes like 'well we know that when he comes here, he's happy, and when he leaves here he's happy, that means we're doing as much as we can to make his life a little brighter.' but i still cant stop thinking about the trauma he must have gone through...
little34
Posted:
Member since
Re: .... having trouble...
I think you just have to be the best teacher for him and all of the other kids... it is true that teachers can change lives and if you make yourself available to him, make his day fun, and make every kid feel important then that is all you can do. They will all remember you and come to you when they need something.
beram63
Posted:
Member since
Re: .... having trouble...
i have kids w/ crazy situations too. the most extreme example this year is the darling 7th grader whose mother is a crackhead and abandoned the whole family while dad tries to manage on his own (along w/ a whole host of other problems that i won't go into). the best thing you can do is let them know that you're available for them. this girl wrote PAGES and PAGES about her mom in her journal, and there was nothing i could really do except write a little note about being available to talk if she needs to. if guidance already knows about the problem, then there's very little recourse for a teacher.
PoppedInASnap
Posted:
Member since
Re: .... having trouble...
Posted by mdawg
Posted by MrsFazz2B
I few of my kids have gone through that and worse, and trust me, you will NOT be able to get it out of your head for a while.
When you look at them and say toyourself 'wow, their so young and they have to go through so much' it starts to make you live life a little better... as terrible as that sounds.
Sometimes i feel like its all a sign... that maybe they are there because they are teaching me a lesson... if that makes any sense...
i 100% agree about them being there to teach me a lesson. Like my life hasnt been perfect, but it is NOWHERE near as bad as this little kid has it, and he is STILL smiling every day... he is just a breath of fresh air in terms of really understanding how precious life is... i will definitely think twice before i even start to say that my life s.u.c.k.s. because this kid doesnt complain about anything but sure as hell has every right to.
Youre right also... Just remember, were their teachers for a reason also :)
tinadansr
Posted:
Member since
Re: .... having trouble...
that's tough hun.....but just know your there for him!
MrsDtoBe09
Posted:
Member since
Re: .... having trouble...
Unfortunately, you will hear many more stories like this. It never gets easier. Somehow, I'm the suicide watch teacher... on a montly basis I get some kind of cry for help - either a kid cutting themself or claiming they wish they were dead. Just remember, you're there to help them. Sometimes the simplest things, like a compliment, go miles for kids with tough lives. Good luck! for you and for the boy and his family!
I know it is hard to hear all this stuff, but you will hear so many different stories throughout your years as an educator. I have been working with kids for over 10 years, I started with Dept. Of Ed, as soon as I got out of H.S., so I have every and any story you can think of. Being an EDUCATOR you will have to learn how to deal with these situations. It will make you stronger when you learn to deal and makes your job even more important. Hang in.
GinaBambina08
Posted:
Member since
Re: .... having trouble...
awwww that's so sad... I can relate, i'm student teaching right now, and it's crazy how attached you could get to your students...I view them as my children, lol! The other day, I noticed an eighth grader bullying one of my sixth graders in the hallway and I felt like cracking him in the skull!
Summertimegal424
Posted:
Member since
Re: .... having trouble...
omg that is awful! but it happens everywhere...even as young as 4, i just give those kids extra hugs!
( i dont know how i will ever work in public school w/out giving hugs! ) LOL
longislandlibrarian
Posted:
Member since
Re: .... having trouble...
I totally understand how you feel.. my FH ran into this same type of thing when he was student teaching, and he sees it while subbing..... I just always tell him.. that no matter what, he and the other teachers can make a difference in this child's life everyday!!!!!! even if it's just to make him/her laugh or smile.......
I am a children's librarian.... and I've run into similar cases... it's sooo hard to hear.. but it definitely inspires me to DO MORE FOR KIDS
CNC4eva3402
Posted:
Member since
Re: .... having trouble...
Wow! I don't even know what to say. It's so sad to hear stories like that. What a strong family. That little boy is amazing!!
Jayla127
Posted:
Member since
Re: .... having trouble...
Two of my co-workers/girlfriends who teache the 3rd grade and 5th grade have gone through losing 2 of their students.
For my friend Cheryl, one of her students, a girl was in the house with her other siblings along with a cousin. The 7yr old cousin was playing with a lighter and the house caught on fire and they were all trapped and died. It was so sad!
My girlfriend Margie's student (7yr old) girl last year was visiting her father and because the mother wouldn't accept the father back in her life he shot his dtr with a shotgun in the mouth and took his life. My girlfriend hasn't gotten over that yet.
It takes alot to be a teacher because you become your children's surrogate mom. Alot of children are going through difficulties in the home; so when they come to school that is their comfort zone. You will find some of kids that may cling to you more than others because some are not getting the love that they need at home.
Marissa, you will experience all types of situations with your children and you will be their support line because you are a beautiful person.
