Help Please....

Every once in a blue moon I get into this state of mind where I just don't feel 100% happy, I love FH to death and am 150% confident he will be an excellent husband and father.

It's just someitmes he doesn't want to do much of anything and I hate feeling bored, and his family or at least some of thema re always a problem and I feel like who needs this? I love him so much and can't wait to be married I just hate feeling this way! It scares me. My mom and dad love FH but my mom can't stand his annoying family and just feels like they don't deserve to have me and I just get so overwhelmed. We will talka bout it and start to do more it's just with the wedding and tryignt o save money thigns get rough I think it's the stress but I had to elt thta out, sorry

Hi Girly- Melissa Don't get down- --This should be a happy time-

Just talk to Fh about how you feel he will come around...PROMISE

If he doesn't want to do much of anything, does he mind if you go out by yourself, or does he insist that you sit around with him doing nothing? If he doesn't mind, then go do stuff with your family and friends, and accept the fact that he's quieter and more of a homebody. However, if he doesn't want you to do things, then that's an issue you need to work out before you get married. Because if you're already frustrated with it and you'd not married, it's only going to get worse when you are.

If he's OK with you going out by yourself, doing things by yourself, then it's not really a big problem. I'm sure you want to share this with him, but if he's just not into it, don't force him. You can try get him to do more, but if it's not his nature, don't push him too much.

But the same thing goes for you--if it's your nature to go out and have fun, not sit around at home, he shouldn't try to force you to do it. You have to work this out, it's a really basic part of becoming a married couple. There's nothing wrong with spouses doing stuff separately if they're both OK with it, it's actually a good thing for people to have their own interest.

The thing about his family though, that's harder. You can't change them. How does he feel about them? Does he want to spend a lot of time with them, or will you see them less after the wedding? Are there certain family members you like more than others?

Whatever happens, good luck!

He doesn't mind if I go out and I do, I love running around doing my own thing . He works a lot and I completely accept and appreciate everything he does I just need him to have a little more of an opinion come with an idea and say why don't we do this, not just me calling and making reservations. These are all topics we have gone over more than a dozen times he is a people pleaser and just wants to make me happy, I just get marriage jitters sometimes I guess.

His parents and one of his brother are great but his sister and other brother are a nightmare but the parents lives revolve around his sister which never includes me in any functions since he is always at work (he runs a restaurant) and it just saddens me I feel jipped

Thanks for listening girls!

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Posted by MF9282

Every once in a blue moon I get into this state of mind where I just don't feel 100% happy, I love FH to death and am 150% confident he will be an excellent husband and father.

It's just someitmes he doesn't want to do much of anything and I hate feeling bored, and his family or at least some of thema re always a problem and I feel like who needs this? I love him so much and can't wait to be married I just hate feeling this way! It scares me. My mom and dad love FH but my mom can't stand his annoying family and just feels like they don't deserve to have me and I just get so overwhelmed. We will talka bout it and start to do more it's just with the wedding and tryignt o save money thigns get rough I think it's the stress but I had to elt thta out, sorry

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You just voiced my innermost thoughts..I feel you!

Hang in there- weddings = stress. When its over, things will be fabulous!

I am glad I am not the only one, I feel guilty saying it out loud I keep hoping thigns go back to normal once all the planning and paying big $$ is over and done!

You are not only in feeling this way. The other night I just keep thinking to myself and I found myself saying out loud that I did not want to get married I feel bad admitting that but it just scares the crap out of me. Like yourself, I adore FH and like everyone we all have our share of issues so I guess it's just jitters but it does make you feel guilty to think this way. don't beat yourself up about feeling this way.

I feel the*exact* same way sometimes.

your not alone i had a melt down last week with everything going on with graduation and a new job and i wanted to call off everything. Fh and I have different concepts of fun. The main thing is if he doesnt' want to do it he tells me to call up a friend (usually my bestman and bestfriend dave) and go out and do it and fh does what he wants to do.

We both love and respect each other but realize that you can't do everything together 100% of the time and if you really don't like doing something why should you force someone into it?

But yes I do feel like why am i marrying this person at times... then i see him and we just click and know we love each other and i remember my parents marriage. They both don't like the same things they each go out and do different things with different groups fo people but at the end of the night they get together and have soo much to talk about together and when they do something together they truly love and appreciate it so that is really what love is about.

My friends that were this complete pic of a 'happy' couple that were all over each other and were never separate from each other divorced after a year of marriage because both of them strangled the love out of their relationship. we went out to dinner with them and they had nothing to talk about to each other and it was odd.

Ugh! I went and I picked up FH from work tn and on the way home I asked what he'd like to do and I get a nasty remark 'I guess watch tv since u can't walk aorund much.' He wanted to take his nephew to a fair and I can't go my asthma has been awful I can't have smoke near me and walking around. I knew he as annoyed about that all day, he was a bit snotty but can never say what's bothering him and I lost it. I said these things make me unhappy why must you do this ? I wish you'd have a say in what you'd likr to do come up with something I don't want to feel unhappy. And I left and drove away bc he was not saying anything of coarse than I get a text how I am a ***** lately bla bla! What do I want bla bal I always complain I am not happy than of course my mom chimes in and is like if your not happy don't get married and I can't take it my heart is pounding I hate feeling this way. We are going to go talk and have a few drinks and some nibbles. I need things to go back to how they were it has just been to stressful lately