Ok, so I was working in long island and was making, say X amount of dollars. My husband signs a contract, moves to North Carolina, and between his family pressuring me, telling me I'm selfish to stay in NY & me feeling guilty and wanting to do the right thing, move to North Carolina with him.
I go on a job interview & the manager loves me...the catch is, they only offer me 1/2 of what I used to make and only 2 weeks vacation instead of 4 weeks which is what I was making in NY.
What would you do?? I am FREAKING out, my hands are shaking as I write this. What they offered me to work as a REGISTERED NURSE with a Bachelor's degree is what I used to make as a Nurse's Aide in 2004.
To top it off, I HATE HATE HATE it here and I'm dying to get back to NY asap. And the business my husband was supposed to start back in august hasn't even started yet, so for the past 2 months he's been here, he hasn't even been working.
halfbaked
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Re: Help!!! What would you do??
Don't freak out! This is completely normal. If you go almost anywhere outside of NY, your salary is cut in half. But keep in mind the cost of *everything* is cut in half. Houses are cheaper, food is cheaper- your cost of living goes waaaaay down.
ourwedding9510
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Re: Help!!! What would you do??
With this economy, a job is a job. It totally s*cks they didn't offer you more money but (and please don't answer this just ask yourself) is it costing you and DH the same amount to live down in NC? I think usually the wage offered is probably standard in the area. Ask around if you can. Also, something to ask them is if there is a chance for an increase in wage after a trial period.
Good Luck!
Lsorrent
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Re: Help!!! What would you do??
Keep in mind the cost of living. While your salary may be half what it was here in NY, I'm sure your cost of living is also much less.
HurricaneGirl
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Re: Help!!! What would you do??
I know the cost of living is a little less there, but a Louis Vuitton bag costs the same here as in NY!! Ha ha ha, ok, i'm just trying to be funny here, but we're living in what's considered a luxury apt here in NC, so we're still spending over $1000/month on rent anyway. I don't know, I'm about to pack my sh*t and go back to my old job.
AwaitingAugust
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Re: Help!!! What would you do??
it sounds like the biggest problem isn't the salary you were offered ... it's that you just don't want to be in NC.
but if you move back to NY, what will your DH do? will he come back with you, or will he stay there? You need to sit down with him and figure out a way to keep you both happy.
Im_My_Own_Princess
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Re: Help!!! What would you do??
one of my best friends is down in NC, and her and her hubby were in a similar position... she took a major paycut... his hours are horrible... now they have a 1yr old.. but, they LOVE it down there. DH and I are prob going to move down there eventually.
have you talked to your DH about it? like how much you don't like it and all your worries?
HurricaneGirl
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Re: Help!!! What would you do??
Posted by AwaitingAugust
it sounds like the biggest problem isn't the salary you were offered ... it's that you just don't want to be in NC.
but if you move back to NY, what will your DH do? will he come back with you, or will he stay there? You need to sit down with him and figure out a way to keep you both happy.
Thanks But its like, right now, I don't even care what he does, we could do long distance or we could not, but I don't want to stay in an unhappy situation any longer. They offered him these great oppurtunities here and so far NOTHING. I feel like we're wasting our time here, so yes, you're right, the biggest problem is that I just don't want to be in NC. Sigh.
AwaitingAugust
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Re: Help!!! What would you do??
Posted by HurricaneGirl Thanks But its like, right now, I don't even care what he does, we could do long distance or we could not, but I don't want to stay in an unhappy situation any longer. They offered him these great oppurtunities here and so far NOTHING. I feel like we're wasting our time here, so yes, you're right, the biggest problem is that I just don't want to be in NC. Sigh.
if you're THAT miserable there, then i think you should try to move back .... but i would make sure it's a well thought out decision ... if your DH isn't willing to move back with you, you might be miserable here too because you're so far apart.
Linzee636
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Re: Help!!! What would you do??
Posted by HurricaneGirl
Posted by AwaitingAugust
it sounds like the biggest problem isn't the salary you were offered ... it's that you just don't want to be in NC.
but if you move back to NY, what will your DH do? will he come back with you, or will he stay there? You need to sit down with him and figure out a way to keep you both happy.
Thanks But its like, right now, I don't even care what he does, we could do long distance or we could not, but I don't want to stay in an unhappy situation any longer. They offered him these great oppurtunities here and so far NOTHING. I feel like we're wasting our time here, so yes, you're right, the biggest problem is that I just don't want to be in NC. Sigh.
PLEASE PLEASE talk to your DH about how you're feeling. It is with sadness that I write that after 28 years of marriage, my parents split up (and told me less than one month after my wedding)... and the primary reason is because 2 years ago, my dad moved to FL for a job and my mom said she was going to move down there to be with him. Two years later, she never did. She never really wanted to in the first place. And now, their marriage has fallen apart.
DO NOT let a job or a location ruin your relationship! It's not worth it. The salary aspect is disappointing, but if the greater problem is being in NC, focus on that first. It's a tough economy, but jobs will be around. They'll come and go, and at the end of the day, you want to know that you will come home to a happy place that you love.
HurricaneGirl
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Re: Help!!! What would you do??
Posted by Linzee636
Posted by HurricaneGirl
Posted by AwaitingAugust
it sounds like the biggest problem isn't the salary you were offered ... it's that you just don't want to be in NC.
but if you move back to NY, what will your DH do? will he come back with you, or will he stay there? You need to sit down with him and figure out a way to keep you both happy.
Thanks But its like, right now, I don't even care what he does, we could do long distance or we could not, but I don't want to stay in an unhappy situation any longer. They offered him these great oppurtunities here and so far NOTHING. I feel like we're wasting our time here, so yes, you're right, the biggest problem is that I just don't want to be in NC. Sigh.
PLEASE PLEASE talk to your DH about how you're feeling. It is with sadness that I write that after 28 years of marriage, my parents split up (and told me less than one month after my wedding)... and the primary reason is because 2 years ago, my dad moved to FL for a job and my mom said she was going to move down there to be with him. Two years later, she never did. She never really wanted to in the first place. And now, their marriage has fallen apart.
DO NOT let a job or a location ruin your relationship! It's not worth it. The salary aspect is disappointing, but if the greater problem is being in NC, focus on that first. It's a tough economy, but jobs will be around. They'll come and go, and at the end of the day, you want to know that you will come home to a happy place that you love.
Thanks girl! I needed to hear it from another perspective!
