How depressing is a video of my deceased father and I dancing?

piscescutie2002 Posted: Oct 19, 2009 01:27 AM

How depressing is a video of my deceased father and I dancing?

My dad passed away 12 years ago from colon cancer in 1997. It was around the time when the Titanic movie was out. The song, 'My heart will go on' by Celine Dion was my song to him in my head. 'Near, Far, where ever you are, you are here in my heart and my heart will go on and on'.

I am having a Plasma Screen at my reception. I want to show footage of myself dancing with my dad at my friend's wedding that shows her dancing in the background with her wedding gown hovering behind us. Then, I will dance to, 'My Heart Will go on' at the same time with my Uncle walking who is walking me down the aisle. Figured we could lead right into an upbeat song but afraid the whole idea may go south on me if people get REALLY depressed watching it. For me, it's the only way I will feel like my dad is there with me and the song means something to me.

I also want people to come out of my wedding having laughed, cried and feeling like my wedding was unique, personal and not cookie cutter boring. I tend to be one for good tear jerkers and drama. Will others find it depressing and perhaps inappropriate, uncomfortable? Should I not care? :)

20mrsc10 Posted: Oct 19, 2009 07:38 AM

Re: How depressing is a video of my deceased father and I dancing?

a girl on here whose dad passed had a video of her with him as a little girl and she played it at her wedding i believe

its emotional, but its also a nice way to honor the deceased imo

HotAir Posted: Oct 19, 2009 07:54 AM

Re: How depressing is a video of my deceased father and I dancing?

That sounds so beautiful.

I have heard though that the reception should be a party and that doing such things could bring it down.

It's your wedding though...if you feel like people can bounce right back to enjoying themselves then go for it.

springsandra Posted: Oct 19, 2009 09:06 AM

Re: How depressing is a video of my deceased father and I dancing?

Emotional does not necessarily equal depressing. I think it's a lovely way for you to have your father there with you at your wedding. As long as your FH agrees that it's a good idea, and your mom will not become distraught at it, it sounds like something you can do that will be very, very special to you.

If you come to feel that the video is too much, you can still play the song and dance to it with your uncle, and it will bring just as much meaning to you and those who know the story of your dance with your father.

As hard as it may be, remember that the marriage is a birth of a whole new life with you and your husband, so don't dwell on missing your father on your wedding day, and just be happy he will always be in your heart and memory.

StaceyWill Posted: Oct 19, 2009 09:45 AM

Re: How depressing is a video of my deceased father and I dancing?

I don't think it's depressing, I think it's beautiful!!

Im_My_Own_Princess Posted: Oct 19, 2009 10:54 AM

Re: How depressing is a video of my deceased father and I dancing?

I cried just reading that, I'm so sorry for your loss.

I think it would be the sweetest thing if you did that. Yes, people would cry, but not because they'd be sad, but because of how beautiful that would be.

my suggestion:
don't follow it with an upbeat song, do your dance with your uncle and play the video in the background, you can actually do a photo-montage as well (mixed in), then let your FH dance with his mother and have a photo-montage of them on the screen.

then have a dance song... you dont want to have such a beautiful moment followed by some techno mix... you want it to be gradual.
I promise, everyone will remember your moment, but it won't make for a depressing night.

StellaStar13 Posted: Oct 19, 2009 11:42 AM

Re: How depressing is a video of my deceased father and I dancing?

I think this is beautiful idea! I lost my older bro in '03 and considered showing the video of his wife & him dancing to their first song on their wedding day. I wont do it b/c she has remarried to an AMAZING man and I dont want to do anything to hurt him. If I had video of Joe & I dancing, I would DEF show it! I say go for it and I agree w/what someone else wrote, emotional does not mean depressing at all times. I completely understand the feeling of honoring your father in some way and I also understand how difficult it can be to go through the day w/out making notice of those whom are no longer w/us.
Ok, crying now!!!! I'm such a SAP!!!

BarbieGrl10 Posted: Oct 19, 2009 12:39 PM

Re: How depressing is a video of my deceased father and I dancing?

I think its a beautiful idea! An 09 bride DINAAMATUCCIO made a video for her father/daughter dance as well.

CLICK HERE for the video link

mag2010 Posted: Oct 19, 2009 12:40 PM

Re: How depressing is a video of my deceased father and I dancing?

I am extremely emotional and tearing up while reading this post. The idea is so nice and great way to incorporate your day into your day. It is a nice idea and very moving. Don't think it is depressing just very touching.

AdriandSteve Posted: Oct 19, 2009 12:58 PM

Re: How depressing is a video of my deceased father and I dancing?

I think it's a great idea, but personally I wouldn't do it and i'm in a similar situation.

I think it would be a great way to remember him but I know that afterwards the rest of the night won't be the same for me, my mom, and my aunts. I've seen it done though.

I think it's a personal decision and it's important to think how you and everyone else is going to feel right afterwards.
Even if I would be ok I know for a fact my mom and aunt wouldn't be ok with it. That alone would make me not play something like that but that's just my opinion.

IrishBrideASmiling Posted: Oct 19, 2009 01:35 PM

Re: How depressing is a video of my deceased father and I dancing?

I would do it. We did a picture slide show at our wedding and included pics of us growing up along with our deceased relatives. Everyone thought it was very touching that we remembered them and that they were sorta there in a way.

piscescutie2002 Posted: Oct 19, 2009 04:07 PM

Re: How depressing is a video of my deceased father and I dancing?

Posted by springsandra

Emotional does not necessarily equal depressing. As hard as it may be, remember that the marriage is a birth of a whole new life with you and your husband, so don't dwell on missing your father on your wedding day, and just be happy he will always be in your heart and memory.

Very good point that emotional doesn't equal depressing. Huh. Someone else wrote that it would be, 'touching' which is another positive way of looking at it.

Sorry to make you all cry! :) To make matters worse, can you believe my FH lost both his parents as a child? His father dropped dead of a heart attack when he was 10. They had to pull him out of school that day-the fifth grade. His mother already had pancreatic cancer and she wound up dying 3 years later! His sister is 14 years older and married already so she took him in but what a hard time! Makes me love him just a little bit more because of it.

So, he will dance the mother song with his sister and we'll put up some photos on the Plasma Screen-- nothing too hard since that was more tragic than just sad. I long made peace about my dad and it wasn't sudden since he had cancer and not like it got him or myself at a super young age. My mother and sister are fine with it. It may bring about some misty eyes. Since it's not so recent, I don't think it will bring the whole place down for the rest of the night.

I also agree not to follow the song with a sudden techno mix. Talk about a manic depressive night!

Thanks everyone. I will do it!

JessNicole7EM Posted: Oct 19, 2009 04:39 PM

Re: How depressing is a video of my deceased father and I dancing?

Emotional is not depressing. Everyone who knows your dad and knows how much he meant to you will probably become very emotional. A lot of people do things like this.. or dedicate a song or whatever. Everyone cries and what not. then the party goes on. People aren't going to harp on it. It's a nice beautiful way to commemorate someone.