HELP! We need to find a Catholic Priest to marry us. . .

thiadora Posted: Apr 15, 2004 07:26 PM

HELP! We need to find a Catholic Priest to marry us. . .

Our wedding is on a SUNDAY at 11:30am at our hall! Services are going on at that time so the priests we've already tried are busy.

I thought that this would be a problem. FFIL is the one who wants the priest and FH is the one who picked the time. (FH is very 'go with the flow' and didn't think it would be a problem.) So if this doesn't work out, FH will have to deal with his father about it. But I would still like to try and make his father happy, and I'm not willing to give up yet.

TIA

Mandy77 Posted: Apr 15, 2004 07:33 PM

Re: HELP! We need to find a Catholic Priest to marry us. . .

Are you getting married in a church? I don't think a catholic priest can marry outside of the church. There are retired priests who perform ceremonies outside the church, I think there are a few on this site.

lc214 Posted: Apr 15, 2004 08:39 PM

Re: HELP! We need to find a Catholic Priest to marry us. . .

It will probably be very difficult to find a Catholic Priest to come outside the church to marry you. Technically they aren't allowed to but depending on the Diocese there might be some flexibility. You might try a Deacon - or some of the other Christian Religions will do it. I know of a Lutheran minister (which supposedly is the closest Christian religion to Catholic) in Queens that recently married my sister. The ceremony is almost exactly the same (and he would do it however you wanted) so that might work for you.
FM me if you want the details.

LIJuneBride Posted: Apr 15, 2004 08:50 PM

Re: HELP! We need to find a Catholic Priest to marry us. . .

Are you both Catholic? If only one of you is, then the priest will come to the hall to marry you. Otherwise, I don't think there is a priest who will marry you outside the church.

OSCARtheGROOM Posted: Apr 15, 2004 09:28 PM

Re: HELP! We need to find a Catholic Priest to marry us. . .

Posted by Mandy77

Are you getting married in a church? I don't think a catholic priest can marry outside of the church. There are retired priests who perform ceremonies outside the church, I think there are a few on this site.

I agree. My priest told me they are not allowed to marry outside the church.

thiadora Posted: Apr 15, 2004 09:49 PM

Re: HELP! We need to find a Catholic Priest to marry us. . .

Posted by LIJuneBride

Are you both Catholic? If only one of you is, then the priest will come to the hall to marry you. Otherwise, I don't think there is a priest who will marry you outside the church.

I'm not Catholic. I'm also not baptised (nor is my sister). My dad is an atheist, and my parents thought at the time that I would make the decision when the time came. We did (and do) celebrate the Christian holidays growing up, but only in terms of Santa Claus. the Easter Bunny and the act of giving. My parents have never taken me to Church. I do believe in God, but not in the Christian sense.

FI was brought up Catholic. FH's SIL is Jewish. When she and his borther got married, they got married at the hall. So I don't think that his mother realized that the priests will really only do this if it's a mixed religious ceremony, because she is very supportive of us marrying at the hall.

We contacted Father Frank from Hope House. He would have married us at the hall- except he can't do it at that time, because he has mass. He spoke a lot at my HS growing up and has performed marries and Chrisinings for family friends. I really enjoy his manner and words.

I don't think that this is going to work out. I wish that I had been more knowledgable about the Catholic church before we started planning our wedding. I would have guided FH to Saturday afternoon at least or to the Sunday evening. As it is, so many things are in place and so may people know the time- I really can't (and also don't want to) change it now.

Thanks for your advise.

LIJuneBride Posted: Apr 15, 2004 11:03 PM

Re: HELP! We need to find a Catholic Priest to marry us. . .

If FH belongs to a church, contact them. They don't need all the priests for all the masses - there must be one free at that time. You might have to do all their preparation though, but since you are not Catholic they will marry you at the hall. Keep trying churches (or have his recommend one if they can't do it) until you find one. Good luck!

karen32 Posted: Apr 15, 2004 11:51 PM

Re: HELP! We need to find a Catholic Priest to marry us. . .

honestly - you are going to have a very hard, if not impossible time finding a priest to marry you at your hall. is there any way you would consider getting married in a church?

ETA: i reread your post again - if you haven't received the sacrements, i don't think you will be allowed to be married in a church. DH and I both had to prove that we were baptized, received communion, confirmation, etc.

tourist Posted: Apr 15, 2004 11:52 PM

Re: HELP! We need to find a Catholic Priest to marry us. . .

This is a shot in the dark, but maybe try a Catholic Unvisity? They don't have the same mass schedule as a regular church, but I don't know if they will marry random strangers especially outside of the University church.

Maribelle7777 Posted: Apr 15, 2004 11:55 PM

Re: HELP! We need to find a Catholic Priest to marry us. . .

Posted by Mandy77

Are you getting married in a church? I don't think a catholic priest can marry outside of the church. There are retired priests who perform ceremonies outside the church, I think there are a few on this site.

Yes they will. Not all of them but they can and some do. Some feel it's not right.

Maybe you can find a retired priest. IE: retired from active duty but can still perform mass.

And there's deacons too, I think they can marry people?

Is your FH or FFIL and FMIL parishioners of a Church? If so see if the pastor there knows anyone that can marry you.

Good luck!

marymoon Posted: Apr 16, 2004 12:59 AM

Re: HELP! We need to find a Catholic Priest to marry us. . .

I think you may be able to find one, but you will have to go through the whole proess of first getting dispensation to marry outside the church..

Also...have you tried www.catholicanswer.org?

They're a group of priests who are Catholic but not associated with the vatican. Maybe that will satisfy FFIL!