Honoring my grandparents and two uncles (long one - sorry)
Maybe you can help me with this one. My FH are getting marriend in my grandparents' church. I requested it bc they have both passed away (G'pa in '82 and G'ma in '92). Additionally two of their sons (my uncles) have also passed on (one in Vietnam in '66 and the other in '78 or '79). This is my dad's family. The only way I can have them at my wedding is in spirit and I thought their church is the closest way of accomplishing that.
I have an enormous adoration for those from my dad's side who have passed on. (No close extended family from my mom's side has passed away, knock on wood.)
Because of my love for them, I was hoping to present each of my dad's siblings (two sister and a brother) and my dad a tulip for each member of his immediate family that has passed away. I wanted it to be part of the ceremony.
I brought the idea up to FH and he didn't like it because he said then he'd have to do the same for his family. Both sets of his grandparents have passed away. He never knew his paternal grandparents at all. He's lost several paternal uncles as well.
I understand his point - he is not close with his extended family at all. And if we did have to honor everyone, we'd be there all night. And if we honor just my family, his family will think it is a slap in the face.
But I really want to honor my family, and I'd prefer it a public honor. What do you think I should do?
Some things I've thought of are to reserve the first four seats of the family pew by placing the tulips on the pew.
I also thought of having my two aunts and uncle walk down the aisle with their tulips but then would my dad walk with them, then come back to get me?
Another idea I had is to have each aunt and my uncle sit at the end of the pew and I would pass a flower to each as I walked down the aisle, but not announce that is what I am doing. (I'd tell them beforehand.) I like this idea the best but I am afriad FMIL will later ask why then get all POed because we didn't do something like that for FH's family.
What do you girls think? My family is very important to me and I want to acknowledge them on my most special day.
I have an enormous adoration for those from my dad's side who have passed on. (No close extended family from my mom's side has passed away, knock on wood.)
Because of my love for them, I was hoping to present each of my dad's siblings (two sister and a brother) and my dad a tulip for each member of his immediate family that has passed away. I wanted it to be part of the ceremony.
I brought the idea up to FH and he didn't like it because he said then he'd have to do the same for his family. Both sets of his grandparents have passed away. He never knew his paternal grandparents at all. He's lost several paternal uncles as well.
I understand his point - he is not close with his extended family at all. And if we did have to honor everyone, we'd be there all night. And if we honor just my family, his family will think it is a slap in the face.
But I really want to honor my family, and I'd prefer it a public honor. What do you think I should do?
Some things I've thought of are to reserve the first four seats of the family pew by placing the tulips on the pew.
I also thought of having my two aunts and uncle walk down the aisle with their tulips but then would my dad walk with them, then come back to get me?
Another idea I had is to have each aunt and my uncle sit at the end of the pew and I would pass a flower to each as I walked down the aisle, but not announce that is what I am doing. (I'd tell them beforehand.) I like this idea the best but I am afriad FMIL will later ask why then get all POed because we didn't do something like that for FH's family.
What do you girls think? My family is very important to me and I want to acknowledge them on my most special day.
