Help

Hello,
I just started on this website, but my friend used this website as a tool throughout her whole engagement. I just got engaged in September. My fiance and I booked a friday night wedding for a little less than two years from now, we are both the youngest of our families, so as you can imagine we have many nieces and nephews, 11 to be exact. We made a decision not have the kids at our wedding at all, due to the fact that there are too many and we can not choose between our siblings kids. We discussed it with our parents and they agreed with us. We told my three siblings with kids and they were fine with it and actually happy with the decision because they could enjoy themselves. His one sister said no problem and was happy about it also. His other sister made a huge scene, made me cry, turned it all on me, telling me I am excluding family that worship my fiance. Well with this, I just folded and said do whatever you want, and mean while she wants to bring a tv to my reception and hire a babysitter, so why are we having them anyway. I spoke to my fiance and we asked everyone again if they wanted to bring their kids and noone wants to bring their kids, they are all coming to the church and going home, except for her. His mother even was against it. He knows how upset I am and he is upset also that his sister would do this to him and he was the one who originally said no anyway. So we decided against the kids again and we are sticking with it because to be honest, i dont think it is fair that only 3 out the 11 kids can go because their mother made a stink about it. We know whenever we tell her, it is going to be a big fight, the question is when do we tell her, we have alot of time. My wedding is one week short of 2 years away. I feel bad over the fact that she is going to be hurt but on the same token we both feel it is our wedding, and we are paying for it and we should do what we want, and she should support us considering she and her husband are in the wedding party.
Please tell me someone can help me.
Thanks!

Listen it's your day! Your FSIL is being selfish. I have been invited to plenty of weddings without my tribe and I have never once been annoyed it's your preference. As a matter of fact my FHs' cousin is getting married in January and kids are not invited. Let her know now that it's not going to happen and if she has a problem with it there are plenty of people who would be willing to take her place in the BP and at the wedding. Dont stress over this you have 2years of stress ahead just planning your wedding you don't need to be bothered with selfish people. Besides in 2years she might come around and be glad for a night out alone.

Stick to your guns, whatever you do, DO NOT CHANGE YOUR MIND! You have his mother behind you, this is important. FSIL sounds selfish and jealous-don't let her bother you, there is (at least) one in EVERY family. She will get used to it over the next 2 years, I promise....

Focus on yourselves, she sounds like the type of person who would NEVER be happy no matter what you did and would find a way to bi+ch about something.

you are doing the right thing - hold your head high and focus on YOU and YOUR wedding!

if you chose NO KIDS, then no kids....she just doesn't want to pay a sitter. We chose to have kids at our wedding, but it was a DAY wedding. If she wants a sitter at the wedding, SHE can pay for it....tell her that since it's only her kids. And tell her if she wants that sitter to eat, then SHE is paying for the plate of food!!!

NO means NO and if your parents agree and they are paying for it.....that's it!

I feel your pain girl!! I was in a similar situation as you with my cousin. She has 3 boys that have direct blood lines to the dev!l himself. We decided against having children at our reception and she made a big stink. As hurt as I was, I stood my ground. She blasted me, she talked about me behind my back, and then she went so far as to tell everyone she wasnt going. So I confronted her and said I heard she had some stong opinions on our decision. At first she seemed suprised that I confronted her, but then she went on to say that if they cant go, then neither was she. I said I was sorry to hear that, but that I respected her decision not to go . My response floored her. I havent heard a peep from her about it. Stand strong because its your wedding!!!!!!

Please repeat - THIS IS OUR WEDDING. WE WILL DO WHAT WE WANT. Please, please, please stick to your guns!! If there is anything I learned from this planning process, it is that those people who fight you the hardest on your wedding plans are doing it out of their own insecurity, and their own desire to be top dog and in control. You both are doing nothing wrong. If you let this woman control your wedding, she will control holidays, family gatherings, etc. Please do not give her the opening. I am not trying to be dramatic, but I have learned the very hard way that the family bullies come out fighting on big days like this. Don't let her push you around. Good luck!!!

You should definitely stand your ground, especially since FI also doesn't want children.

I would make everything clear now, though. Even though you have a lot of time, the closer it gets to the wedding, the more difficult it will be. Get it out of the way now. That way, she can let off all her steam now and not closer to the wedding. Also, maybe FMIL can talk to her.

We are not having kids. We can't. Between us we have 15 nephews and 4 nieces. Cousins..forget it..theres about 10 under 15. We simply stated to all family members when planning the wedding, there were no kids under 16 invited. Especially because ( we made a point of this) our reception ends at 1:00 am...who wants to drag their kids out? No-one objected and mainly because they wanted to have fun without the kids. I'm surprised you are having this issue, but since everyone else agrees, just stick your guns and she will get over it. Hopefully sooner rather then later.