OK, so my MIL offered to pay for the honeymoon since my parents are paying for EVERYTHING.
My FI went to visit her and now she doesn't have enough money...she decided to pay off her car (An ML Mercedes) but she doesn't have any money.
Now she is only giving us $1500. My parents and I are furious. FI's solution is to cut back on our honeymoon plans and instead of staying at an all-inclusive on the beach...he wants to stay at some 3-star hotel, no meals or drinks and 10 minutes from the beach.
I'm not a bridezilla at all but I feel like I'm being brat. If we aren't going to go somewhere nice, I don't want to go at all.
It's not like our honeymoon was ultra extravagent...we were planning on 6 nights in Mexico at an all-inclusive for $2500 with air.
Am I being unreasonable? I don't want to compromise on this...
PS - My Mom and MIL were going to split the shower and now my Mom says she'll pay for the whole thing if she pays for our whole honeymoon. She hasn't even acknowledged the gesture!
CubanBride
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Re: Honeymoon Blues....
If she can't afford it, then she can't afford it. I wish my own mother would give us $1500.
Can't you just add $1000 to the $1500 she is giving you and still go on your Mexico honeymoon?
capgrl26
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Re: Honeymoon Blues....
That's exactly what I said to FI. My parents gave us $1,000 for an engagement present that we haven't used. He wants to use it for a house...ugh! I'm so frustrated!
Johnny&Maur
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Re: Honeymoon Blues....
This is my honest opinion....but i don't think anyone has a right to be furious at a smaller amount of $$ than expected...you already said your parents are paying for everything...and you have over half your honeymoon paid for. Honestly...and i am not trying to accuse you of asking for too much..i know everyones situation is different...but work with what you have, be thankful that everyone is even pitching in to help you have a wonderful day...and talk more to FH about putting the $1,000 engagement gift towards the honeymoon. Yes $1,000 is a lot of money...but when it comes to a home, it really won't make much of a difference towards a down payment.
Just my opinion!!
LO13LO13
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Re: Honeymoon Blues....
Posted by Johnny&Maur
This is my honest opinion....but i don't think anyone has a right to be furious at a smaller amount of $$ than expected...you already said your parents are paying for everything...and you have over half your honeymoon paid for. Honestly...and i am not trying to accuse you of asking for too much..i know everyones situation is different...but work with what you have, be thankful that everyone is even pitching in to help you have a wonderful day...and talk more to FH about putting the $1,000 engagement gift towards the honeymoon. Yes $1,000 is a lot of money...but when it comes to a home, it really won't make much of a difference towards a down payment.
Just my opinion!!
i agree here, you are lucky to have everyone paying for your wedding, if we only had to come up with $1000 i would be estatic!! you still have so much time until the wedding why can't you just save up the extra $$$$ for the honeymoon? i understand your feeling about wanting the nice honeymoon, you're only going to have one honeymoon, you want to make it good! IMHO good luck
Laura1976
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Re: Honeymoon Blues....
Your extremely lucky not to have to pay for your wedding and most of your honeymoon. Splurge and pay for the exxtra $1000 for your honeymoon!
ckgmwedding
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Re: Honeymoon Blues....
I know that you had your heart set on getting the full amount, but you can easily save 1000 for the honeymoon. In the past year and couple of months, I have saved 8,000 to my share of the wedding( I still have 4,000 more to go). It can be done. It just means cutting out the things you love for a little while.
randella
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Re: Honeymoon Blues....
While I would be pissed too as this is what you thought was promised to you, and then she chose to do something else with the money so that you are left with less.. BUT, in reality- all you are short is 1,000 bucks.. that is definitely something you can save for.
Bunnymonkey
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Re: Honeymoon Blues....
you can save 1,000 very quickly if you set your mind to it. You can even have your place of work direct deposit 50.00 per week from your paycheck into a savings account - you won't even feel it. Trust me, I make pennies and I do this - it's easy.
Good luck!
DebsNY
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Re: Honeymoon Blues....
I can undersand where that can be frustrating... i hate when people promise you something and get you all excited about it, and then change their minds...
I agree w/ the other girls though... you can def. save that extra $1000... i was just saving pocket change for a few months and saved up over $100 dollars... just put away some money every week and you'll be there in no time... good luck!
halfpintny
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Re: Honeymoon Blues....
I do understand what you're dealing with. FMIL/FFIL are not giving us a dime (there even seems to be a debate over the rehearsal dinner as well now). We did ask them to contribute something (the DJ or the photographer) but they declined. It has put a strain on my parents and FH and I. FH is very embarassed and has asked me if I hold any resentment towards them...I say no but there certainly is a part of me that is ticked off. What adds to it is that they are not in a financial bind they are just chea...err....frugal. I say take what you can get from them and put in the 1K.
You should also consider what meals and drinks are going to cost you. FH and I are planning on staying at all inclusive BECAUSE it works out cheaper. Do you want to go your whole honeymoon thinking about how much a drink costs and whether you can afford to spend extra money on champagne or an appitizer?
eogara
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Re: Honeymoon Blues....
As annoying as it is that she reneged on something she had previously promised you, in reality I don't know a single person who didn't pay for their own honeymoon in full. That said, if more than half of yours is paid for, as well as your entire wedding, thank your lucky stars and pay the additional thousand.
BethGail
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Re: Honeymoon Blues....
i too feel your pain! FH's fam isnt paying for anything...they offered money for a RD but didnt offer enough to cover it really and then said that since we arent having a REHearSAL that we shouldnt have an RD at all...then they offered to pay for the air portion of our HM (balance of the HM is due in 10 days) and when we asked them for it they were like uhh.....we wre going to give it to you closer to the wedding...so they ended up giving it to us, but just the amout that they offered for the RD....i know how you feel. i am lucky they are giving us what htey are giving us BUT we/my fam are paying for alot else...and it is SO soon at this point for them to change their mind...
bluesashbride
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Re: Honeymoon Blues....
Posted by Laura1976
Your extremely lucky not to have to pay for your wedding and most of your honeymoon. Splurge and pay for the exxtra $1000 for your honeymoon!
totally agree with laura, you are very lucky.
if you really want this fancy honeymoon, you could put it off a few months and save the extra money, or work an extra job like i do to get what you want. honestly complaining about what you deserve to be given is kinda being a brat, but at least you acknowledge that.
btrflygrl
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Re: Honeymoon Blues....
I'm SO sorry Val....
honestly, I've heard from many girls that when you opt to do the non-all inclusive, you end up spending MORE money than you would have with an all-inclusive.
$2500 is an AWESOME price.....what about shortening your stay there? I'm sorry you have to deal with this garbage.....but she's got a year to go. You don't have to pay in full for the HM when you book, to my knowledge.
Jen2999
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Re: Honeymoon Blues....
1000 isnt that bad at all. I understand why you are angry, but really, it isnt the end all to your perfect honeymoon.
Marisa M
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Re: Honeymoon Blues....
I understnd your frustration, my FILs are not giving us a dime toward the wedding. - However, she is giving you $1,500 which IMO is MORE than generous. - Nether your parents or you FILs are OBLIGATED to give you any $$$ toward the wedding ! It's a wonderful gesture that they are being so generous (your parents more so) but come on ! You can't save $1,000 in the next 10 months to pay the balance of your own honeymoon ?? Appease you FH, leave the engagement gift from your parents in the bank, and put away $100 a month beginning in January - There's your dream honeymoon. - Paid in full
Butterflybride
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Re: Honeymoon Blues....
I don't know if your travel agent has this option, but if they do, you could always do a honeymoon registry. Your agent will give you cards that you can send out with you wedding shower invitations and then people can contribute money towards your honeymoon as a shower gift. Just an idea...
Aga
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Re: Honeymoon Blues....
just to add, it has been my experience (I have been a travel agent for over 5 years) that if you are going to go anywhere in the Caribbean I wouldnt go less than 4 stars on 6 star scale... I would just try to save up a little more money and go with a better hotel...
Borricuamorena0905
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Re: Honeymoon Blues....
I agree... save .. you are already blessed with your family contributing. YOu really can't rely on people because everyone is human and has faults and their own lives..
My FH is the same way with money,.. We went to Jamaica this year, and he said he onky have X amount to spend. I wanted a better vacation, so I put in the extra. save, save, save, you can have anything you desire...
