Help me stop my over-bearing mother...

I have my florist appointment tomorrow night, and I'm taking my mom and Matron of Honor.

This is the only portion of the wedding, aside from my gown, that my mother is involved in, because she is paying for it.

Let me preface this by saying that FH family is paying for the balance of the hall that we can't make, which could be a substantial amount, but they never ever asked to be a part of any of the planning, choosing etc.

My mother is going to come tomorrow night, and insist upon certain things that I just know I don't want, and is a very opinionated, very forceful personality. She fancies yelling a lot, and she also likes to make me feel stupid when the opportunity presents itself. I am so afraid right now, of this appointment turning into world war 3, due to her inability to trust or understand anything that I want to do.

How do I go about not letting an ulcer form tonight and tomorrow, in anticipation of this possible disaster?

Try to think positive thoughts i hope your appointment is a success keep us posted

Call ahead explain to the person you're working with/ don't be embarrased, they've heard it all before. Let your Mom have her way-then call the florist or go back alone & make your changes. Your Mom may not even realize changes were made by the time the day comes.

Or you can tell her out-right that she doesn't get to make design decisions because she's paying.

I know it can be very frustrating. I would talk to your mom before you go. Let her voice her opinion. It doesn't mean you have to agree with it.

I know it may not seem like it now but you will be happy that you got to share things with your mom. There are girls on here that would love to have their moms be around to nag them about everything!!!

Take deep breaths and remember you will get to make the final decision.

Believe me Jen, I am very thankful to have my parents here to help me through this. And I would never ever take it for granted.

I know what's happening is natural, but it doesn't make it any less frustrating. I guess I will just go in knowing that I do have the final say...and try to keep an even temper when doing it.

I just can't wait until all this big stuff is behind me!

Wow! I would suggest that you tell your mom before you even get to the florist that you have your own ideas and that you appreciate her input, but you expect her to understand that this is your wedding and your opinions must be respected. Stay strong, don't let your mother push you around. She does not have your best interest at heart is she disregards your thoughts and causes you this amount of stress! If she really cannot tone it down, I would take Richsbride's suggestion: inform the florist of your situation and call and alter your order to fit your taste after you leave.
I honestly think it is unacceptable for your mother to disregard your opinion when it is your wedding, regardless of who is paying. If it were me I would tell her that although I appreciate her generosity, having no control over choices for my own wedding is simply not worth it. If she sees how serious you are aobut this, maybe she will lighten up!
Good luck.

Dont sweat it, just be firm and explain to your mom that although you welcome her opinion, you have your dreams too and you will have the final say.

Good luck sweetie

I agree with both Jenhos & Rich's Bride.
Good Luck

I think Richsbride has a good idea. It might be good to forwarn the florist.

I also think you need to speak to your mom and tell her how you feel, but try to be clam and firm about it. I have realized that this is the best way to deal with overbearing people.

You could respond to her suggestions with 'thats a good idea, I will consider it'.

As a last resort if you speak to your mom and she still tries to run the show, leave the store and tell her that the offer to pay for flowers does not entitle her to choose them.

Good luck

Maybe she'll surprise you?? My mother can be the same way sometimes - second guesses every decision I make sort of thing. But when it came to meeting with the florist she was amazingly quiet and only asked normal non-provoking questions.

I hope it all goes well for you

Thanks ladies.

I'll let you know how things turn out. I'm trying to be very optimistic!

If they are too expensive, we might be on the same side.