how about some tfln... (sorta wr)
(850):
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
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(414):
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
(262):
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
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(970):
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
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(530):
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
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(217):
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
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and some fml
Today, my 32 year old brother came to spend the weekend at my house. I woke up at 3am to him drunk and drawing pictures on my new carpet with his pee. FML
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Today, I helped my fiancé pack up and head to Texas for a business trip. I'm not only going to miss him, but I'll also miss my car keys that I accidentally left in his car. I drive for a living. FML
--
Today, my boyfriend and I were under the impression his house was empty. We were getting intimate, and being very loud about it. Afterwards, my boyfriend comes back up stairs from making a cup of tea, only to let me know his mother is sitting in the living room quietly reading a book. FML
--
Today, I was called out of an important meeting. Why? My husband had somehow gotten his penis trapped in the vacuum cleaner and couldn't reach the 'off' switch. FML
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Today, I realized my girlfriend forgot her red bra on my bed after leaving my house. I smelled it, and it smelled great, which gave me a spontaneous erection. I quickly hid it when my mom entered the room. She came to ask me if I'd seen where she left her red bra. FML
--
the end
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
---
(414):
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
(262):
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
---
(970):
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
--
(530):
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
--
(217):
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
--
and some fml
Today, my 32 year old brother came to spend the weekend at my house. I woke up at 3am to him drunk and drawing pictures on my new carpet with his pee. FML
--
Today, I helped my fiancé pack up and head to Texas for a business trip. I'm not only going to miss him, but I'll also miss my car keys that I accidentally left in his car. I drive for a living. FML
--
Today, my boyfriend and I were under the impression his house was empty. We were getting intimate, and being very loud about it. Afterwards, my boyfriend comes back up stairs from making a cup of tea, only to let me know his mother is sitting in the living room quietly reading a book. FML
--
Today, I was called out of an important meeting. Why? My husband had somehow gotten his penis trapped in the vacuum cleaner and couldn't reach the 'off' switch. FML
--
Today, I realized my girlfriend forgot her red bra on my bed after leaving my house. I smelled it, and it smelled great, which gave me a spontaneous erection. I quickly hid it when my mom entered the room. She came to ask me if I'd seen where she left her red bra. FML
--
the end
