Recently my mother and I have been at it because I don't want to get married at her home church, which is far from the reception hall. I recently found a beautiful stain glass church that I really love and I would like to be married in. My mother is making statements like ' I don't care about her opinion' and 'what she says doesn't matter', but that is not the case. My mother finds it unfair that I don't want to have the ceremony at her church. However, the church I chose is closer to the reception hall, it's alot more imitate and I think it will be beautiful for pictures.
So tell me ladies am I being unfair? Isn't it about the bride and what she wants?
Butterflybride
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Re: Help me ladies I am going to scream....
Posted by Soon2BMrsWilliams
Recently my mother and I have been at it because I don't want to get married at her home church, which is far from the reception hall. I recently found a beautiful stain glass church that I really love and I would like to be married in. My mother is making statements like ' I don't care about her opinion' and 'what she says doesn't matter', but that is not the case. My mother finds it unfair that I don't want to have the ceremony at her church. However, the church I chose is closer to the reception hall, it's alot more imitate and I think it will be beautiful for pictures.
So tell me ladies am I being unfair? Isn't it about the bride and what she wants?
You're not being unfair at all! It's your day!
d&d05
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Re: Help me ladies I am going to scream....
She should understand that it's your day! You should be able to do whatever you want.
randella
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Re: Help me ladies I am going to scream....
Sit her down and tell her this is what you really want.. Bring her to the church and say- look how beautiful it is..
Remember, the day is about your wedding and should be special and meaningful BUT you are still planning an event and should think about the logistics.
DebMaher
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Re: Help me ladies I am going to scream....
JPC1125
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Re: Help me ladies I am going to scream....
I think she should be happy that youre still getting married ina church- i know if my grandmother were alive she would not come cause she said she woudl do that for my mom too- who wante dto get married in an episcopal church when she was a catholic
People are still old fashioned and you should convey to her that at least its still a religious ceremony
Bunnymonkey
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Re: Help me ladies I am going to scream....
Make sure you are communicating honestly and openly. I found I ws having problems with my mom about guest lists and things, and she was acting immature (which she is) throughout it-it turned into a big 'brat' game. As soon as I sat down like an adult and said 'okay, mom, let's talk' she was forced to act like an adult and gave in.
bluetank
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Re: Help me ladies I am going to scream....
Its your day so just sit her down and tell her how you feel. It doesnt take anything away from the ceremony just because it is at another church. I hope she understands.
unicorn1178
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Re: Help me ladies I am going to scream....
I could understand if you were deeply religious and you were 'going against her' by chosing a different church. But all in all, it is still your day and like you said it is her church, not yours. You should have the right to have your ceremony wherever you feel most comfortable. She will understand!
Soon2BMrsWilliams
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Re: Help me ladies I am going to scream....
Thanks Ladies for all your great advice
May05Bride
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Re: Help me ladies I am going to scream....
I don't think you are being unfair. Perhaps, its more than just the church? Some mothers find it difficult to let go - sometimes manifesting their feelings into trying to control the situation, the bride and everything else - getting offended at the bride when another way is chose.
My mother did the same thing (in other respects). Every time I disagreed, it was like I was going against her.
Just a thought
Soon2BMrsWilliams
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Re: Help me ladies I am going to scream....
This is exactly how it is. She feels like every suggestion she makes I am going against her but that is far from the truth. Maybe it is because she doesn't want to let go.
Thanks May05Bride
Bebalina
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Re: Help me ladies I am going to scream....
Your day...your way..... end of story.
justshir
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Re: Help me ladies I am going to scream....
you're the bride so you should do what you want (to some degree). in this case, your reasons are valid. is it the church itself she wants you to get married in or is it the minister? if your mom's reason(s) doesn't seem to amount up to your's then go with what you want. just try to compromise on other stuff if you can afford to. good luck with this. dealing with relatives is a touchy subject. don't blame you for stressing.
CubanBride
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Re: Help me ladies I am going to scream....
It may be your day, but if your mother is paying, these are the type of things that are going to happen. Howver, if she is not paying, then she needs to shut it becuase she really has no say.
LadyPrincess
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Re: Help me ladies I am going to scream....
We love our parents but i stick to my motto
Your Day - Your Way
JMO
jonsgirl
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Re: Help me ladies I am going to scream....
exactly. she already had her wedding!! its your day and you have to make her realize that in years to come you want to look back on it and have everything be special and meaningful to you and your FH - not everyone else.
