A) Are you open for my date and B) How much do you want for it?
It soooooooooooooooooooooooo rubs me the wrong way to see 'godly' advertising. It's disgusting. I have a reverend im looking at already who came as referral but if I found a cheaper one, I'd switch quick.
Please don't judge me for my nonchalant view of those men/women who marry us. I just think if I went to church often i'd have a officiant, I don't so what is one going to offer me that another won't? Personal service, humor, a great show, a few songs and dances? Nothing other than reading the same few words in my mind. Just tell me how much 'God' wants me to pay for this? Cause I'll tell you this. The Town Hall only charged me $40 and the words were pretty much the same.
So this is an honest question. Im just cutting through the red tape.. Lets answer the question Mr. Priest, Reverend, Pastor.. whatever... HOW MUCH?
Is that 'rude'? If so, I'll just ignore their emails. Otherwise I am HONESTLY curious.. if they are cheaper.. id hire them.
Sweetness
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Re: Honestly, do you think it's rude to....
It wouldn't be rude to ask. THe way you ask it could come off rude if you don't use the right choice of words. Instead of how much you want, How about What kind of fee/donation would be be in order. If you don't like the price, just tell them you have a couple other appointments and would like to talk to additional clergy to make sure the one you choose is the compatible with you and your fiance on your one special day...
mrswask
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Re: Honestly, do you think it's rude to....
I don't think it's rude to ask - but I think you should maybe ask in a 'softer' way - 'what is your fee?', 'how much do you charge for your services?' - something like that!
What-Now
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Re: Honestly, do you think it's rude to....
Posted by Xelindrya
It soooooooooooooooooooooooo rubs me the wrong way to see 'godly' advertising.
I feel the say way! I know they have to make a living too, but I just feel there is something very 'Un-Godly about a priest/rabbi/reverend putting in an ad!
But hey, if they are soliciting their services you, as a consumer, need to know the price, rigth? So ask away!
mlp924
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Re: Honestly, do you think it's rude to....
I don't think it is wrong at all! They certainly are in this to make money (at least for the most part) I voted for sure it takes balls
Great choices in the poll BTW
Maribelle7777
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Re: Honestly, do you think it's rude to....
I don't find it rude to ask. But I would phrase the question like 'what is your normal compensation'?
Do you mind if I ask - if you are not religious, then why are you having a religious officiant in the first place? Why not just get a judge or a friend to officiate your ceremony?
ETA: I think that some reverends/rabbis may advertise because they may not be associated with a church/temple and knowing that there are people who are also not associated with a parish or a temple, it is their way of saying 'yes we are out here and you can use my services if you wish'. Alot of priests do not perform services outside of a church or will not marry someone that is not part of the parish he works in. I don't think the religious officiants that advertise do it out of ways of making money. I think they know their services are needed and that they want people to know they are willing to perform this type of service.
mich
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Re: Honestly, do you think it's rude to....
I see nothing wrong with asking tactfully. Since wedding planning has begun, my view on clergy has changed a little when I have finally come to learn the 'business' aspect of it.
kathleenmarie
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Re: Honestly, do you think it's rude to....
I think if they are advertising then you have a right to ask how much. I dont think they are the same as a pastor, priest, clergy, ect... that is affiliated with a church. Otherwise they wouldnt be advertising. They are just licenced to marry. So, I would say go ahead and ask! We asked our pastor at the church what the fee is. You gotta know either way! If your not attached to any church or person, and price is what seems more important to you. Do what ya gotta do. :)
Xelindrya
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Re: Honestly, do you think it's rude to....
Hrm Ok.. great suggestions all around.
No offense but it would SERIOUSLY crack me up if I get bothered by these people when I decide their prices aren't right.
Odd thing is, you'd think they'd be up front. I mean unless they have 'packages' at which point I think I'll lose what little faith I have left.
Xelindrya
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Re: Honestly, do you think it's rude to....
Posted by mlp924
I don't think it is wrong at all! They certainly are in this to make money (at least for the most part) I voted for sure it takes balls
Great choices in the poll BTW
That's I try to be honest. heh
oakslady
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Re: Honestly, do you think it's rude to....
i think that it is great they are advertising - i for one would never have found my rev if she didnt advertise - it saves me from having to look all over the world for someone - if you dont want to know about it just tell them - opt out of the emails - or block them - i dont think you will get a rev for 40.00 but hay you might as well ask jmo
ChristineC68
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Re: Honestly, do you think it's rude to....
I would phrase it differently, but I think it would benefit all of you to know up front if a business transaction is possible instead of wasting anyone's time.
KCDC
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Re: Honestly, do you think it's rude to....
Make sure you ask. We got married at St. Thomas the Apostle in West Hempstead. At rehearsal, we were told (by the nasty people who do the rehearsals) we had to give them a 'donation' of $300 (or thereabouts). I was shocked. We were going to give cash, but had to break out the check book instead!
Neither of us were members of the parish, but we loved Msngr. LaSante. He married my husband's cousin, so we had an in. He was so cool, so it was worth it. He reminds us of Michael Keaton. He joked, kept everyone interested instead of falling asleep. He made us write essasys about why we wanted to marry eachother, and then read them aloud. I actually like watching him on the video.
BUT ASK. JUST SAY, WHAT'S THE DONATION? THAT'S ALL. BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT ITS CONSIDERED ANYWAY!!
Maribelle7777
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Re: Honestly, do you think it's rude to....
The 'donation' (I wish they would call it a 'fee') because people get ticked off about 'donation', but it is for overhead - ie: lighting, for altar boys, for air conditioning or heating, the wine and bread if you're having a Nuptial Mass. I don't know why people are upset about paying it (FH included). You would still have to pay a fee if you used another place, no?
As for Monsignor Lisante, I know him as he and my mother were friends and co-workers when he was working at the Diocese of Rockville Centre. In fact he was one of the officiants at my mother's funeral mass, which was really touching. I have met him a few times and yes, he is very personable and interesting and friendly. He was also the head of the Christopher's (a religious organization) at one point a few years ago before they asked him to become the pastor of St. Thomas. Anyone who gets married by him is (IMO) very lucky!
NYCHICK
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Re: Honestly, do you think it's rude to....
I asked the firrst day I met with the priest at St Thomas the Apostle. I don't think it is rude to ask at all. The way you ask is the issue
palebride
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Re: Honestly, do you think it's rude to....
i actually just emailed a reverend yesterday and asked if he was available for our date and if we could set up a time to meet with him to discuss his serivces.....i didn't hink it was rude! i have a meeting with him tomorrow...i'll let you know how it goes!
KCDC
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Re: Honestly, do you think it's rude to....
Maribelle....isnt he the best? We were able to get him after we booked St. Patricks in Babylon (we werent thrilled with our priest) I know it sounds horrible to say, but the fact that both sets of parents are divorced, he looked down on us. And we called my dh's cousin and asked if she would be able to get him for us, and we'd even go there (to W. Hempstead), and then when we were able to we were so happy.
And then he christened my daughter 2 years ago. We had a nice private ceremony in the chapel. I'm tellin ya, I'n not a very religious person, and you probably won't catch me at church too often, but if Mnsgr. LaSante was in my parish, I'd be a good church going girl. He just makes it interesting and fun!!!
