Hi... I am here... I just haven't been in the wedding planning mood...

Hey girls... I just signed on and saw your post about where I have been...

Well I am here, but I have just been a little stressed lately...

One of my good friends just found out he is HIV Positive and I have just been finding it hard to plan a wedding when I feel like I should be doing something better... with my life... with my money... I don't know... you just never know what can happen from one day to the next.

Why do I feel like I am being selfish... when I know I am not... my FH and I work so hard for what we have, our Co-op, and our careers, everything but I feel like... its just a wedding, we can do this anyday and not throw all this money away on all of these things, and should be doing something better with it like donating or anything...

I don't want to put anyone in a depressing mood but I was so shocked when he told me... he doesn't have any family here and not many friends... I didn't know what to say, and I didn't know if I was saying the right things... I just didn't know what to do.. and I usually always have control and I didn't... I have no control of this situation and it just makes me sick... I have lost a lot of close ppl in my life and to see something like this to someone so young it makes me sick... I can hardly write this e mail right now...

Anyway... I didn't tell anyone of my friends about this b/c its not my place to tell... but I fell like I have no one to talk to, and so much pressure and pain inside... but I can't let him see or he will just get upset, which is why I logged on I know you girls are always here.

My FH is says and is most likely right... There is nothing I can do... and we just need to let it be... but why do I feel so selfish...

OH!... I also just got 1 of my wisdom tooth pulled today!!! OUCHY it hurts...

Ok... so I am here and I am back. I wish I could say I was gone b/c I was on vacation or something...

I missed you girls!