Help! I'm having a Problem (LONG)

Help! I'm having a Problem (LONG)

I'm a frequent user of this website and wanted to put this post under a fake name as I feel bad about what I'm going to write. I don't know where to begin but I'll start by saying that I have 2 MOH's. One is my older sister and the other is my best friend. The reason why I did this is because my sister and I do not have a positive relationship in the least. She has a lot of emotional problems and has been seeking help for over a year, but it's obviously not helping or I wouldn't be writing this. She has always been very jealous of me and flips out at any small thing. When I got engaged, she was not at all happy for me as she is single and as one friend of her's put it 'she's in mourning' over it. She has been negative about the whole wedding thing from the start and my mom made me ask her to be my MOH since she is my sister. Well I decided it was either going to just be my Best Friend or both of them, so I chose both to make my family happy. My best friend has been wonderful as well as my BM's but my sister is so mean to me all of the time. My mom said it's b/c she's hurt b/c I'm having two MOH's, but she's always been like this. I don't even want to be around her b/c most of the time she's screaming at me calling me a BI*** for no reason. When I talk to her about it, she denies that she ever does it. I've asked her to help me with wedding stuff and she says she's busy and then after I've booked something she says I shouldn't have picked that, etc. There have been so many times that I've wanted to fire her especially when she fights with me for no reason. I don't know what to do. My mom of course says I shouldn't fire her, but she is being horrible lately. I've tried to talk about it with her but she won't acknowledge that she does anything. I can never talk about wedding stuff with her b/c I know that it upsets her, but how is she going to act at the wedding. She's been a BM for her friends and is always so helpful and positive and one BM dress was $280 and she is complaining to me about the $150 dresses I am looking at. She also says the $280 dress was under $200 but my mom told me the truth. We went BM dress shopping and there was one dress that I and my other MOH loved and my sister hated it. Well I decided to put it in the final dresses for the rest of the BM to choose from and called her to tell her that I want it to be one of the options for the other BM. She totally flipped out. What do I do????

Help! I`m having a Problem (LONG)

This is a very difficult situation and I am soooo sorry that you are in the middle of this. Your sister is obviously unable to handle your wedding plans, for either mental illness or jealousy reasons. Perhaps you could suggest that you go with you to one of her therapy sessions and speak to her doctor about her behavior. She may not allow that though. I think at this point she has made it very clear that she does not want to be a MOH. Speak to your Mom and explain to her that your sister's behavior is ruining this special time for you. It is not fair to put you in the middle of this. I can understand that your Mom wants to keep peace and she is probably very worried about your sister. BUT she also needs to keep in mind that this constant fighting and name calling is hurting you. Sit down with your sister, tell her that you love her, and want her to be a part of your plans. Then tell her that you also need her support and help. If she starts yelling, then just tell her 'I am sorry that you feel this way.' I would not officialy 'fire' your sister, but just take away any input and responsiblities you have given her. Make the decisions, ask your other friends for help. Have your best friend walk down the aisle right before you and help you at the altar. Your sister will just have to deal with her own sadness since she is not tallking to you about it.

Help! I`m having a Problem (LONG)

Wow-I really feel for you. Does your mother acknowledge this behaviour at all? Does she even see it? Is your sister younger or older?
I want to say..but could be wrong, that your mother should really step up and help you. If she sees this going on, she should intervene and speak to your sister. This is supposed to be a wonderful time in your life and the worst thing is an unsupportive and difficult family member.
It`s so wonderful that your other MOH is being so helpful-this type of thing really is an indication of who your real friends are. You sound like a fair and reasonable bride as well as a sister who is very giving.
My thoughts are with you!!

Help! I`m having a Problem (LONG)

I dont know if youve read any of my recent posts, but in case you didnt ill fill you in.. My sister is the EXACT same way,, I asked her because of my parents and plus because i felt if we got along years down the road i would be sorry.. BIG MISTAKE.. she ruined everything every chance she got, she (i think) is jealous cause her boyfriend is not asking her to marry in the near future,, She HAD to have a different dress than te other girls so i said ok, (even though i didnt want to do that) but if it made her happy maybe that was a start WRONG AGAIN.. the dress came in and she freaked out at the bridal store and said it was discusting..i felt embarrassed to go back after her outburst..She fought with everyone, was always miserable, and always turned it around to my mom that i was being difficult.. well i didnt get married (so much stress constant fighting with FH) Now im doing it again and i WILL NOT ask her to be in it at all..I speak from experience when i say RECIND the offer.. You may feel bad about that but not as bad as youll feel the rest of the time you are planning your wedding.. this should be fun,, and it will if you ask her to 'come as a guest' butif you keep her, your memories of planning your wedding will be nothing you want to remember.. I wish you luck and i hope you figure this out,,

Help! I`m having a Problem (LONG)

This is horrible but you need to put your foot down now. This is your wedding day and you can't let your sisters negative attitude spoil your special day. It is unfortunate that she acts this way but that is nto your problem. You should not feel guilted into anything by your parents. You have just cause to feel the way you do know matter what anyone else tells you and the bottom line is... this is YOUR and you FH day so don't let anyone ruin that.
Good Luck!!!!!