Post New Topic

How can I tell guests we prefer no kids at our wedding w/o sounding rude???

jayandkayrob2016 Posted:

How can I tell guests we prefer no kids at our wedding w/o sounding rude???

I need all the advice I can get. My FH and I discussed months ago that we rather not have kids at the wedding besides the 6 children who are in the wedding. I'm a mother of one and do understand the hardships with finding a babysitter or having one cancel last minute.

However, I have attended quite a few 'adult only' weddings and hear that couples have a hard time implementing that rule without negative feedback. I already have one pushy friend that wants to bring her newborn and toddler to the wedding because she's coming from out of state. (although she has family in my state)She has 7 months to figure this out.

I want to stay firm with our decision because I'm afraid if I make accommodations for one, I'll have to accommodate everyone else and their children.

Any advice on how to uphold our 'policy' without hurting anyone's feelings, sounding rude or pissing off family and friends????

Please help!
gemsy391 Posted:

How can I tell guests we prefer no kids at our wedding w/o sounding rude???

I sent you an FM, but rereading that this I thought of another idea.....do you have a babysitter that you trust that could babysit her kids while she is at your wedding?

jayandkayrob2016 Posted:

How can I tell guests we prefer no kids at our wedding w/o sounding rude???

Thanks gemsy, I'll check your fm. Some people aren't too comfortable having strangers watch their children and she is one of them as she has her own home daycare. Especially that her baby will be 5 months old and her toddler will be 4 at the time of the wedding.

jayandkayrob2016 Posted:

How can I tell guests we prefer no kids at our wedding w/o sounding rude???

Thanks gemsy, I'll check your fm. Some people aren't too comfortable having strangers watch their children and she is one of them as she has her own home daycare. Especially that her baby will be 5 months old and her toddler will be 4 at the time of the wedding.

rhythmandshoes Posted:

How can I tell guests we prefer no kids at our wedding w/o sounding rude???

A common problem, I’m the same way! What we’re planning on doing is offering to provide a babysitter during the reception. My venue doesn’t have a great place for on-site child care, but a lot of venues have spaces you can use. Honestly, you don’t have time to bother about people who are offended that you don’t want their toddler at your wedding. That’s just ridiculous. Make sure the invitation is only addressed to John and Jane, not The Smith Family, and include an insert in their invitation that you would be pleased to arrange for a babysitter if they need help arranging childcare.

rhythmandshoes Posted:

How can I tell guests we prefer no kids at our wedding w/o sounding rude???

A common problem, I’m the same way! What we’re planning on doing is offering to provide a babysitter during the reception. My venue doesn’t have a great place for on-site child care, but a lot of venues have spaces you can use. Honestly, you don’t have time to bother about people who are offended that you don’t want their toddler at your wedding. That’s just ridiculous. Make sure the invitation is only addressed to John and Jane, not The Smith Family, and include an insert in their invitation that you would be pleased to arrange for a babysitter if they need help arranging childcare.

jayandkayrob2016 Posted:

How can I tell guests we prefer no kids at our wedding w/o sounding rude???

Thanks Rhythmandshoes. I will definitely do so. I thought about providing a sitter service but my friend who is complaining is a child care provider for a living and trust me she will not be leaving her young kids with a stranger regardless of their childcare background. She's very particular. Her mother and aunt lives in NYC and she hasn't made arrangements for them to watch her children while at the wedding so I really doubt she'll leave them with someone she doesn't know.

It feels like I'd be going all out of my way to accommodate guests and their children. Honestly, if that was me and I feel like 'my kids come then I can't,' I won't even come. I'll just send my love.

Reply to this topic

Log in to reply or quote a post.