dad passed away 2 yrs ago(memorial day weekend)... i dont want to have a candle or a poem or a picture..or anything.. i miss him wayy too much..and its starting to hit me now-more than ever... but does that make me a horrible person or a b--sh that i dont want to honor him? i just dont want to be depressed... i mean, its going to be hard enough when all these old ladies coming up to me,the day of...'too bad ur dad isnt around on ur wedding day)..ya kno??
and im POSITIVE they will be saying that..they already started--including my coworker.. 'wow that stinks ur dad isnt around to walk u down the aisle' ( said it bout 4 times already)
i dont know what to do.. and I dont want to ask my mom yet........ i dont really discuss his passing with her..i accidentally called her dad(in greek) when we were out shopping..and she slike 'what??' u miss him dont u..' and we both started crying in the middle of the store.. im crying now typing this..
so yea..am i a horrible heartless bish if he isnt included or mentioned anywhere at my wedding?
PLEASEE be honest
<333
SummerBride10
Posted:
Member since
Re: hey...
I'm sorry to hear about your dad. It sounds like you were really close to him I don't think it makes you a bad person to not honor him at your wedding. You don't need to have a picture or a candle or a poem to know he's watching over you. If you feel the need to do anything, maybe you can put in the program on a seperate page 'In Loving Memory.' The program is something you most likely will not see the day of. But of course, in the end, the decision is up to you and I think it is a hard decision to make. Once again, I'm really sorry to hear about your dad.
Christine N Ralph
Posted:
Member since
Re: hey...
as long as you know in your heart that he will be there for you- I dont see any reason why you should have to do somthing to memorialize him. Although like SummerBride said you might want to put somthing in the program about him.
FutureMrsF2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: hey...
Barbara, I lost my mother 10 years ago and it still seems like yesterday. I've cried alot over her in the past few months since I've gotten engaged. The one person that should be planning my wedding with me isn't going to be doing that now.
I thought very hard about how I would honor my mother at my wedding. I came to the conclusion that I too, couldn't do anything with pictures, candles, etc. simply because I'd be spending my wedding locked in the bridal suite crying my eyes out.
I decided that I am going to put a poem on the back page of the program. The day is going to be hard enough without her and I don't feel I need something in my face reminding me of that all day long. Even if everyone doesn't read it, I'll know the thought it there and thats it.
I know some people might not agree with my thoughts on this. Please understand that this is a PERSONAL PREFERENCE and this is the only thing I'd be able to do to make it through the day.
The same applies to you.
grkbarbie
Posted:
Member since
Re: hey...
thank you sooo much girls! <3333
ive tried to block out the exact day he passed away..i know its this weekend cuz its a holiday weekend..but i refuse to remember the exact date, nor have i gone to the cemetary.
on a lighter note.. my mom called me bishhnig how the cemetary pulled out all the 'plants' she planted for my dad... im like'mom, why?what kind of plants?'
she fkn planted those shrub thingies..the ones u see infront of ppls homes that spiral..the green mini tree bush thingies.. im like R U CRAZY?! u cant plant BUSHES AND TREES! lmaoo
FutureMrsF2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: hey...
Spiral Shrubs, lol! That is pretty funny!
grkbarbie
Posted:
Member since
Re: hey...
lol shes nuts
T E R I
Posted:
Member since
Re: hey...
Barbara, i'm soo sorry for you and i totally understand also.
My dad passed away also, in december it was 7 years. I am having my uncle walk me down the aisle, as my mom doesn't really want to, she rather sit back that day. and as of now, still not sure if i'm doing any kind of memory thing for him.
And i am the same way with the date, i don't remember the exact date that he died, i know around the time, and i know to leave my mom alone around that time
grkbarbie
Posted:
Member since
Re: hey...
walking down the aisle..great.. another issue.. it never ends.
i think im just guna shimmy down the aisle by myself
JellyBean09
Posted:
Member since
Re: hey...
I totally understand where you are coming from. When I get married (next July) my dad will be gone for only about 2 1/2 years. Which is a relatively small amount of time. My sister is just like you. She ha sonly been to the cemetery once and at that my mom made her come. She does talk about my dad but it was very hard in the beginning. She refuses to talk about that night or anything near the time of his passing.
I am the complete opposite. While the pain is still so real and extremely painful I am doing everything possible to have him be apart of my day. I am worried that maybe I am going over board and people would be annoyed by how much I am doing for him.
There is no real right or wrong answer. You do what you feel is right for you. You are remembering and honoring your dad's memory everyday. You do what you feel comfortable doing. My sister has helped me pick out things to help remember by dad by but there are just certain things I know I can't ask her to help me with or talk to her about. THe pain is horrible and I will never forget that feeling in my stomach but in some ways doing all these things in his memory is theraputic for me and my healing process.
CristinanBen2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: hey...
Im sorry to hear that. I think if you want to block it out you should. I can only imagine how hard it is for you. I see my dad who still gets upset when he goes to the cemetary to see my grandma and she only died 15 years ago when he was older. Death is really hard to come to terms with and yon't let your coworker get to you, Youre really nice cause if I was in your shoes I would have said something to her.
If you need anything, please remember were here for you
grkbarbie
Posted:
Member since
Re: hey...
u guys are soo sweet... i wouldve said something to her a lonnnnnnnnng time ago.. but we work side by side.. we're the only 2 in the office...
like today.. fh's friend sent me a myspace comment of a pic of his daughter (she just turned 1)..so my coworker of course was reading my screen and said :aww how precious'
im like 'yeaa isnt she?? shes going to be my flower girl'
coworker 'really?who is she?'
me 'wills friends daughter..i dont know any other babies'
coworker'well u dont HAVE to have a flower girl..just elope...'
everytime she sees this site or weddings come up she gets an attitude and says 'elope'
Mich2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: hey...
You do whatever makes you feel your best on that day. Don't worry about anybody else - no one can understand how you feel, and any way you choose to memorialize your memories (whether it be overt or covert) is up to you.
As my father passed away also, I am left to walk down the aisle alone. Maybe we can come up with some creative ideas to make it less sad
Keep your head up!
stinenandy2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: hey...
I don't think your a horrible person at all!!! Anytime someone loses someone close to them, its difficult and everyone has different ways of grieving. You can do whatever you want, in my opinion, he will be watching anyway!
Reymiliz
Posted:
Member since
Re: hey...
I am a ver sensitive person as well and once something brings my day down its down all day ... so i totally understand why you wouldnt want to put a memorial because you dont want something to remind you that he isnt there ... I know it must be tough and nothing will ever make you forget him .. the only place he needs to be on that day is in your heart ... and im positive he will be !!!!
Reymiliz
Posted:
Member since
Re: hey...
ii just read what you wrote about ur co worker ... i would have came out with so many remarks back to her ...lmao i have a very mean sarastic mouth .. uggg shes so jealous ... if shes married she more than likely had a wackkk a** wedding and if shes not shes a hater simple
grkbarbie
Posted:
Member since
Re: hey...
shes old.. has 2 daughters in their 20's... shes just dreading payign for their weddings..not that they are getting married
but yea she constantly says 'just elope' i think shes more pissed off bout the $ for the envelope than anything....silly isnt it? her mentallity is 'ugh another wedding = more money to spend'
Reymiliz
Posted:
Member since
Re: hey...
lmao what a grinch
Rosa29
Posted:
Member since
Re: hey...
I know how you feel. My Mom passed away suddenly 7 years ago and since I got engaged on 5/03/08 all I can think about is how hard this is going to be without her. We have decided to dedicate a 'picture table' with cards so anyone can sign and leave a message. I don't think you are a bad person. I feel you should deal with it anyway you feel the most comfortable, just know that he is always watching you and may not be there physically but will be in your heart.
