Hope YOur all Sitting

guysbride2003 Posted: May 25, 2003 09:28 AM

Hope YOur all Sitting

I will be getting married on July 10,2003 @ crest hollow country club.. here is goes we were recomended to use this Cantor and we met with him, nice guy.... but I wasnt sure you know when you get that feeling. Plus we also got some remarks that he is a reform cantor, and since my fiance and I are both jewish we should go conservative, I sent the cantor a really nice email about why we feel we the way we do,
Dear Cantor,
I have been thinking about the wedding ceremony for awhile since both Guy & I are Both Jewish we decided to go with a conservative Rabbi. I have spoke with my family and we all had concerns with doing the right thing. I wanted to let you know that this is a big decision planning a wedding so with that in mind instead of a reform wedding I want to go Conservative... I hope you understand and thank you for all your help with the mom situation it was very much appreciated. We have found a Rabbi that works out of Jewish Center and we will be using him.. I know deep in my heart we have made the right decsion. It simply, conflicts have arisen within the families and to avoid and not offend and start our married life off without resentment....you need to have a different Cantor...........it has nothing to do with you it is appeasing and all involved.it has nothing to do with your denomination of religiosity,but rather it has to with family requests and trying to accommoadate soooooo many interests.

He Wrote me back an email asking,I can't believe that you have cancelled my services considering all the work and time that I put into your wedding. Since you are using someone else, I have to charge you a consultation fee. Please send a check for $125.00 to:

All the work... WE Are the Ones that had to Drive all the way from Brooklyn to Farmingdale.... and All we did so far was write about why I love my fiance and how we met and he had to do the say.... He didn't explain how the ceremony works Like the other Rabbi we just found did, He even gave us a Bride and groom handbook..... please what should I do

Stacey1403 Posted: May 25, 2003 09:35 AM

Re: Hope YOur all Sitting

Unfortunately I think you may have to pay him. He did offer services to you and although you may not think they are a lot he still still helped you out. It stinks but at least now you are confident in the decision you made

JodiBabe Posted: May 25, 2003 09:47 AM

Re: Hope YOur all Sitting

I agree with Stacy. Although I think it stinks but it is better that you feel that you have made the right choice now.

guysbride2003 Posted: May 25, 2003 09:59 AM

Re: Hope YOur all Sitting

You feel I should Give him 125 dollars

JodiBabe Posted: May 25, 2003 10:02 AM

Re: Hope YOur all Sitting

I think you might have to.

OctBride05 Posted: May 25, 2003 10:09 AM

Re: Hope YOur all Sitting

did he tell you this when you first met with him, did you sign a contract that states if you cancelled there would be a consultation fee? if you didnt then i dont think you should have to pay him.

guysbride2003 Posted: May 25, 2003 10:15 AM

Re: Hope YOur all Sitting

I dont remember signed a thing..... I have to ask my Fiance... he's sleeping and doesn't know about this... I will call my mom and ask if she remembers anything....

Misty Posted: May 25, 2003 10:31 AM

Re: Hope YOur all Sitting

Guysbride you have forum mail....

CutieLipps Posted: May 25, 2003 11:36 AM

Re: Hope YOur all Sitting

I think you should ignore his request for money. If you didn't sign any contract then you don't have to pay him. Was there anything on paper or verbally said about a consultation fee? If not, then just ignore his request. JMO

sophie78 Posted: May 25, 2003 11:53 AM

Re: Hope YOur all Sitting

You don't need to give him anything. Was there a contract that stated his policy? Absolutely not.

BrideJamie Posted: May 25, 2003 01:00 PM

Re: Hope YOur all Sitting

Guysbrides you have FM...thanks

butterfly20 Posted: May 25, 2003 02:04 PM

Re: Hope YOur all Sitting

you should call up the temple he is from.. if you didnt sign anything you shouldnt have to pay anything.

julybride444 Posted: May 25, 2003 03:37 PM

Re: Hope YOur all Sitting

Ignore his request, or write back that you didn't see anything that states there is a cancellation fee or consultation fee. Say you are sorry that he feels this way, but you don't feel that you should pay him.

Then, ignore any further contact from him.

guysbride2003 Posted: May 25, 2003 06:20 PM

Re: Hope YOur all Sitting

He works out of his house....

KFA5477 Posted: May 25, 2003 06:55 PM

Re: Hope YOur all Sitting

I THINK YOU SHOULD NOT PAY HIM
UNLESS YOU SIGNED SOMETHING REGARDING CANCELATION TERMS

Bacardi527 Posted: May 25, 2003 07:06 PM

Re: Hope YOur all Sitting

I agree- If he didnt specify any cancel fee on the initial visit- I would ignore his request- I think that you were very nice in even writing him- and you cant go around giving people money just because you had a conversation with someone- He is just trying to get over- the letter was good enough and if no contract was signed- its null and void-

glittergal2811 Posted: May 25, 2003 09:30 PM

Re: Hope YOur all Sitting

If there is nothing in writing, THERE IS NO QUESTION- you DO NOT have to pay him...That is ridiculous!

NovBride Posted: May 25, 2003 10:23 PM

Re: Hope YOur all Sitting

I agree, if you did not sign a contract stating a cancellation policy/fee I would not pay him. I was going to say if he was affiliated with a temple to make a donation to the temple, but since he doesn't I don't know what to say. This is a tough one. He doesn't seem as if he is in the 'business' for the right reason...and defiantely not a good representative of the faith.

corinne7477 Posted: May 25, 2003 11:14 PM

Re: Hope YOur all Sitting

no contract no stated fee. Coming to visit him doesnt cost 125.00 its cheaper to go to a shrink which is what he should do.

Jen2704 Posted: May 26, 2003 01:11 AM

Re: Hope YOur all Sitting

Definitely look on the contract if you have one and see if it states anything about a cancellation fee. If it says that you do then you are bound to the contract.