HELP...I need advice!!

Ok here is my problem.

My dad thinks that I should have my wedding at the fire house hall (we are both members) because it will save us money and he doesn't want me spending everything I have on the wedding.

However, by the time you get an outside caterer, rent china/flatware, get waiters/waitresses, and rent linens, we are looking at $75pp.

At this price, I'd rather go to a beautiful caterering hall/hotel.

I tried explaining this to him and he's like well we can rent things on our own. This is going to be a lot of work that I don't want to have to deal with...any suggestions on how to handle it???

I would start looking into halls and getting prices. You can defiinitely get one for under $75 a person.

Draw your dad up a spreadsheet with a full breakdown of costs for both wedding options. Once he sees it in black and white, he might be a little more accepting. If he's willing show him a couple of halls that are in your budget.

If 12/05 is your date this will help you.

I got quotes for September 2005 - Feb 2006 and most are UNDER $75 pp at a catering hall and include everything from open bar to the cake and everything in between.

2005/06 Quotes North Ritz, Carlyle, Sandcastle, Swan Club, Floral Terrace, Milleridge Cottage, Jericho Terrace, Fox Hollow, Brentwood Country Club, Coral House, Russos, Chateau Briand, Villa Lombardis

Here are all of my compiled notes.

Not sure about differing taste but this is what I have. We have not booked but so far have the following quotes (some for 2005 & 2006).

Milleridge Cottage $54 pp Sunday afternoon Jan - Feb 2006 150 minimum guarantee. Very pretty for May. One wedding at a time and a beautiful atrium for the ceremony (or outside if the weather is nice). They include centerpieces and have a pretty big basic menu (2 star). They offer a bigger menu too - 3 star. They are changing the carpet and wall paper at Milleridge Cottage though. Not sure when. they also have nice outdoor spaces for pics. Plus, it's very easy to find - which FI liked.

Fox Hollow $51 pp for Jan - Feb 2006 Sun afternoon & 160 minimum guarantee for Garden Terrace, 9/4/05 $75 pp for Sunday afternoon. The Garden Terrace room is very pretty - Tiffany glass dome over the bride & groom. Great outdoor pics. Again, easy to find for out of town guests.

Floral Terrace $60 pp Feb 2006 125 minimum guarantee, $70 pp for September - November 2005. All Sat/Sun afternoon pricing. They do have valet parking - underground too. One wedding at a time but no sun set pics.

Swan Club 125 minimum for Garden Room & 165 minimum for Camelot Room$ $55 pp for Sat/Sun afternoon in November - $75 pp Sat night November, $55 Sunday night; Jan - Feb $50pp for Sat/Sun aft; $70 pp Sat night & $50 Sun night; Sept/October $65 pp Sat afternoon ; $90 pp at night; $60 pp Sun aft & $65 at night. Up to 3 weddings at a time.

Sandcastle $80 pp 2/2006 Sunday afternoon, 140 minimum. Knights and armor decor and cool big red king/queen chairs. The ballroom is very pretty but it is on a main road and we heard street traffic on the day we visited.

Chateau Briand Sept 2005; Sunday afternoon $72pp; Jan - Feb $60 pp Sat/Sun afternoon
125 minimum for smaller room; 175 for larger room (not Da Vinci). Very art deco which we didn't like....and they were to change the decor the week after we visited. Still art deco though and upgrading something (bathrooms?).

Jericho Terrace Sept/Oct 2005 $70 pp Sat/Sun afternoons; Nov $65 pp also afternoons; Jan - Feb 2006 $55 pp afternoons; 150 guarantee for Dome room; 125 for smaller room. Pretty outdoor pic areas but not ceremony or cocktail. We got them down to $55 per person for Monday afternoon 10/10/05 with 150 minimum in the Dome Room and $55 per person with a 115 guarantee for the Skylight Room. Mike Closs is the BM we met and really liked. He even took us on a tour of the kitchen - which was very clean. There are two menus. We only knew about the cheaper menu until I read this site and found out there was a deluxe menu. I asked Mike about it and he said we could pick and choose some items from the Deluxe Menu for the regular price. I think the larger menu has 7 entree choices and the menu we saw (and would have gone with) has 3 entree choices. He threw in a grilled shrimp station too. We both want an outdoor ceremony & cocktail but otherwise we would have booked Jericho Terrace.

Russos - 10/10/05 Monday - $77 pp (125 minimum I think?). FI thought the elevator entrance was too 'hollywood'. On a main road with no outdoor space for ceremony or cocktail. I hear the food is to die for and there is tons of it.

Coral House - September 2005 Sunday afternoon $58 (I think) with like 120 minimum. They have a lot of different rooms to choose from if you have a smaller or larger party. Very busy place - like 3 weddings at once. Pretty lakeside setting and possible outdoor ceremony (weather permitting).

Brentwood Country Club - (only holds about 200 max though) one wedding at a time - package deal $8995 - $11495 (?) which includes EVERYTHING (invites, limos, DJ, photo, video, flowers & reception for 100 people). Add tax and 15& service charge. Additional guests are $55 each. House vendors are included in this package but if you choose not to use them, BCC gives credit i.e. $1,000 for photo if you do not use the house photographer.


Villa Lombardi’s gave us a quote for September 05 (and October 1 2005)
Friday afternoon $74.95pp Plus 18% plus tax with a 75 minimum
Sunday afternoon 74.95 min 75
Thursday night 74.95 min 75
Sat night is 114.95 min 200
Sat aft is 89.95 min 100
Fri night 89.95 min 150
Sun night is 79.95 120 min

It's very easy to find and the Hampton Inn has a free shuttle for guests to Villas.

We would have the ceremony there 5:30 p.m. for the room with the French doors & 7:30 p.m. for the other room (nearly identical but mural instead of French doors). For Friday the options are 6 p.m. & 8 p.m. for the ceremony.

Chateau La Mer
We got some quotes for September/October 2005.

Thurs & Monday night $60pp ++ (18% & 8.75% tax)
Friday - $75 pp++
Sat afternoon $67++
Sat night $85++
Sun aft $60 ++
Sun night $68++
Holiday Sunday night is average of Sat/Sun night price per Lou.

Maitre D fee is $300 but split 7 ways with some staff members

Large room is 150 minimum - no upgrades if you do not make the minimum. Lou said brides want taht room and guarantee 150 knowing they will end up with like 100 or 125 so he does not do upgrades for that reason.

Smaller room upstairs is 100 minimum

Chocolate fountain (30 lbs of chocolate) is $1,000

Carlyle on the Green
Carlyle was set up for a party - Gatsby style with sofas and lots of tables (different sizes).

I LOVED the ballroom .
Valets are $125 each, 1 per 100 guests.

10 hot/cold hors doeuvres
3 cocktail stations per 100 guests

September/October 2005 quotes
150 minimum
Thurs night $110 pp plus 20% service & tax
Sat/Sun afternoon $125pp++

North Ritz Club
175 minimum for Sept/Oct 2005
Thurs night $65++ (18 % & 8.75 tax)
Fri night $95++
Sun night $90++
Monday night $70++
Sat/Sun afternoon $80++

This is a one wedding (event) at a time place & there is an elevator for wheelchair bound (or older) guests.

Add tax and service charge (15 - 20 %) and still some are under $75 pp

Maybe a spreadsheet will let him see where I am coming from.

I tried verbally breaking down the expenses, but he has his heart set on the fire house.

My parents' wedding was there and my sweet 16 was there!!! Enough ALREADY!!!!!!

You may end up spending more time, money, and energy this way. I was quoted $65pp for Leonard's of Great Neck for a Friday night wedding in '05. This was last year, the prices may have gone up a bit, but you should check out a couple of halls, just for fun....and bring dad so he has an idea of how much things cost.
If you DO decide to do it yourself, I would seriously consider hiring a wedding coordinator to help things run smoothly.

Check out the website Wedding Sites and Services.com for information on all the different catering halls in NY...you can select the county and it will ive you a listing of all the halls in that area.
Here's the link: Wedding Sites and Services

Also try www.WeddingSitesandServices.com.
They give a list of all the catering halls in NY (you can do a search by state and county) and also give you an idea of how much it will cost pp.

FH also suggested that you ask your dad how much he is willing to pay per person, take that money, and apply it to the catering hall of your choice and you and FH can pay the difference if it's higher than that.

Here's the link to that site: Wedding Sites and Services

kdrainey:

oh my god!! i can't believe all the notes you took. They were great. I actually called a couple of those places. The problem is our date. December is suppose to be an off month, but New Year's Eve is a holiday!!!

Most places I called wanted like $100-$125pp.
YIKEESS!!!

I have to call 2 hotels today, who quoted me around $70 on the phone. I'll probably check out the others on your list.

You CAN make a firehouse wedding very nice (been going to them for years) but you are right, between the cost of getting all the outside stuff, you may wind up paying just as much. I would put it all down in writing, vs. a qoute from a couple of halls you are interested in, so that he can see they are comparable. 15th and West at the Nassau County Bar Association (mineola/garden city) is where I got married - it was very elegant and not very expensive - they don't advertise so a lot of people have never heard of them, I highly recommend the place!
edited to say: I am sure he has a sentimental reason for wanting it there too, since it seems he has been a member for a long long time and also got married there - maybe since you don't have to pay for the hall, you'd enjoy spending the extra money to make it the way you want it?

Here's the thing...You don't want to fight with dad, but is HE paying for it? And even if he is, is He getting married? NO.

Tactfully tell Dad that although you are proud of the FD, you have imagined your wedding differently and since the prices are close, you would rather spend the extra $$$ on having a day you will remember fondly.

As an event coordinator for an entertainment company, I have encountered some clients who have gone the 'renting' route, namely at homes in the Hamptons. Of the few that I have spoken to afterward, they have said that, if they had the chance to do it all over they would have gone to a hall.

They said it was too much headache to deal with 1 person for china, 1 person for liquor, another for the dancefloor......
Another good point is that there is way too much room for errors to occur.
Like other have said, do your own investigating, get your facts together and present dad your findings. If you have to, bring him to one of your favorites. I'm sure he'll agree eventually, if that's what his little girl really wants.

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Posted by curliegirl

As an event coordinator for an entertainment company, I have encountered some clients who have gone the 'renting' route, namely at homes in the Hamptons. Of the few that I have spoken to afterward, they have said that, if they had the chance to do it all over they would have gone to a hall.

They said it was too much headache to deal with 1 person for china, 1 person for liquor, another for the dancefloor......
Another good point is that there is way too much room for errors to occur.
Like other have said, do your own investigating, get your facts together and present dad your findings. If you have to, bring him to one of your favorites. I'm sure he'll agree eventually, if that's what his little girl really wants.

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Yea, I know..thats what I'm feeling. I just know something is going to go wrong. TOO MANY VENDORS!!!!

I've contacted a few places, and I've gotten some really reasonable prices, other's are just completely ridiculous.

I know New Years Eve, is very expensive, but it has meaning behind it.

hmmm - I think you can get a nice reception hall for 75pp. Take him to a couple so he's sees the difference.

Definitely draw up a list of side by side prices. I booked Jericho Terrace and am paying under $75 for a Friday night before a holiday, so it can be done.

Also check out www.receptionhalls.com

Good luck!

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Posted by Corduroy94

My parent's friends wanted to do this for theit daughter at a Mason hall. She drew up a list comparing the costs side by side. Then she drew up a To-Do list with all the meetings and calls you have to make. In the end he realized they would spend the same ammount of $ but have half the work.

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I agree I've gone through this over bill paying period with my parents. Where they would argue that I was blowing my money and just chosing not to pay bills!(Yeah okay)Then I drew up a comparison sheet of my bills and their bills, my income to their income and the fact that I have kids and theirs are grown(daycare no longer an expense for them)and they finally got off my back. Do the same with the firedept. and the hall you want. Im sure if it's on paper that it will finally sink in.

All I had to do was show my parents the numbers between going with an 'expensive' venue, and renting a tent for the wedding. The cost of rentals blew our budget out of the water.

Break it down and Show him the numbers - money talks.