view me as an authority figure, not just a playmate.
Skyler is 4, but a very mature 4. I've already tried talking it out with her, but she still tries to test me.
I'm not talking about being involved in life-changing decisions - I realize that can only be done by FH and her mom. I'm talking more about, 'Stay out of the deep end of the pool.' or 'Don't run with the lolipop in your mouth.' Any other adult can tell her these things and she would obey.... but not me. I was at a family get together with FH's little cousins and asked one of his cousins to sit on the swing while it was in motion, in front of Skyler, to which Skyler told the cousin, 'Don't listen to her (meaning me), she's not a mommy.'
Any advice ladies would be greatly appreciated.
Dee7772
Posted:
Member since
Re: How do I get my future step/bonus daughter to....
I would havea sit down with her, yourself and her father to discuss the situation. Her father defiantly has to speak to her about her behavior. Its a tough situation, but I sure everything will work out.
Sassyz75
Posted:
Member since
Re: How do I get my future step/bonus daughter to....
Little kids, no matter how mature, don't come out with 'don't listen to her she's not a mommy'..
sounds to me like she's getting this from somewhere- possibly her mother? who knows.
I think a sit down is in order between you, FH and her mother. Being civil with each other and having an open line of communication between the 3 of you is the only way your future step daughter will be 'okay'.
My Dad, Mom & SM all communicated in a civil manner, and it all worked out for the best.. it can be done.
Kriss2c
Posted:
Member since
Re: How do I get my future step/bonus daughter to....
Thanks ladies, I appreciate your input.
FH and Skyler's mom have a really rocky history so while I would like to think she would have better judgment than that, I would not put something like this past her. I guess we will have to bite the bullet and have a sit down. I guess we should do this in the next month and a half since mom and BF are invited guests at the wedding.
Boop2704
Posted:
Member since
Re: How do I get my future step/bonus daughter to....
Posted by Sassyz75
Little kids, no matter how mature, don't come out with 'don't listen to her she's not a mommy'..
sounds to me like she's getting this from somewhere- possibly her mother? who knows.
QUOTE]
Sadly, it definitely sounds like someone is feeding her that info. I haven't had any problems with my stepson. I kind of have his respect because I was actually his teacher years before I became his stepmom. I definitely suggest you sit down with her and tell her that you know your not her mother, but she is still a very important part of your life and always will be and that just like she listens to her mother and father, she needs to listen to you as well. Maybe she doesn't understand the whole concept that you are going to be her fathers wife forever. I am sure she knows, but just may not understand it. There will always be that hesitation on her part because you are not her mother, but eventually they do start to accept you and respect you. I am here if you ever need to talk, my stepsons 'real' and I use that lighly is a real winner. I think that may be why I have so much respect from him, because his mother is not exactly the loving type and I am. Just continue to love her and she'll come around. It just takes time.
brideinapril
Posted:
Member since
Re: How do I get my future step/bonus daughter to....
Posted by Sassyz75
Little kids, no matter how mature, don't come out with 'don't listen to her she's not a mommy'..
sounds to me like she's getting this from somewhere- possibly her mother? who knows.
I think a sit down is in order between you, FH and her mother. Being civil with each other and having an open line of communication between the 3 of you is the only way your future step daughter will be 'okay'.
My Dad, Mom & SM all communicated in a civil manner, and it all worked out for the best.. it can be done.
Funny, I was just going to say this - my dh is going through a similar situation with my 6 year old son - and I know he gets it from his dad. Have a sit down with your fh and you future step daughter. It will work out - its not her fault, but she needs to be straightened out.
