I'm having a big (literally) problem with my choice for ring-bearer. My fiance and I have no little kids on either side. The closest is my cousin who is now 10 and will be almost 12 at the wedding. I haven't even asked yet and he's already saying he doesn't want to be ring-bearer cause he's too old and he doesn't want to carry a fluffy white pillow. I though a reasonable alternative would be to call him a Junior Usher and let him carry the rings in a box. I know he's old for it, but I really wanted to include him in the wedding. Anybody have problems like this? Suggestions????
Kelly9904
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Re: Help! My cousin doesn't want to be 'ring-bearer'!
I think thats a good idea. Honestly he doesnt even have to carry the rings. Most of the weddings I have been to even if there was a ring bearer, they had fake rings tied to the pillow.
jvs77
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Re: Help! My cousin doesn't want to be 'ring-bearer'!
My 12 yr. old cousins will be a Junior Bridesmaid and Junior Groomsman. There's no rule that says you have to have a ring bearer. You can just have your cousin as a Juinor Groomsman/Usher. I think typically, the ring bearer is very young, and carries fake rings. The Best Man is typically supposed to hold onto the real rings.
BMD'sPeanut
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Re: Help! My cousin doesn't want to be 'ring-bearer'!
Don't worry about it right now. If he doesn't want to be in it don't push him. Talk to his parents first... Talk to him! Tell him you want him to be involved...Ask him what he might like to do. But if he doesn't respond, put it away for a while...Bring it up closer to the date. Are you in a position to have his parents demand that he be in it? Think about how miserable everyone might be if you force a kid to do something he's not comfortable with. Good Luck! My Junior usher cried when we asked him. Only because he really didn't know what it meant...So we'll wait a while before we approach the subject again!
btrflygrl
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Re: Help! My cousin doesn't want to be 'ring-bearer'!
ring attendant junior attendant junior groomsman
ChristineC68
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Re: Help! My cousin doesn't want to be 'ring-bearer'!
I think 12 is a bit old to be a RB too. I think a JR Usher would be perfect! Is he ok with that?
Kra5hnburn
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Re: Help! My cousin doesn't want to be 'ring-bearer'!
Does a junior groomsman/usher walk down the aisle?
NYCMeghan
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Re: Help! My cousin doesn't want to be 'ring-bearer'!
maybe he'd be more comfortable handing out programs? Or maybe he could be designated as 'family photographer' and give him a polaroid camera to document the wedding from his perspective. If he is particularly shy it might be too much to ask him to be in the wedding party. Most little kids are clueless - its the 10-14 year olds who feel self conscious about things like being up in front of a crowd.
Why not ask him what he would like to do? That's what I did with my younger cousin.
PrincessRose
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Re: Help! My cousin doesn't want to be 'ring-bearer'!
I went through the same thing. My cousin Jamie is going to be 11 for the wedding, and I really wanted to involve him, especially since his little sister, who will be 8, is going to be the flower girl. So I asked him to be a junior groomsman. I don't know if he totally gets what this means (he's never been to a wedding before), but we'll see. All he really needs to do is look cute in pictures, walk down the aisle and escort his sister back up.
jenny2penny
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Re: Help! My cousin doesn't want to be 'ring-bearer'!
I like the Jr groomsman, or ring attendant and have him carry the ring in a box is much for fitting. make sure he does not walk with a flower girl, or he will feel 'little' again.
