How active......

LadyC23 Posted: Apr 15, 2009 12:42 PM

How active......

Are your FH's with the planning of your wedding? I am asking 'cuz my FH could really care less about flowers, colors, etc.. Dont get me wrong I do not have a problem with picking out everything myself. However, I am not marrying myself and would like his input on some things.

doreen82 Posted: Apr 15, 2009 12:46 PM

Re: How active......

I do have to say that FH is very into making the decisions with me. He enjoys it as much as I do!
Maybe try talking to FH and tell him it means alot to you if he participated alittle more. Maybe that will help?

Good luck hun

meara Posted: Apr 15, 2009 12:48 PM

Re: How active......

FH is pretty into it all. . . at one point too into it b /c he vetoed my vest color choice for the tuxes

RPMG26599 Posted: Apr 15, 2009 01:03 PM

Re: How active......

My FH has been active in only some planning. The colors & flowers he didnt care much for so I did the planning for that. I didnt mind because I was very picky with the colors and I love flowers! Everything else he was actually very opinionated on which was good and bad....lol! But I was glad we did some things together =)

I see how this would make you a little upset.....Have you talked to him about it?

MrsCastanedain09 Posted: Apr 15, 2009 01:06 PM

Re: How active......

He could care less. We picked the RH, photo and video together and that was it. He left everything else up to me and only is concerned about keeping costs down.

I'm fine with this, he's not into details at all.

coldasice217 Posted: Apr 15, 2009 01:06 PM

Re: How active......

He is very in to it and not in to it at the same time. He wants to have final say on everything because it all boils down to the almighty dollar, but he doesn't want to go on appointments, do anything 'too far in advance', etc. Thank god all we have left is to book limos and the rehearsal and POSSIBLY a HM, and then I have free reign on favors, invites, etc.

MrsGRod09 Posted: Apr 15, 2009 01:09 PM

Re: How active......

FH just went with me to sign the contract for our RH, check the flowers and went to a DJ showcase. He doesn't care about the fine details but that's fine with i rather have it that way instead of having him butt in lol.

stephlovesseyi Posted: Apr 15, 2009 01:29 PM

Re: How active......

FH is active in the things that he's interested in. Food, Music, What he's wearing. Other than that its me and my planner. Which actually has been a bit of a blessing!!

9509Bride Posted: Apr 15, 2009 01:31 PM

Re: How active......

Uh lets see,

we were engaged April 1, 2008.
he began to give a hoot LAST WEEK!!!!!!

he still does not care about colors, favors etc all he cares about is the bottom line and how much to write the check for!

I tried to involve him but he is a man of few words so when he does have something to say I listen.

JamDancer Posted: Apr 15, 2009 01:36 PM

Re: How active......

He's involved in the stuff that he has some interest in, like DJ, limos, honeymoon, and what he's wearing. He could care less about dresses, colors, or flowers, but I really don't blame him.

I really don't mind, I can pick whatever I want. But, if I ask him for help with something, he will be happy to do it.

AFutureBride Posted: Apr 15, 2009 01:36 PM

Re: How active......

He's not that involved. But will get involved if I ask him specifically to help me with something.

Otherwise...he could really care less. In general he doesn't stress and thinks everything works out in the end. Um...yeah..it works out because i make sure it does!!!

caligirl87 Posted: Apr 15, 2009 01:37 PM

Re: How active......

Posted by JamDancer

He's involved in the stuff that he has some interest in, like DJ, limos, honeymoon, and what he's wearing. He could care less about dresses, colors, or flowers, but I really don't blame him.

I really don't mind, I can pick whatever I want. But, if I ask him for help with something, he will be happy to do it.

My FH is the same. I did make him visit the caterer though and he's tasting the cake for me... but what man doesn't love food?

egem523 Posted: Apr 15, 2009 01:37 PM

Re: How active......

Posted by JamDancer

He's involved in the stuff that he has some interest in, like DJ, limos, honeymoon, and what he's wearing. He could care less about dresses, colors, or flowers, but I really don't blame him.

I really don't mind, I can pick whatever I want. But, if I ask him for help with something, he will be happy to do it.

ditto for me. ITA mine is DH was the sameway and it was fine. If he were to get to involve he would annoy me

allegracristina Posted: Apr 15, 2009 01:38 PM

Re: How active......

Pretty active! He has opinions on pretty much everything, but is also SUPER helpful and will do any task or errand or anything I need him to. He pretty much rocks!!!

springsandra Posted: Apr 15, 2009 02:59 PM

Re: How active......

My FH is barely involved in the planning. In fact, sometimes he asks me to stop talking about it, which I guess I understand, but I could really use some help.

I have been carefully choosing what to ask him to help with. I asked him to take care of the photo. He did it. He has asked to do the tuxes. He's dragging his feet on it and it's making me worried... but he told me to stop pestering him about it so I'm trying to. It's very tough not to bug him about it. I just wish he'd go already! Since I'm not going to be involved in the tuxes, I just asked for no ruffles. I think he's going to do ivory or white vests so it will not clash colors at all.

He came with me to meet with the DJ people, and was helpful with that. We of course chose the RH together, and we will meet with the officiant together. He helped edit the invites and insert text, and he's been helpful with the guest list. Other than that, it's up to me.

Don't feel bad if your FH is not all that into this planning. It's not because he doesn't love you, it's just because planning isn't his thing.

Anyway, that's what we're all here for!

bag19 Posted: Apr 15, 2009 04:04 PM

Re: How active......

FH was excited in the beginning.....

...and then.....
I went to about 10 RH's and narrowed it down to about 3 or 4. He only visited TWO!!!!
FH came for the DJ but that was back in Oct. and just recently he has been asking me if I have started making a play list. UMM if you're so interested in it, why don't you do it?
FH came to meet the photographer/videographer. BUT we only went to ONE place and we both loved their work so I called to book a week later.
I handled the flowers, dresses, and the limos myself.
I drove the hour plus ride out (in rush hour) to the RH TWICE and met with the coordinator and sat there for an hour going through the million books of invitations.
FH has his ideas for tuxes but I'd be willing to bet $234572389573.00 on it that its ME who has to call to set up an appt.
FH was VERY interested in registering but recently told me that he is 'willing to hand me the reigns' and finish up registering on my own!
I have been handling the savings account and writing the checks, making the lists, spending COUNTLESS hours surfing the internet coming up with ideas.
All FH is interested in is booking the RD. So typical of men to only be interested in the food!

Anyways, we wonder why I am so stressed lately!

EmiNoa628 Posted: Apr 15, 2009 04:09 PM

Re: How active......

Honestly FH is involve ENOUGH...

At the beginning of the wedding planning 'He cared less'.. But he always told me 'Don't stress it once come January we'll go full blast!!'..... I didn't listen as always and continued making arrangements...

Ever since January 1st.. he determines most of the final decisions.. Excepts flowers and colors (which he cares less about).. But RH ideas and schedule, etc etc .. he is full time!!

Some men you just need to baby through.. They don't know how much a wedding entails..

MrsCtobe Posted: Apr 15, 2009 04:09 PM

Re: How active......

well he basically does everything with me, but mind you this is not without complaint. whenever he lets me take the lead on something, i always feel like he puts his two cents in after it's done which annoys me so i make him come with me for everything basically. id rather force him along than hear criticism later!