I have a girl that I should have asked to be a bridesmaid. I was struggling with the choice and FH really got stuck if I went to one more BM, and I felt I wasn't as close. But since I started planning I have come to realize that she is a true friend. She is always there for me. She is super thoughtful... like she knows I am really into scrapbooking so she got me scrap book stuff for our housewarming and you could tell by the things she chose to put in it that she put a lot of thought into it. It was so sweet.
I already chose my readers. So I don't know what to do. I want to include her somehow in the wedding because I feel bad. Any suggestions?
springsandra
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Re: HELP need opinion on a friend...
Posted by MLAngelo
I have a girl that I should have asked to be a bridesmaid. I was struggling with the choice and FH really got stuck if I went to one more BM, and I felt I wasn't as close. But since I started planning I have come to realize that she is a true friend. She is always there for me. She is super thoughtful... like she knows I am really into scrapbooking so she got me scrap book stuff for our housewarming and you could tell by the things she chose to put in it that she put a lot of thought into it. It was so sweet.
I already chose my readers. So I don't know what to do. I want to include her somehow in the wedding because I feel bad. Any suggestions?
I'm in the same position with a good friend of mine I regret not asking. The only way I'm ok with it now is that I only have two BMs -- my best friend and FSIL. But I still feel like I wish she was part of my day... I just feel like it's too late right now. To ask her to suddenly rush to get the dress and be a part of the RD and everything, would just be so hard for her. So for her sake, I'm not asking her at this point.
If you feel like you have the time to put her in the wedding, then I say go for it. If it's impossible, I'm sure there's something else. I'm not having readers so I couldn't do that with my friend either, but I do want her included as well.
I'll keep brainstorming, and hopefully some other gals will have some great ideas for both of us!
I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one feeling BM remorse!
20mrsc10
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Re: HELP need opinion on a friend...
i would just continue to involve her as much as you can..maybe explain the situation to her, but let her know that you want her there..let her help you plan, and be there as your getting ready..maybe even let her come with you in the limo..
meg922
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Re: HELP need opinion on a friend...
Are you planning to do the bo-k toss? If not, maybe you could present her with the bo-k.
If that doesn't work, you could write her a note expressing your gratitude for her thoughtfulness and support. Papyrus at Roosevelt Field has beautiful cards. You could also give her a corsage and/or have the band/DJ play a special song for her at the reception.
MrsDrinkh20
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Re: HELP need opinion on a friend...
I asked her to be a BM. I didnt care if the bridal party was uneven...to me i knew i wanted her to be there so I did...imr eally glad i did since she has been the most involved!! Im sure your friend will understand no matter what you decide!!
KellymKuehn
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Re: HELP need opinion on a friend...
I am in the same situation-
Just ask your family to involve her in your shower And give her 'jobs' on your wedding day Like sign in book, place card set up things like that... HTH
KittyGags
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Re: HELP need opinion on a friend...
Well, for starters, maybe shes going out of her way to be overly nice as a thank you for not being in your BP. Some people take it as an honor and some take it as a relief when they're not in it. Just saying...don't take that the wrong way!
That being said, any shot of upgrading a current BM to a MOH as well and then making her a BM? I'd ask with a card too, like you've been so wonderful to me and I want you to be a part of my day, couldn't think of a better way to thank you than to have you by my side on the most important day of my life...?
Cassie15
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Re: HELP need opinion on a friend...
Since she helped you with most of your planning for your wedding day, let her assume the role of your wedding planner/coordinator on the day of the wedding. When you list your wedding party for your programs, make sure you acknowledge & credit her name to show her how thankful and grateful you are for her help throughout your wedding planning. At this time, I would not incorporate and ask her to be involved in your wedding party since you had already asked other people. It would just complicate things- dress fitting for BM dresses, rehearsals, etc. Also, it would look like you included her out of guilt since she helped you with most of your tasks. Just include her in your wedding program as a coordinator of the day and acknowledge her name and thank her for her time and help to make your wedding planning possible, etc.
FutureMrsG
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Re: HELP need opinion on a friend...
I have a good friend that is not a bridesmaid but she has been a wonderful support through out the planning process. She loves helping out but is so glad that she is not a bridesmaid...we have talked about it. If you really want to add your friend to the wedding party ask her but like someone else said she may be happy NOT to be a BM.
debzy
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Re: HELP need opinion on a friend...
Posted by MrsDrinkh20
I asked her to be a BM. I didnt care if the bridal party was uneven...to me i knew i wanted her to be there so I did...imr eally glad i did since she has been the most involved!! Im sure your friend will understand no matter what you decide!!
I did the same. We have 5 BMs and 4 GM.
momof2
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Re: HELP need opinion on a friend...
How about inviting her w/guest to the rehearsal dinner and giving her a little gift as a thank you for all her help and her friendship.
xosweetiexo
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Re: HELP need opinion on a friend...
Posted by debzy
Posted by MrsDrinkh20
I asked her to be a BM. I didnt care if the bridal party was uneven...to me i knew i wanted her to be there so I did...imr eally glad i did since she has been the most involved!! Im sure your friend will understand no matter what you decide!!
I did the same. We have 5 BMs and 4 GM.
I also did the same. we have 6 BMs and 4 GM...they are just going to have to double up. I dont care what people think to be honest.... the people who matter to me will be a part of my wedding
