His family is going to break us up

I'm under a different name for obvious reasons. I don't know how many lurkers there are out there.

The story is way to long to sit here and type out but I knew all along his sister didn't like me and honestly I didn't like her. She's rude, obnoxious and nobody has ever put her in her place.

FSIL I guess you can say finally had words last weekend and I absolutely REFUSE to go to his parents house anymore. She lives at home and I booted her out of my wedding party.

Like I said ther's A LOT more to this story, but his family is wearing on our relationship & unfortunately I don't have the energy anymore to fight this never ending battle w/ them.

I looove fh and want things to work. We have pretty much all our vendors booked but I'm beyong pissed w/ the crap that went down last weekend.


I've been getting digs from his family since day 1 and fh is having a really hard time believing his family is wrong.

Anyone else having real BAD issues w/ In Laws??????

Yes, i had horrible issues. In fact ex-FH left me 12 DAYS before our wedding, after a phone call from his aunt. We had a fight about the rehearsal dinner( long story) he spoke to his parents about the issue, we were okay, he assured me he loved me & couldn't wait to marry me...10 minutes later his aunt called and he was literally out the door and never looked back.
FM me if you need to talk, families can be rough!

If this is happening now .. then most likely it will happen after the wedding. The question you should be asking yourself is do you love FH enough to be dealing with this for the rest of your life??

If you had mentioned that FH supports you and is on your side with this whole situation. Then I would say EFF his family and once you and him get married you will form your own little family and move far away from his. But you stated that your FH doesn't think his family is wrong and that is a HUGE problem. He needs to be on your side if he's going to marry you. Not be against you.

So he's either going to the cut the cord, stand up for his future wife and realize his family is wrong. Or things are not going to work out. Sorry you are going thru this. It sounds like a tough situation and one thing I've learned is that when something starts wrong it always ends up wrong. I really hope you can solve this issue and marry your FH and have a beautiful family and keep far far away from his.

My Mom keeps asking me if I want to deal with this for the rest of my life because you don't just marry the guy, you marry their family.


Fh is on my side but I know he's having a VERY hard time with all of this as I am. He is the twinkle in his mother's eye and at 32 yrs old he needs to realize his family is not perfect. When the fight broke out he took my side and told me he pretty much disowned his sister for the things she said but his mom made a comment how he has forgiven me and not his sister.

I didn't do anything for him to forgive me for. I even apologized to this sister when this all went down and I didn't do anything. She's 28, lives at home, doesn't have a job, doesn't pay rent, never contributes a penny to their household NOTHING!!!!!


Fh knows his sister was wrong but like I aforementioned, I've been getting digs from his mother and sister for the past few years.

I do see that you guys said your EX fiancee's. This is worrying me

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Posted by cleokizzy

i'm so sorry you have to go through this!

as you have said, there is more to your story but coming from someone who had major issues with in-laws - i know how hard, stressful and emotionally draining it is!

based on my personal experience, FH initially defended his family too because, well, it is HIS family. Until things got worse and i got sooo upset that he finally took a stand - to be with me. from then on, even with all the drama, we had the best wedding.

hopefully your FH would see things clearly soon. ignore his family for now because they won't be able to do much soon as you are his WIFE! take whatever they say as a grain of salt, let it in on one ear and exit on the other.

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Did his family come to the wedding?? I can handle his Mom, she's a little more mature then his sister but nobody ever puts his sister in her place. Supposedenly this time they did but I refure to step foot into their house anytime soon.

i think you should have a conversation with your FH and make sure he'll always be on your side and that he needs to open his eyes and see that his family can be wrong sometimes ....

and then, your FH needs to tell his family to stop being ridiculous ... that he's going to marry you and he doesn't want to hear their comments about it.

ps: do you have any idea WHY they don't like you?

I am so sorry that you have to go through this!! I think you and FH really need to sit down and talk all of this out. No matter what happens in the future or how far away you both choose to live, they will still be his family and most likely these problems won't go away. You need to find out if he is seriously ready to commit to putting you first.

Good luck!!!

I am so sorry you are going through this!

My FH and I have been going through this as well with the InLaws. They are all horrible people and do nothing but talk about us(both).

You really need to sit with FH and talk about this, can you both really handle what will come in the future. It can be a very hard road down the line.

If you need to talk you can FM me.

Good Luck and I am sorry you are going through this!

You're either going to have to suck it up and be the bigger person-
and talk to her.
Tell her you guys are going to be sisters in law from now until forever and that you'd love to work on being civil and maybe one day liking each other
(for the benefit of your MARRIAGE)
although I know it's VERY hard.

Or
Getting your FH to stick up for you and talk to his family about being nicer to his future wife.
He needs to tell them to accept you in as a daughter instead of pushing their son away.
PERIOD.

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Posted by Annie516

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Posted by cleokizzy

i'm so sorry you have to go through this!

as you have said, there is more to your story but coming from someone who had major issues with in-laws - i know how hard, stressful and emotionally draining it is!

based on my personal experience, FH initially defended his family too because, well, it is HIS family. Until things got worse and i got sooo upset that he finally took a stand - to be with me. from then on, even with all the drama, we had the best wedding.

hopefully your FH would see things clearly soon. ignore his family for now because they won't be able to do much soon as you are his WIFE! take whatever they say as a grain of salt, let it in on one ear and exit on the other.

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Did his family come to the wedding?? I can handle his Mom, she's a little more mature then his sister but nobody ever puts his sister in her place. Supposedenly this time they did but I refure to step foot into their house anytime soon.

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OMG!! I can soooo relate! sounds like my situation with FSIL. she has been difficult the whole time since day 1, and he finally spoke to her and hasn't helped. We have come to terms that we need to agree to disagree with her behavior, and how she is going about things. We got into a HUUGEE fight over her and didn't speak for 3 days.

I am sorry you are going through this and hopefully it will get better. Hoping the same for myself.

FSILs and me don't get along and FH defends me as much as possible. I have thought a lot about wanting to continue with this for the rest of my life but to me, the important thing is that FH has my back. always. If that's not the case with you, i would talk to him about it. Imagine how he feels too. They need to have respect for you and he probably feels really stressed about it.

I can't be fake and his sisters have confronted him about my 'attitude.' I am very friendly and and generally well liked while they are not so it's clearly not me. I have learned to grit my teeth and TRY. I TRY to text them to open up communication b/c I'd rather not speak to them. If FH has to tell them something, I text them on his behalf i.e. 'FH wants me to tell you that... '

The relationship is far from perfect but FH is on my side and he lets me fight my own battles, he never tells me to give in or just agree with his sisters.

Hope this gives you some hope.

Here's a perfect example of a dig I got from him mom not that long ago.



They live in Suffolk, I live in Nassau. She works in MY hometown. My entire family lives in MY hometown. My nieces, nephews, Aunt, Uncle, Sisters, Grandparents and so on.

One day we were talking about work and she asked me why people from(my hometown) ******* were stupid. She said that people from ******* ask her the most stupidest questions and that when she worked in the N. Babylon store the people there never asked stupid questions like people from ******


In a nutshell she called everyone in my my hometown stupid KNOWING me and my entire family is from that town.

I just made a new account too!!

LOL FILs are stalking my wedding and causing so many problems. I had to change my account name so I could vent properly.

I totally understand how you feel.

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Posted by Annie516

Here's a perfect example of a dig I got from him mom not that long ago.



They live in Suffolk, I live in Nassau. She works in MY hometown. My entire family lives in MY hometown. My nieces, nephews, Aunt, Uncle, Sisters, Grandparents and so on.

One day we were talking about work and she asked me why people from(my hometown) ******* were stupid. She said that people from ******* ask her the most stupidest questions and that when she worked in the N. Babylon store the people there never asked stupid questions like people from ******


In a nutshell she called everyone in my my hometown stupid KNOWING me and my entire family is from that town.

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Awe sweety, dont PERSONALIZE this. If shes trying to attack you and make nasty comments thats very sad for her. His family may be sick toxic people. Seen it a thousand times. Been through it too. It sounds so elevated and out of hand. Is there a therapist or someone you can talk to? Alone, and then maybe together with FH... I know for me if Im so emotionally involved or asking others that know the situation, then I dont get the best advice. I get the advice I want to hear, not need to hear. People on here can share their experience with you, but a therapist or person who consistently deals with various types of family of origin issues would be able to guide you along. Not only in dealing with them, but with being able to communicate with FH. Even if you sit down and he always 'takes your side' thats no way to live. Crazy, inappropriate, etc,- they are his family. (I thought of the movie the Matrix when she tells Keanu that he can't try to bend the spoon, he has to bend his mind.) LOL. Im a dork.

I honestly don't think leaving a situation bc of not wanting to deal with family is the best thing. I did that, ran... Maybe it'll be better, but maybe it wont. I just wouldn't want to even put another person, especially the man I love so much, into a cornered place of, it's me or them. Separation is always good and some distance helps, but I'd rather go for a long term solution on how you can better deal with these people.

Hang in there. I'll say a prayer that your situation gets better and not worse. 'Think twice, speak once. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason'- That saying always helps me!