HELP...be a BM or not?

Awhile ago I posted about a relative who still hasn't asked me to be in the BP and has listed me on the website. Well, no change.

Anyway, each time I speak with the bride she consistently puts down every aspect of my wedding. In a non-chalant way. I am just recenrly noticing how obnoxious this behavior is and never noticed it before. If I am asked, what should I do?

I am also thinking about having baby # 2 at the time of the wedding. I refuse to put my life on hold for one day..but the dresses she is picking is for someone who has a 'model type' body. (This too I found on the website)

TIA!

so she has you on her wedding website as a bm but hasnt asked you, wow that is weird...was that her way of asking you just by you seeing it lol

i agree with not putting your life on hold...That would be just ridiculous and dont know how others expect that, some get mad. Bm's can be pregnant too its not a big deal ive seen it alot.

Sounds like you dont want to be her bm, mention to her you plan on trying to have a baby but bring it up casually and see what she says. Also next time she says something nasty about your wedding, say something as to why she feels the need to make such remarks

'I'm very sorry but I don't think I will be able to fulfill my duties as a BM, would it be okay if you took me off your site?'

I feel terrible not being more excited...but it's just rude the nasty comments. I think it's mostly jealousy on her part.

Example: She says, 'I went to Pedastals and they were the most disgusting of them all.' (I went to Pedastals and loved Robert there!)

'I found my dress on LI, I don't have time to go into the city.' I got my dress at Kleinfelds.

I agree I would say it is not going to work with your schedule. I think it may only get worse as it gets closer. I think for some reason she is jealous.

---

Posted by julybride06

I feel terrible not being more excited...but it's just rude the nasty comments. I think it's mostly jealousy on her part.

Example: She says, 'I went to Pedastals and they were the most disgusting of them all.' (I went to Pedastals and loved Robert there!)

'I found my dress on LI, I don't have time to go into the city.' I got my dress at Kleinfelds.

---

Oh man one of those... yeah jealously and she has serious confidence issues... One of FH friends is getting married and his fiance is just like that ...

This is the way I play this

commend her on her taste and wonderfulness or whatever, just let her eat it up and she'll be nice to you.

Say wow I wish I thought of that. You are so smart. You have such good taste, I wish I could see what you see.

Trust me she'll eat it up and love you. But I honestly wouldn't bother if it wasn't so important to my FH that we got along. This is really the only way I know how to with person with such issues.

I would email or call her and say that u r confused because you see that she listed you as a BM on her website, but you didn't think u were in the wedding party bc she never asked. Tell her that u can't do it do it.

One of my friends never asked me to be in her wedding party. At her e-party, she told me and FH that we should sit at the wedding party table. I said, 'Umm....am I in your wedding party?' She thought I would automatically know that I was without asking bc we've been friends 4 so long.

---

Posted by julybride06

Awhile ago I posted about a relative who still hasn't asked me to be in the BP and has listed me on the website. Well, no change.

Anyway, each time I speak with the bride she consistently puts down every aspect of my wedding. In a non-chalant way. I am just recenrly noticing how obnoxious this behavior is and never noticed it before. If I am asked, what should I do?

I am also thinking about having baby # 2 at the time of the wedding. I refuse to put my life on hold for one day..but the dresses she is picking is for someone who has a 'model type' body. (This too I found on the website)

TIA!

---

If this is something that bothers you, you should call the bride and mention that you saw yourself listed on her website and tell her of your confusion due to the fact that she has not asked you. I'm sure that she will be glad to explain the situation. For instance, perhaps she feels that she is close enough to you that you should automatically know that she would want you in her bridal party and perhaps she is waiting to ask you in person. This is especially true if the wedding date is far out, say more than a year. Has she been trying to get together with you?

As for the bride 'putting down every aspect of your wedding', perhaps you are misinterpreting her simply wanting to do things differently than you did them for your wedding as a criticism. I'm sure that when you were getting married that she supported whatever you wanted and said it was wonderful. You should do the same now that it is her turn.

Finally, I'm sure that the bride has never asked you to 'put your like on hold for one day' but instead would like you to be there for her and be supportive for one day. I'm sure you can do that.

As for the dresses being for 'model type' bodies, I am sure that there are other girls in the BP who are not models and if you plan on being pregnant at the time of the wedding then you should speak to the bride about that before the dress search progresses much further. Personally, it would not make a difference to me if one of my BMs was pregnant but I would like to know in advance so that I can find a dress that will accomodate her.

Generally speaking, it would be more beneficial to discuss these issues with the bride and if it is simply a case of you not wanting to be part of her day then you should be honest about that.

some ppl are just critical and nasty in general. i deal with plenty of those

just say no. who cares?? if you can't stand her know you'll really hate her by the time the wedding is over, trust me.

ETS: i've been a BP without being asked. just found out through the grapevine. maybe she told me and i was