HELP PLEASE

Okay so here it is

I decided that I wanted to ask my two cousins that are away at college to be in my wedding party but in conversation with their mother she mentioned that it will be hard for the girls to attend my April wedding due to finals at college. So i decided not to ask them because I didn't want to be the reason they fail a final or something along those lines

Now I feel horrible that I did not ask them.

Problems.....I already had my engagement party and took bridal party photos and have already picked out the dresses with my bridesmaids.....not like they could have come since one was abroad this semester and the other is away at Michigan.

So now do I always regret not asking them or do I call explaining that something has been missing and I want them in the bridal party?

I would not ask them to be in the bridal party. If I were in their situation, I would not want the extra stress of having to come home from college for fittings and all the other stuff.

If you feel bad, just tell them that you thought of them but knew that it would be hard for them to be a bridesmaid and take part in planning stuff, going for fittings, etc. while they are away at college. They should totally understand.

PS.. Keep in mind that this was THEIR mother who politely told you that they may not have the time to participate in the wedding.. They may have had this conversation with her first.

Thanks for the help. That is what I was thinking but I wanted to make sure I was on the right path.

I only put my sisters in the party so it is not like I looked them over and went and added 5 friends. I am having a small bridal party anyway so I am not really worried but I hate feeling like crap and second guessing my decisions.

You can always give them other roles in your wedding like asking them to read at the ceremony. I didn't have my two cousins in my wedding party and felt bad about it but they were thrilled they could pick out their own dresses!

Maybe talk to them about it and just tell them how you're feeling and feel them out and see if it's something they even wanted or if they're relieved not to have the stress and expense. You can still try to arrange your bachelorette to include them, and of course your shower!

If your aunt is telling you they won't be able to make your wedding, I would suggest not asking them. In coversation mention to them... I really hope you can make it...I know you have finals... see how they respond to that. Ask them when their Spring Break is... usually it falls around that time. If they are off, not on Spring Break and willing to come to the wedding, I would maybe ask them to do a reading. Just in case they cannot make it last minute, you can always ask someone else to step in. Unlike in a BP... they would lose money and you would be missing 2 BMs.
HTH

i would ask them.. we asked some of our bridal party last minute and i also changed MOH roles as well..

no more MOH for me..long story... but I decided not to have anyone be the MOH..

If you still want them to be a part of the wedding, ask them to be hostess' or ushers or readers during the ceremony. You can provide them with flowers in the color of the BM dresses so they feel a part of it, but they won't have the expense that comes with it. Just an idea...

HTH

Thanks all

I have decided to ask one of them to do a reading at the wedding so that they are a small part of my day. That is even if they come home from school.

I am so stressed and I have over a year to go :(

I would ask them and let them decline. You never know they might really want to be in it like my cousin did. Only they know their schedule. My cousin is actually in school during my wedding and she wants to be in my BP. She found a bridal salon in Alabama and tried on the dress and placed her order by calling the store in NY that the girls got their dresses from.

Good Luck!