Help please!!

Ok girls,

My dad passed away from a heart attack this time last year. I have been planning my wedding and trying to make everything normal when, well it isnt. This is the happiest and saddest time in my life. My father was a wonderful man. For my 4 oldest sisters weddings my dad danced with them for the father daughter dance to daddys little girl and he sang the whole thing through the whole dance. Uhh this is hard.

Anyway, i don't know what to do at the wedding. John and his mom will dance and then what?? I have 6 sisters and my mom and we were toying around with doing a funny dance routine but now that it is only two months away, I know that I can not do some stupid routine (not that routine's are stupid they are awesome, I just don't think I can do it). SOOO what am I supposed to do? How do I do this?

Please help me girls because I am having a hell of a time with this. I don't want it to seem like this should be a depressing part of the wedding where everyone feels bad for us but I don't know what to do.

Please give me some suggestions....

My father passed away 11 years ago. I will be dancing with my godfather. Then I will dance with my mom to 'I hope you dance'. She gave me that book when I got my 1st dance teaching position. The song is perfect for a mother daughter dance. Another good mother daughter dance song is In my daughters eyes. I hope that I helped you out. FM me if you need to.

~dancer~

I'm sorry for your loss and for how hard of a time youre having. i wont undermine what youre going through by saying i can completely understand, but i lost my dad in 04 and my sister got to dance with him at her wedding, even though he was really sick. but she got the pictures and has the memory. and sometimes i get sad i wont have that. i will be dancing with my step dad to a really non-mushy song, bc..well i just dont have that relationship w/ him. maybe you can dance w/ your mom? i did incorporated him into our favors- plantable butterfly shaped seed paper, for ppl to plant which bloom into wild flowers that can attract butterflies. butterflies are how i know my dad is around me. im also having a cocktail hour singer sing all of his fav music- jimmy buffett songs for all of us to enjoy. i cant wait. imaybe you can do a donation in leu of favors, in your fathers name. maybe you can have the dj play a song that reminds you of your dad and have everyone dance to it. have his pictures surrounding a memory candle and write a poem in his memory. or read something in his memory if youd like. have a bo-k locket w/ his picture in it. do anything you feel you need to, to remember him that day. best wishes.

One other thing. My mom is not strong enough to dance. We are starting to practice walking down the isle together because she is worried that she may cry down it.

My mom has asked that we not introduce parents because she doesn't want to be introduced alone.

I dont want for this to be depressing but I really need your help.

---

Posted by GabrielleandJohn

One other thing. My mom is not strong enough to dance. We are starting to practice walking down the isle together because she is worried that she may cry down it.

My mom has asked that we not introduce parents because she doesn't want to be introduced alone.

I dont want for this to be depressing but I really need your help.

---

ok, totally understandable.

are you totally set on doing a dance?? if you feel uncomfortable w/ fh doing one with his mom and you not doing one, maybe you can talk to him about just not doing those dances. they really are optional.

or, do you have another special family member who you can dance with- brother, uncle, godfather, grandfather, etc?

I am SOoooo sorry. Your post made me so sad, I nearly cried
I can't say that I know how you feel or what your going through but here's an idea....

I don't think you can ask FH not to dance with his Mom. That wouldn't be fair for him, JMO
Maybe you can play the song that he danced to with all of your sisters, ask the DJ about doing a video montage of clips from all of the wedding were they all danced with him (so the majority of the video will be him dancing) and maybe incorporate some pics of you with him as well. You could do this right after FH dances with his Mom. You and your sisters along with your Mom can have chairs set up on the dance floor to view the video together.
HTH

I am so sorry for your loss

Do you have a close Uncle or Godfather who you could dance with? ...or any male family figure or close family friend...just a thought

---

Posted by Roed522

I am SOoooo sorry. Your post made me so sad, I nearly cried
I can't say that I know how you feel or what your going through but here's an idea....

I don't think you can ask FH not to dance with his Mom. That wouldn't be fair for him, JMO
Maybe you can play the song that he danced to with all of your sisters, ask the DJ about doing a video montage of clips from all of the wedding were they all danced with him (so the majority of the video will be him dancing) and maybe incorporate some pics of you with him as well. You could do this right after FH dances with his Mom. You and your sisters along with your Mom can have chairs set up on the dance floor to view the video together.
HTH

---

thanks sweetie, I didn't mean to make you sad. Thank you for your suggestions. My only fear is turning the wedding into a big old cry fest. we are irish so i intend for us to be a little tipsy and well we all know how heightened our emotions are with a few drinks.

Do you think it would be weird for us to just have FH dance with his mom and then not do anything else?

---

Posted by GabrielleandJohn


Do you think it would be weird for us to just have FH dance with his mom and then not do anything else?

---

I personally don't think theres anything weird about it. Its not like ppl won't understand!

do you HAVE to have tha parent dances? I don't think we will.....

no parent dances = no sad feelings!

just a thought....

---

Posted by portjeffbride

do you HAVE to have tha parent dances? I don't think we will.....

no parent dances = no sad feelings!

just a thought....

---

\

If you don't have another close male relative this might be the best way to go.

You could always have a song played in memory of your Father and dedicate it to him-- while everyone is eating or something. That way, you don't have to dance and it's still a nice thing to do for him.

So sorry

---

thanks sweetie, I didn't mean to make you sad. Thank you for your suggestions. My only fear is turning the wedding into a big old cry fest. we are irish so i intend for us to be a little tipsy and well we all know how heightened our emotions are with a few drinks.

Do you think it would be weird for us to just have FH dance with his mom and then not do anything else?

---

IMO I know that if my Dad weren't here and when it came to FH dancing with his Mom I would feel really bad watching them knowing that I couldn't do the same. I'm sure that in itself would make me cry like a baby. My Fh is Irish (FMIL) so trust me I know how that goes, (a lil tipsy ) I just think if you don't do anything you might regret it when the time comes and then it'll be too late. What about playing his favorite song and asking everyone to join in.

I know how hard this must be for you. I have a similar situation. My Dad passed away July of last year suddenly and it's a very hard thing to deal with, getting married. So, I have my Grandpa filling in. I really think that a Mother/Daughter dance would be a good idea for you. A song suggestion: Leann Womack's 'I hope you dance'.....

---

Posted by cmrcmr0430

I know how hard this must be for you. I have a similar situation. My Dad passed away July of last year suddenly and it's a very hard thing to deal with, getting married. So, I have my Grandpa filling in. I really think that a Mother/Daughter dance would be a good idea for you. A song suggestion: Leann Womack's 'I hope you dance'.....

---

I am sorry that you are going through this also but it is a beautiful light to have at the end of a sad tunnel. Thank you for being so open

---

Posted by MrsDaniRella

---

Posted by portjeffbride

do you HAVE to have tha parent dances? I don't think we will.....

no parent dances = no sad feelings!

just a thought....

---

\

If you don't have another close male relative this might be the best way to go.

You could always have a song played in memory of your Father and dedicate it to him-- while everyone is eating or something. That way, you don't have to dance and it's still a nice thing to do for him.

So sorry

---

That is a good idea. I think I will run it by the mom and sisters and see if everyone is okay with it.

Thank you.