Okay, so I am getting married in one month. My fiance's 'friend' calls him and asks if he can bring a guest to our wedding. His new girlfriend of 1 month is a girl that I do not like. I told fiance that I did not want her at my wedding. I feel that I should not have a guest at my wedding who I do not get a long with. Anyway, Fiance wanted me to tell him what to do but I told him that I wouldn't. I told him he knew how I felt. So fiance calls his friedn and explained things to him. His friend said that they were serious and if she could not attend then he didn't think he could make it to the wedding.(by the way, they have been friends since kindergarten) So, fiance told his friend that he could bring his girlfriend. Now I am more upset than anything. I told fiance that he chose his 'friend's' feelings over mine. Why was it so okay for his friend to not come to the wedding but not for fiance to say his girlfriend could not. I mean I am going to be his wife and he has talked to his 'friend' maybe 3 times this year. I need help!!...am I wrong?
Swan06
Posted:
Member since
Re: Hep...i need opinions. Not to happy with fiance!
On a positive note, I would seat her as far away from my view as possible. Honestly, you'll be so involved with everything else that you won't have time to worry about her. Don't stress yourself too much over this. You also don't want to fight with your fiance over this. Don't let her ruin what you've worked so hard for. Good luck !
ML110
Posted:
Member since
Re: Hep...i need opinions. Not to happy with fiance!
honestly... i think this is one of those things where you kind of have to bite the bullet. this friend obviously means a lot to your FI, since hes been in his life for so long... and it is FIs wedding, too.... he should be able to have the people there that he wants there. and i know you said you don't like this friends new gf, but honestly, there will be so many other people at your wedding that you won't even notice shes there. this is part of the compromise of being in a relationship- your having someone you don't like at your wedding so that FI can have someone he likes there...its stinks, i know, but sometimes its what we have to do
jimmysgrl
Posted:
Member since
Re: Hep...i need opinions. Not to happy with fiance!
Posted by ML110
honestly... i think this is one of those things where you kind of have to bite the bullet. this friend obviously means a lot to your FI, since hes been in his life for so long... and it is FIs wedding, too.... he should be able to have the people there that he wants there. and i know you said you don't like this friends new gf, but honestly, there will be so many other people at your wedding that you won't even notice shes there. this is part of the compromise of being in a relationship- your having someone you don't like at your wedding so that FI can have someone he likes there...its stinks, i know, but sometimes its what we have to do
I am so sorry but I agree. Just make sure she is not even within your direct line of sight.
LaurenluvsTJ
Posted:
Member since
Re: Hep...i need opinions. Not to happy with fiance!
Its sounds like this friend is very important to your FH. Honestly, there will be so many people there, and you will be so happy that you won't even notice she is there.
OctRo05
Posted:
Member since
Re: Hep...i need opinions. Not to happy with fiance!
Seat them at the table right next to the speakers!
KerriSteve
Posted:
Member since
Re: Hep...i need opinions. Not to happy with fiance!
I can't understand why someone you don't get along with would want to go to your wedding... Especially after you make a point of saying you don't want her there..
I guess it depends on how much you dislike her. If you are determined to not have her come to your wedding, call up FHs friend yourself. Tell him your sorry FH told him he could bring her but he can't, its your wedding & you want him there, but if he'll only come with her then stay home...
Thats what I would do if I really hated her.
marymoon
Posted:
Member since
Re: Hep...i need opinions. Not to happy with fiance!
I think what stinks is that he told the friend he could come anyway witout asking you first but he probbaly assumed that you'd do the right thing, which IMO is to say, ok, let him bring is gf. If he's known the guy since kindergarten it's way more important for FH to have the friend there than for you NOT to have the girl there, you know? Just think of it as one of the many sacrifices you'll have to make for your FH. After all he did call his friend and try to work it out in your favor. You won't even npotice her!
Blu-ize
Posted:
Member since
Re: Hep...i need opinions. Not to happy with fiance!
Some things are not black and white. He didn't pick his friend over you. Obviously your wedding day means a great deal to him as it does to you and he wants his friend there. It's a milestone in his life and his long time friend's presence makes it come full circle for him.
I'm sorry this may sound harsh, but try to put yourself in his shoes. What if one of your long time girlfriends was dating a guy that your FI couldn't stand. Would you not have your girlfriend there? Would he make you choose?
On the other hand, why would his friend even want to bring someone that he knows you can't stand? How comfortable will that be for them? Sounds like your FI's friend just doesn't want to come to the wedding stag. How serious can they be after one month of dating?
Just some perspective..again sorry if it's not what you want to hear.
tracie143
Posted:
Member since
Re: Hep...i need opinions. Not to happy with fiance!
O MY GOD. I have the same problem. My engagement party is on Friday and my FI best friend is brinding this girl that I use to be friends with and HATE.... now.. she is such a horrible person and only does what is best for her...
I told him to tell his friend I do not want her to come to my party but my FI is not like that at all. He said for me to mind my own business and let him get hurt if she will hurt him. I said she will use him for his money and leave him .. that is what she is known for...
To be honest I am not going to let that B**CH make me have a bad time. I will just make sure that I wear a red braclet in my bra ... cause she is evil.
Best of luck...
salsbride06
Posted:
Member since
Re: Hep...i need opinions. Not to happy with fiance!
I WOULD NOT MAKE A BIG DEAL OF IT AT THIS POINT. YOU HAVE TO MANY MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO THEN ARGUE WITH YOUR FIANCE AND HIS FRIEND. YOU WONT EVEN KNOW THAT SHE IS THERE BECAUSE YOU WILL BE SO INVOLVED WITH YOUR FAMILY AND REAL FRIENDS.
mia72098
Posted:
Member since
Re: Hep...i need opinions. Not to happy with fiance!
Thanks for all the advice guys. I understand where fiance is coming from but it just makes me mad because his 'friend' has not been a friend to him and has screwed him over on several occasions. My fiance rarely talks to him...maybe thre times a year at most and that is only bc fiance calls him. Weddings.....ahhhhh..so much stress!
exotica776
Posted:
Member since
Re: Hep...i need opinions. Not to happy with fiance!
I have to agree with everyone else. I dont think that your fh 'chose' his friend over you, i think its important to him that his friend goes and if that makes him happy then so be it. guys sometimes cave under pressure, maybe he didnt know what to you and that is why he asked you to do it in the first place. your wedding day is going to be beautiful and special, i can guarantee that you wont even give this girl a thought on your special day. just seat her far in the corner and pay her no mind.
ElegantBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Hep...i need opinions. Not to happy with fiance!
Seat them at the table right next to the speakers! ____________________________________
you beat me to the punch
Mrs. dleeny
Posted:
Member since
Re: Hep...i need opinions. Not to happy with fiance!
Posted by Blu-ize
Some things are not black and white. He didn't pick his friend over you. Obviously your wedding day means a great deal to him as it does to you and he wants his friend there. It's a milestone in his life and his long time friend's presence makes it come full circle for him.
I'm sorry this may sound harsh, but try to put yourself in his shoes. What if one of your long time girlfriends was dating a guy that your FI couldn't stand. Would you not have your girlfriend there? Would he make you choose?
On the other hand, why would his friend even want to bring someone that he knows you can't stand? How comfortable will that be for them? Sounds like your FI's friend just doesn't want to come to the wedding stag. How serious can they be after one month of dating?
Just some perspective..again sorry if it's not what you want to hear.
I agree with this
EmberLynn
Posted:
Member since
Re: Hep...i need opinions. Not to happy with fiance!
Honestly its not such a bad thing. You'll see her for less than a second, and in all honestly, it would be like she wasn't even there. She isn't worth having a fight with you FH with. Let it go. This day is yours, don't let it ruin it for you!
May05Bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Hep...i need opinions. Not to happy with fiance!
Posted by dleeny
Posted by Blu-ize
Some things are not black and white. He didn't pick his friend over you. Obviously your wedding day means a great deal to him as it does to you and he wants his friend there. It's a milestone in his life and his long time friend's presence makes it come full circle for him.
I'm sorry this may sound harsh, but try to put yourself in his shoes. What if one of your long time girlfriends was dating a guy that your FI couldn't stand. Would you not have your girlfriend there? Would he make you choose?
On the other hand, why would his friend even want to bring someone that he knows you can't stand? How comfortable will that be for them? Sounds like your FI's friend just doesn't want to come to the wedding stag. How serious can they be after one month of dating?
Just some perspective..again sorry if it's not what you want to hear.
I agree with this
I agree with most of posts here. You'll have so many guests you probably won't even notice her there.
i102bcute
Posted:
Member since
Re: Hep...i need opinions. Not to happy with fiance!
To be honest I think that you are making it a bigger deal then it really is. If that is 1 of his bestfriends then you should kinda step down a bit.
If the roles were reversed would you be able to tell your friend that there boyfriend couldn't come because your fiance didn't like them?
Just forget about it and enjoy your planning!
PegaLega
Posted:
Member since
Re: Hep...i need opinions. Not to happy with fiance!
I would try not to let it get to you too much. I understand you dont like her and dont want her there, but youwill be so involved in other things to truly notice her presence.
If it is very important to FH that he is there I would let her come, but seat them far away.
