UPDATE:
Here is the letter I am writing.... Any tips or pointers. I am DYING to mention the gift thing. Ugh, how can I say it? Leave it out?
Jamie,
I never thought I would have to write such a letter to you but here goes…
I have always valued our friendship even though things have changed the past few years. I always looked forward to you being a part of my wedding planning times- IE- shower, bachelorette party and of course- the big day.
I understood why you couldn’t make the shower and even understood why you missed the bachelorette party. But the wedding- you attended and I was very happy to see you…
However, as much as I was happy to see you as a part of our special day- I had people complain about your date. People came up to me and told me that he offered them weed. The fact that he showed up in sneakers to a formal event baffled me. Honestly Jamie- I can’t believe you would let him come to my wedding like that! All snobbery aside- you just don’t go to a wedding in sneakers!!!!! I had tons of people come up to me and ask me who he was. Then, to make matters worst- you didn’t even have the courtesy to say goodbye to me. I asked where you went. People told me that you left abruptly because he puked on the table! OMG! He couldn’t control himself????? At a formal wedding? This was strictly “bar” behavior and the fact that it went this far at my wedding was an insult to Pat and I. Pat wanted to kill him. He kept giving your date strikes. He said third strike- he was kicking his assss.
What it boils down to Jamie- is that I am hurt and insulted that you just came to the wedding and allowed this behavior. Not to share the special day with Pat and I. Just looked at it like a random frat party.
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I have been posting up a storm at the Newlywed boards- not so much here. I figured I'd come and visit.
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Miss you all!
Now we have been married for one week. I have to say- the wedding was phenomenal. I had one thing occur that royally pisssed me off.... I wanted to wait to discuss it on here but I think now it's time...
I have a good friend (I thought) since I was 18. I met her at college and we went through a lot together. Past few years, she has dated some losers that pretty much bring her down and we lost touch. Well, I wouldn't say completely but we didn't talk and hang out as much.
I still invited her to the wedding and my Mom invited her to the shower.
She called my Mom and said she was coming to the shower. My Mom paid for her to come and she didn't show up. Fine. I contacted her and she said she had a nasty stomach virus. Understandable. These things happen.
Wedding rolls around. She comes. Brings her new boyfriend whom I never met. A hippie. Fine. I am cool with this. However, he showed up at a very formal wedding wearring sneakers, a do-rag complete with a button down shirt and dress pants. Interesting choice of attire but again, didn't bother me much once he took off the do rag. LOL.
Fast forward to the reception. Music is going. People are having fun. All of a sudden, a friend of mine comes up and says 'Who is that guy? He offered me weed.'
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More people came up to me and said he was annoying. Then I look and he is twirling my 85 year old Aunt on the dance floor and I think he almost broke her hip. Still didn't let it upset me. It was my wedding. F him and his quirky ways.
The night ends. My friends told me he BARFED on the TABLE!!!!! During dinner!!!!! He drank too much. My friend didn't even say goodbye- again- I looked past it thinking she was probably embarassed and just wanted to leave because her man was being a douche.
Well, a few days passed and we open our gifts. She didn't give me a gift. I was really upset. She has a good job. So I know it's not a money issue. My Mom said that if she was a good friend, she would have at least given me a gift for the shower and obviously come with a gift to the wedding. Who does that?????? I don't know how to deal with the situation. She never contacted me to say sorry for leaving so early without saying goodbye to explain. Nothing. I am hurt. I could understand if finances are tough but I think it boils down to jealousy. My Mom said that and it opened up my eyes. She never congratulated me on my engagement, she never complimented my ring. I noticed these things but kept it in the back of my mind. She was engaged to a guy and the wedding was called off so that may have something to do with it.
My Mom thinks she purposely brought this guy to the wedding to ruin it. I don't know if I would go that far.....
So, tell me- how would you handle this? A former good friend who came with a jackasss and gave no gift...
