HELP....Bridesmaid from hell!!!!!!!!!

pokow Posted: Jun 15, 2004 11:31 PM

HELP....Bridesmaid from hell!!!!!!!!!

ok here's the problem...........
a very close friend of mine has given all my other friends hell when she was in their wedding but she has been my friend for 15 years and had to have her in my party.

she always claims she has no money...doesn't work (by choice). she did not contribute anything to my shower, so my FH had to put money in with the girls. she also went to another friends wedding (was in the party) and didn't even give a gift, card, nothing! how embarassing! so now her shower/wedding is coming up, should i not contribute to her shower either?? i hate being that way. but she always wants everything done for her and will not do anything for anyone else

MrsBrad Posted: Jun 16, 2004 02:03 AM

Re: HELP....Bridesmaid from hell!!!!!!!!!

i wouldnt stoop to her level - i wont accomplish anything to do the same thing. obvisouly, she is really selfish so she prolly wouldnt understandn anyway

september2004 Posted: Jun 16, 2004 07:14 AM

Re: HELP....Bridesmaid from hell!!!!!!!!!

do not stoop to her level and post wedding find some new friends

soon2bmrs2004 Posted: Jun 16, 2004 07:54 AM

Re: HELP....Bridesmaid from hell!!!!!!!!!

Posted by MrsBrad

i wouldnt stoop to her level - i wont accomplish anything to do the same thing. obvisouly, she is really selfish so she prolly wouldnt understandn anyway

Same here

brideinapril Posted: Jun 16, 2004 08:07 AM

Re: HELP....Bridesmaid from hell!!!!!!!!!

I wouldn't stoop to her level either,I would contiunue to be the giving/caring person that i am. Don't change your way of thinking because someone else doesn't think the way you do. You know in your heart the right thing to do.

eogara Posted: Jun 16, 2004 08:13 AM

Re: HELP....Bridesmaid from hell!!!!!!!!!

Posted by september2004

do not stoop to her level and post wedding find some new friends

Good advice!

honored2BMOH Posted: Jun 16, 2004 05:09 PM

Re: HELP....Bridesmaid from hell!!!!!!!!!

The Golden Rule does not apply here.

You MUST set an example for her. However, she's likely to be rather obtuse so I wouldn't expect her to notice your kindness and generosity. But, at least you'll have the satisfaction of knowing you were a good friend to her.

(and I like the 'find some new friends' advice, CRACKED me up!!)

;)

tourist Posted: Jun 16, 2004 05:46 PM

Re: HELP....Bridesmaid from hell!!!!!!!!!

oooh- that's a tough one. I'd be SO ready to stoop to her level!
I'm petty like that.

You should take the high road, but will she get it? People like that don't appreciate other's genoristy.

You should contribute to the shower, though, you don't want to screw over the other girls.

As for the gift, if you really want to be petty, do it there.

maybe just buy her something stupid & useless. ( and cheap)

oakslady Posted: Jun 17, 2004 02:52 AM

Re: HELP....Bridesmaid from hell!!!!!!!!!

are the other girls all girls she has screwed in the past ?
if so i would say she doesnt get a shower if she cant contribute to anyone elses'

after all what goes around comes around

charlotte227 Posted: Jun 17, 2004 10:21 AM

Re: HELP....Bridesmaid from hell!!!!!!!!!

Posted by oakslady

after all what goes around comes around

exactly my thoughts

Nora101004 Posted: Jun 17, 2004 01:11 PM

Re: HELP....Bridesmaid from hell!!!!!!!!!

How much are you asked to contribute? Maybe you can cut it back. Where is the party? Can it be done cheaper?

Nessa79 Posted: Jun 17, 2004 02:10 PM

Re: HELP....Bridesmaid from hell!!!!!!!!!

Sorry but i woundn't give her Squat, and if she asks say you have no Money, she obvioulsy doesnt think its a big deal so why should you?

tourist Posted: Jun 17, 2004 02:14 PM

Re: HELP....Bridesmaid from hell!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Nessa79

Sorry but i woundn't give her Squat,

Yay! Nessa & Oakslasy & Charlotte.
I thought I was the only one that wouldn't do the polite thing.

bluetank Posted: Jun 17, 2004 03:14 PM

Re: HELP....Bridesmaid from hell!!!!!!!!!

Dont stoop to her level, but make your point by giving a really cheap, bad shower gift. She is not going to change, but that doesn't mean what she is doing is right. Let her feel it a little

james'pokey Posted: Jun 17, 2004 03:45 PM

Re: HELP....Bridesmaid from hell!!!!!!!!!

I believe in Karma. You should do the right thing and unfortunately she will get hers in the end.

Donna Posted: Jun 17, 2004 04:13 PM

Re: HELP....Bridesmaid from hell!!!!!!!!!

are you in her BP? If you are then I would contribute something, if you and the other girls have all been victim to her then I would def. change the scale of her shower, so that it costs you all less. Also I would give her a gift but not an expensive one.

Marisa&Brian Posted: Jun 17, 2004 08:10 PM

Re: HELP....Bridesmaid from hell!!!!!!!!!

Posted by brideinapril

I wouldn't stoop to her level either,I would contiunue to be the giving/caring person that i am. Don't change your way of thinking because someone else doesn't think the way you do. You know in your heart the right thing to do.

I am sure you have more class than to show up w/o a gift. - HOWEVER........personally, I would not be AS generous as I normally would -

Janine24 Posted: Jun 17, 2004 08:16 PM

Re: HELP....Bridesmaid from hell!!!!!!!!!

I would contribute some BUT not a lot at all... some people just want...want...want... and never give and she seems to me like that... I wouldn't stoop to her level but I would be hesitant to help out a lot...jmo