HELP!-and vent (in-laws...the saga continues)

Today was FBIL's b-day. FH and went over for cake. First of all, FMIL totally ignored me. When I said hello to her when we first came in she just looked away and ignored me. She then took her piece of cake and walked out of the room. Everyone told me it was not me, but she is still upset at FH about that stupid piece of plastic clock (gimme a break!). Then someone asked FH's sister is she was going to our wedding...she said 'I DON'T KNOW'. Uh, this girl's supposed to be IN the wedding!!! She probably knew I was upset about this and she would not even look at me.
Now, I am getting ready to give my BM's their 'special notes' and I am having doubts about having this girl be a BM. Yes, it's in 2 years...and this may blow over...but there is always something. What if after I spend money on a bo-k, hair, and makeup for her her mother decides she is upset at FH about some other trivial thing and pulls her out (she will only be 15)? I really don't want this to be another way of emotional blackmail! I don't want FH to get hurt, I don't want to spend money on someone who is not going to be there, and to be honest...this hurts me too. I don't know what to do anymore . I try to keep my heart open because of who they are to FH, but everytime they do things like this it gets harder and harder.
I am sorry to vent. I don't know what to do. Should I ask her to be a BM? She does not seem to be too enthusiastic about it and God only knows if they will show up.

can you wait it out a little and see if things 'blow over' and then ask her to be a BM?

so much drama
I know exactly what you are going through ever since we said we were getting married drama just keeps popping up EVERYWHERE

i dont know the WHOLE background of what happened but maybe hold off for now and see what happens... sounds like FSIL is mimicking MIL probably because she is so young... FH i think should talk to his mother to try to work thins out now so that you dont have to keep worrying about it
-tami

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Posted by MamanDaddyof2

so much drama
I know exactly what you are going through ever since we said we were getting married drama just keeps popping up EVERYWHERE

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I HEAR THAT!!! people who i thought were the most docile have turned into demons!!!

It's just so hard sometimes. I come from such a close-knit family and I don't know how to deal with this. The thing is that FH does try so hard to get a good relationship w/ his mother. I know this hurts him. I try to make them feel as though they are a part of my family...I try so hard.

Unfortunately this type of thing is constant (and fortunately, FH is not a product of this...he is nothing like them). If it's not now, it will be then. I'd say about every 3 or 4 months something happens. I would like to say yes, I'll wait it out. But how can I trust someone who is willing to boycot her eldest son's wedding and pull her daughter out of the wedding party over a broken plastic clock that is worth $3.00?