Help! Dont know what to do

soontoobemrsk Posted: Oct 26, 2008 09:08 PM

Help! Dont know what to do

So I have a really big dilemna. I have two choices in halls. Both have the same positives and each has one negative.

The First Choice - Negative: Located in the Hudson Valley (2 hours from my house and have to go through the city=traffic to get there). Would have to either travel there all the time to meet with each vendor or book vendors here and have them travel there (this will add a lot of expense.

The Second Choice - Negative: His parents are kosher. We would be able to bring in a kosher caterer, but the wine would have to be non-kosher bc it would be at a vineyard. The kosher caterer would be allowed to bring in kosher beer and alcohol.

Which do you think I should go with and why?

TIA!

SummerBride10 Posted: Oct 26, 2008 09:14 PM

Re: Help! Dont know what to do

The second choice sounds like it would be easier to work with. As long as you can bring in all your own food thats kosher, you should be fine. If you book the hall thats 2 hours away it seems like it would cause you more aggravation in the end!

jewels25 Posted: Oct 26, 2008 09:15 PM

Re: Help! Dont know what to do

The second choice is much more convenient. Thats what I would do.

LeeAnne Posted: Oct 26, 2008 09:22 PM

Re: Help! Dont know what to do

i would choose the send and avoid all the travel

MsPotterhead Posted: Oct 26, 2008 09:22 PM

Re: Help! Dont know what to do

I agree with the above ladies, if you like them the same.
I think vineyard weddings are beautiful!

soontoobemrsk Posted: Oct 26, 2008 09:24 PM

Re: Help! Dont know what to do

I think I agree but how am I going to tell his parents that there is going to be non-kosher wine there?

KiTTeN0819 Posted: Oct 26, 2008 09:26 PM

Re: Help! Dont know what to do

Posted by soontoobemrsk

I think I agree but how am I going to tell his parents that there is going to be non-kosher wine there?

Is it possible to look for another place that has everything your looking for? I see you have some time.

meara Posted: Oct 26, 2008 09:26 PM

Re: Help! Dont know what to do

Will they be really upset if it is there? Sometimes people are okay as long as they can still be kosher. Are they paying for it?

soontoobemrsk Posted: Oct 26, 2008 09:30 PM

Re: Help! Dont know what to do

We dont want to have it at a temple. Traditional catering halls arent really my thing but I'd be willing to go with it. The problem is that there are very few that offer kosher (that are in our budget). And the ones that let you bring in an outside caterer charge an arm and a leg for the venue. Also, we dont even meet the minimums at most catering halls (having a VERY small 50-70 person wedding) and dont want it during the week when minimums are lower.

His parents are paying for part of it, but I look at it like, they can eat and have alcohol while being kosher. Its not like anyones forcing them to drink the wine. Its just a requirement at a vineyard.

Idk, I'm so confused.

meara Posted: Oct 26, 2008 09:47 PM

Re: Help! Dont know what to do

Posted by soontoobemrsk

We dont want to have it at a temple. Traditional catering halls arent really my thing but I'd be willing to go with it. The problem is that there are very few that offer kosher (that are in our budget). And the ones that let you bring in an outside caterer charge an arm and a leg for the venue. Also, we dont even meet the minimums at most catering halls (having a VERY small 50-70 person wedding) and dont want it during the week when minimums are lower.

His parents are paying for part of it, but I look at it like, they can eat and have alcohol while being kosher. Its not like anyones forcing them to drink the wine. Its just a requirement at a vineyard.

Idk, I'm so confused.

IMO this is fine. my step mother is kosher so we were considering having at her and my dads place but didnt want to deal with ALL the vendors being kosher so decided to have it elsewhere - I think if you were having it at their home or something you would be obligated to do it all kosher but as you aren't - if there is kosher food, and kosher wine available - I don't think it's a big deal as long as it is clear which is which. .. I might just be honest with them and tell them your issue - and that it's a requirement of the vineyard. . .

KittyGags Posted: Oct 27, 2008 01:02 AM

Re: Help! Dont know what to do

I think the Royalton does kosher weddings? Check that out?

JSG10506 Posted: Oct 27, 2008 01:20 AM

Re: Help! Dont know what to do

I think that it would benefit you a lot more to go with the hall that's closer to your home, just simply because with the planning and everything, it'll end up being less stress on you.

soontoobemrsk Posted: Oct 27, 2008 08:14 AM

Re: Help! Dont know what to do

Posted by KittyGags

I think the Royalton does kosher weddings? Check that out?

We have....unfortunately, they are wayyyy out of our buget.

mokie74m Posted: Oct 27, 2008 09:15 AM

Re: Help! Dont know what to do

I vote for the second choice. It sounds like less hassle for you and not as expensive.

SB7308 Posted: Oct 27, 2008 09:48 AM

Re: Help! Dont know what to do

The second choice.

We brought in kosher meals to our wedding (for 20 people). I'm sure you could do the same. Some of my family/friends are orthodox and didn't have a problem with non kosher meals there, some on the other hand, would not stay past the ceremony b/c it was non kosher (thats a whole other vent).

Traveling 2 hours seems like it will be a hassle plus you will have to go several times. Waste of gas.

emeraldlover Posted: Oct 27, 2008 10:14 AM

Re: Help! Dont know what to do

Just some advice from a Hudson Valley Bride. I am finding some challenges but I am also planning my wedding for next Sept. in the Catskills which is 2 and a half from the city and I'm not having a problem. I've only been up to the location twice. There is a lot of planning that we can do from here.

I'm telling you this because my fiance and I looked at almost every winery on LI as my finace is from the east end and it was much more cost effective to have the wedding that we wanted in HV. It takes a little more time to find some vendors but you can do it. You don't necessarily need to go there to visit with all of them. However you can book apts. for the same weekend go visit and make your decisions that way. If the Kosher requirement is a big deal, which I assume is the case then I would go where they will meet that requirement first and figure the planning from there. There are a lot of good vendors in HV.

Hope that helps some.

Christeen320 Posted: Oct 27, 2008 10:53 AM

Re: Help! Dont know what to do

my advise is that if the first choice hall is only an inconvenience to you and no one else, then maybe go with that one...but if youre expecting all your guests to drive 2 hours out of the way too then maybe its a little too out of the way not just for you but for everyone involved. and if it is that far from everyone or most...then i would go with choice number 2...the wine thing is only an inconvinience to 2 people...and its not really that much of an inconvieniece at all. i dont know how the kosher traditions work but is there nothing else they can drink?? or will not having wine really ruin their entire evening?? i think that they will be ok with it..sometimes things just dont work out...i think they will be understanding!! orrrr instead if adding crazy stress to you own life just ask them how big of an issue it really will be...and then make your decision based on that!! GOOD LUCKKKKKKK!!! and congrats on the wedding!!!