HELP!!! Your advice is requested

When I first picked my wedding date, etc I immediately asked my sister to be my MOH. She and I are not close (v. long reason) but I thought this was a way for us to bond, etc.
She tells me yeah, but I'm going to be stealing the spotlight away from you b/c I'll be pregnant. (not sure why she thought this but whatever) I asked her 10 months before the date.

She later called me in Dec that she was pregnant and due on my Wedding date! Long story again but made comments like family would be at the hospital and not my wedding. She also declined being my MOH which I understood.

Today she calls me telling me that the Dr moved her due date to middle of July and I quote 'so I'm back as your MOH' WHAT?! My best friend for 20 years in my MOH and she has been wonderful. I told my sister and she tells me- if she's your friend she'll understand. Then she tells me that b/c she's so pregnant she can't come to the shower my bridesmaids planned (thanks for ruining the surprise by telling me every detail) and she is not wearing the same color as the other girls b/c she doesn't like it.

I really don't think it's fair is is changing her mind...
Any suggestions on how to involve her w/o having her as a bridesmaid?

My sister is very selfish and loves getting attention. I fear she going to go into labor during the ceremony or reception & make a big scene!

Why does she does this?!

i don't have many ideas on how to include her without having her as a bm, but i'm certain a lot of other brides on here will definitely have ideas.

but, i do think that you should NOT have her as a part of the bridal party at this point. on your wedding day you will really only want to have bm's that you feel are there fully supporting and loving you and your day. you do not want someone that will not offer or give that to you.

it is your day and it comes only once and you want it to be as great an experience as possible with everyone who is a part of it.

good luck.

I'm in a situation where I was not able to include all my cousins in my bridal party because I didn't want there to be too many BMs. To try to include them, I've tried to have them participate in all the planning (I got their opinion on dresses and shoes and jewelry and hair, etc...) and the day of give them jobs like hand out programs and make sure things are going smoothly. This was my way of making them feel like they are a part of it without having them as BMs.

That really isn't fair of your sister to treat you that way though and she should put aside her own need for attention and understand that it is your day.

Tell her you already have a MOH ...that shouldnt change, I personally would NOT include her as a BM-she is already causing issues by not wanting to wear the same color dress---like thats really her choice AND she ruins your surprise shower?????? That's ridiculous!

Maybe she can do a reading?
Hand out Programs?

You can ask her to do a reading. But also have a backup reader, just in case.

Otherwise, yes, be firm in the limits you set. Be prepared for her to start more drama, but try not to get drawn into it.

Best Friend MOH end of story lol...
I am sorry for this drama you have.

So sorry for all the drama! I agree with some of the above. Personally, I wouldn't include her in the bridal party.

Actually...have you considered making her an honorary BM? I'm not sure how it works, but I heard they don't walk down the aisle and they're just mentioned in the programs. Some other people on the board may be able to give you better advice about this...but my take is if she's an honorary BM she'll still feel important, help out with your day, but she doesn't have to wear the same colors as the bridal party and doesn't have to be included on all the regular BM stuff. Additionally, if she can't make it then you won't have to designate a back-up...and she's still be honored in the program.

Babies aren't always on time, so I don't see how moving the day back a week or two totally changed her mind.

I'd ask her to do a reading or something, but tell her you don't think it's best if she's if the bridal party.

I'm sorry she's making you crazy. That's insane!

Ask her to do a reading or say a blessing before your dinner or something. Other than that, I don't think there is much else to include her in without her being in the actual bridal party.

And congrats on becoming an aunt!

Just my opinion, but I'd stick to your plan and continue with your best friend as your MOH. It doesn't sound like your sister really wanted to be involved from the beginning. No use changing your plans now when you're happy with them.
Good luck.

Maybe you can have two-- MOH and Matron of Honor. If your sister is married then she'll be the matron of honor. If not, call her Honor Attendant. Her delivery date is so closed to your wedding so it's a bit scary.

That way, you can give her the title even if she's not involved on anything. It's political but it avoids family drama... sometimes!

Wish you well.

I can see what you mean about her needing attention! I agree that you should keep your BP as it is now...decisions have been made, she's been vocal about not liking them, so it's really in HER best interests not to be a MOH or BM.

Have her do a reading, but I agree to have a backup reader, just in case.

Good luck!