So I'm relatively new to this site and I desperately need some help.
My fiancé and I got engaged in September and booked a hall immediately (CHCC) for September 2007.
The problem is I've been reveling in the whole being engaged thing and haven't gotten much else accomplished. My fiancé still lives in Florida and isn't moving up until end of January (we met in college and I moved back) and I don't even know how to begin planning our wedding when he isn't even here!!!!!!
On top of all that, my family is driving me nuts!! My mother thinks it's the most wonderful (and easiest) thing in the world to plan a wedding. She does not seem to understand that I work long days, have a horrible commute, miss my fiancé and am just overwhelmed. I don't even know where to begin but I'm slowly becoming more terrified.
Every time I sit down and try to narrow down some vendors, John (fiancé) thinks that everything is horribly expensive and that I'm being unreasonable. I really tried to scout out prices but every time I bring up a vendor he asks the price and then lectures me on how we have to save up for him to move to NYC. We really don't have too much of a savings but I've got a good job and I don't want to compromise so much that it waters down my wedding day. My parents are paying for the reception hall so really all we have to pay is the vendors,
You girls are all so good to each other. I thought you may have some advice for me. What do I do? Where do I start? I'm really ready to postpone the whole thing.
Tria1110
Posted:
Member since
Re: Help! I'm new and overwhelmed.
First of all... take a deep breath. I work more than full time and was able to get engaged, plan a wedding & get married in 10 months. So you can do it! Second, your FH is probably just not use to NY prices. So get three quotes for everything to show him this is just what it costs. Thirdly, rely on the reviews posted. I did and had wondeful experiences with my vendors.
Welcome & Good Luck!
EverlovingEv
Posted:
Member since
Re: Help! I'm new and overwhelmed.
Hey there, A few things:
1) Breathe girly! 2) We have the same first name 3) Figure out a budget and try to stick to it when looking at vendors. You need to have an exact number in your mind when you look at vendors. If one proves to be too expensive, tell them this and they might be able to recommend someone cheaper. 4) We're here if you have any more questions 5) Enjoy the planning process, it really is fun once it gets going 6) Jan is right around the corner, FI will be here in no time!
CONGRATS AND WELCOME!
cindyandkevin
Posted:
Member since
Re: Help! I'm new and overwhelmed.
First, congrats on your engagement!!!
Now, it IS overwhelming to plan a wedding, no matter what your situation is. Try not to become too stressed out and just take things one step at a time.
You've got your RH booked, that's a great start. You're doing fine timewise so don't think you're behind on anything. You need to sit down with your FH (you can do this over the phone) and come up with a reasonable budget. Do some shopping and make sure he knows that these are average vendors here in NY, things aren't so expensive in FL and he has to understand that.
Once you have a budget you can break everything down as to how much you want to spend on each vendor. There are many things that you can make yourself and you'll get a lot of those DIY ideas from this site, that will help to cut down on costs.
Try to take it easy and don't be afraid to ask us for help, that's what we're here for!!!
shellnroc
Posted:
Member since
Re: Help! I'm new and overwhelmed.
Congratulations!!!!!
Planning a wedding can be extremely stressful.
You need to take a step back and try to relax, I know it's easier said then done. But, worrying about so much at once is not good for you.
What worked for me was writing everything down that you want to accomplish in a given week. As you finish each thing check it off. Try not to overwhelm yourself with too much at once.
It will all get done and you will have the wedding of your dreams.
Good Luck!!!!!! Happy planning!!!!
Eva-and-John 07
Posted:
Member since
Re: Help! I'm new and overwhelmed.
Thanks girls!!!
In retrospect I was just having a mini meltdown. I'm actually really excited to get the planning going.
The good news is I found my twin!!!!! We're getting married at CHCC the same day!
I'm so glad I met her here and not day of! I might've freaked that day but now I'm really excited to have someone to share this planning experience with.
Also FH and I had a long talk about the planning process and I think we dealt with a lot of important issues.
The most exciting news is that I booked an appointment for Klienfeld's this Saturday. It'll be my first time trying on a wedding dress!!!! I'm more than a little excited.
Thanks again girls!!!!!
kittythestray
Posted:
Member since
Re: Help! I'm new and overwhelmed.
Posted by Eva-and-John 07
The most exciting news is that I booked an appointment for Klienfeld's this Saturday. It'll be my first time trying on a wedding dress!!!! I'm more than a little excited.
Thanks again girls!!!!!
Now THAT is exciting!!!! I went to Kleinfelds first and they had EVERY dress I wanted to try on and more - I found my dress there. It was like the 20th one I tried on. Have FUN and if you find a dress you love make sure you look in the dress to see the designer so you can look it up on the internet and see a picture of it again! After I left I couldn't remember the name of the dress and I hated that I couldn't look at it again!
sunflower13
Posted:
Member since
Re: Help! I'm new and overwhelmed.
Congratulations....you can do this !!! it is hard but you cant let it overwhelm you. It sounds like you have alot on you being the one here in NY and trying to make decisions with your FH over the phone. You have plenty of time. Since your parents are nicely paying for the RH you and FH are taking care of the vendors. We are in the same situation. FH and I are trying to save for a house so we want to have both. We know our wedding will be 5 hours of our lives and a house we will have for much longer. We sat down and decided how much we could spend and then broke that amount down further to each vendor. We stuck to it too...if one thing we book edended up being less we would add that money to something else. WE actually saved on a few things and they ended up being less than we allotted so we actually can have a DOC now. Most things you can inquire about over the phone so you don't have to waste your time running around and meeting with people out of your budget. Good Luck and try to enjoy it...even though it is really stressful sometimesit will all be worth it on your special day.
Eva-and-John 07
Posted:
Member since
Re: Help! I'm new and overwhelmed.
wow... you're the first person I've heard of that spent less money than anticipated
Now's that encouraging!!!!
Thanks!
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: Help! I'm new and overwhelmed.
awww I know it can be overwhelming. Don't worry you will figure it all out. With vendors, find out who the recommended vendors are for your reception site, check them out and see if you like them. Go to a bridal show around that area and this way you can meet with vendors and see first hand who you would be interested in.
Take it one step at a time. Pick which vendors you want to book first. So first maybe try looking at photographers, then do florists and so on. Look on this site to check vendor reviews and see who fits your style the most, who is within your budget and so on. Anytime you have questions or need help with something just come on here and ask and you will get lots of help. Good luck
cjb88
Posted:
Member since
Re: Help! I'm new and overwhelmed.
wedding planning definitely has its ups and downs... it gets better, it gets worse, it gets dramatic, and sometimes it is even fun! Men dont seem to always understand the cost of things... especially if your FH is in Fla... things are a lot more expensive up here... when we were planning i tried to do one vendor a month and tackle it that way... i researched each vendor as much as i could to make sure i was getting the best price for what we wanted... good luck!
p.s are you and your fh gators? you mentioned that you went to college in Fla and it looks like in your avatar picture you are wearing UF shirts... if so, i am a gator too!!
snydl40
Posted:
Member since
Re: Help! I'm new and overwhelmed.
Congratulations and Welcome! 1.) This is supposed to be fun. Don't let anyone impede your judgement-this day only happens once and although we want to get the best deals, you don't want to comprimise your gut instincts.
2.) I would meet with different vendors and when you find your favorite-ask them if they can match the price of a competing vendor.
3.) Explain to your FH that it is A LOT more $$ to get married on LI, but that you are doing your best to find vendors you can afford.
4.) Do it Yourself (DYIs). You can make centerpieces, invites, have family or friends do video, photo. Recruit people to give you a hand with everything and research everything.
5.) Have a great time planning-try not to let anyone get you upset-although someone will.
Eva-and-John 07
Posted:
Member since
Re: Help! I'm new and overwhelmed.
Posted by cjb88
p.s are you and your fh gators? you mentioned that you went to college in Fla and it looks like in your avatar picture you are wearing UF shirts... if so, i am a gator too!!
We are!! That pics from Fla/Ga this year.
I never thought I would meet a fellow Gator up here, not to mention a fellow LI bride Gator.
Go Gators!!!!
NovemberBride07
Posted:
Member since
Re: Help! I'm new and overwhelmed.
Hi Eva! 1st, congrats on your engagement!
My FH lives in FL too...he's been living there for about a 1 1/2 now.........long distance relationships bite! We got engaged here in NY this past August. and have only seen him twice since. I booked my RH within a month and the rest followed shortly after.......I booked everything by myself. I met with every single vendor by myself. The ONLY thing FH booked with me was the DJ, and that was becuz I dragged him there.......I'm trying my best to stay within our budget. It does make things easier if FH is there to go with you to meet the vendors, its hard to translate the vibe you get when you meet them, but try your hardest to get as much info as possible and get more than one quote.....
I work full time during the week and go to pastry school on the weekends. on top of that, I work here and there in restaurants in the city. What's worse, I'm not seeing my honey until my graduation in January. Thank goodness its just after New Year's! I'M SO STRESSED OUT, I literally have no time to myself.....always on the go. any spare moment, I'm on the internet scoping out ideas for my wedding, surfing LIW, etc......
I know exactly how you feel, BUT you can do this. Its extremely tough, I know, but you will get it done.
FM me anytime.....we're in the same boat babe...
okay, now I'm sad.......miss my honey.......
jaiese
Posted:
Member since
Re: Help! I'm new and overwhelmed.
Everything will be okay. I had a similar panic attack after I first got engaged. I signed up for theknot.com and they calculated a budget for me, and gave me a timeline of what needs to get done and by when. LIW may have this too, but I haven't checked. brides.com has this service too. Theirs lets you tweak the numbers on a sliding scale so that you can choose to spend more on some things and less on others. I've only booked my site so far, but have been looking at dresses, photogs, florists and officiants and am learning that everything comes in a wide range of prices. I'm sure you'll be able to find everything you need and fit within your budget.
