HELP......need advice. kind of long

gaby25 Posted: Jan 19, 2004 02:53 PM

HELP......need advice. kind of long

my close friend is getting married this march. She and her sister (MOH)
have asked the BP (10 of us) to give money for the shower ($150 each)
now my other two close friends and myself have given this money
but now we are debating about the shower gift. We are all in a very
tight money situation right now especially with her wedding so close
I mean we still have our personal expenses and her wedding gift, which
we have agreed that we would give her a very generous amount. well,
anyways we were thinking of the 3 of us chipping in for her gift for the
shower. We have found a gift that would come out to $180.00 and
between us that would be 60 each. My question is would that look too
cheap? I mean we are supposed to be her close friends and we really
don't want to be cheap but this wedding is running us each about $500
or $600 and I have to think about school in the fall (registration deposti)
and I have another friend's wedding in July in North Carolina!!!!!!!!!!
I don't even have a job right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please give me your advice
would that be a good enough gift from the 3 of us or is it cheap

nan&dave Posted: Jan 19, 2004 02:58 PM

Re: HELP......need advice. kind of long

I personally think thats okay. If she's not a bridezilla, she should be able to acknowledge how much you have all spent on her and should be grateful, that shes receiving a gift.

OctGroom Posted: Jan 19, 2004 02:59 PM

Re: HELP......need advice. kind of long

I hear what you're saying.. you want to do right by your friends.. and that is a very admiraadble thing to do.. however.. the reality of the situation is that there are a number of wedding upcoming and you're not working at the moment.

Real friends understand and believe me, they apprecaite whatever you can do for them. I think that it should always be about the thought.. not the dollar amount especially if you're going through a rough financial time.

Hope this helps!

D&J Posted: Jan 19, 2004 02:59 PM

Re: HELP......need advice. kind of long

How about creating an album with pictures of you doing things together..something centimental that doesnt cost that much $$.. or if you have a nice picture of all of you that you can put in a pretty frame, that would be centimental as well.. Those gifts have more meaning.

You dont need to spend a lot of $$ on a gift especially if you chipping in for the shower and giving an expensive wedding present.

Something that you put your heart into means more than a gift you buy in a store. JMO

btrflygrl Posted: Jan 19, 2004 03:08 PM

Re: HELP......need advice. kind of long

I've quickly adopted the 'give what you can afford' attitude and I think chipping in for the shower gift is a nice idea....after all you've already chipped in $150 TOWARDS throwing the shower. Plus you'll be getting her a wedding gift....go for the group gift!

gaby25 Posted: Jan 19, 2004 05:59 PM

Re: HELP......need advice. kind of long

thanks ladies, I really appreciate your advice and it has made me feel
alot better. The three of us have agreed to chip in for the gift and we thought
that $60 each isn't really that cheap and hopefully I will have a job soon
I have an interview this wednesday!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nferrandi Posted: Jan 19, 2004 06:02 PM

Re: HELP......need advice. kind of long

The group gift is fine. I wouldn't feel as though my BM were being cheap, weddings are a big expense for everyone involved. Just be there for her as her friend and that's the best gift you can give!

Rob-luvs-me Posted: Jan 19, 2004 07:16 PM

Re: HELP......need advice. kind of long

My personal opinion is if you are paying that much to host the shower for her than to spend the extra $60 a piece seems very generous - I think that is very giving for a shower that you are hosting! I see nothing wrong with spending that and combining your expenses to get a nicer gift -