How do I handle this situation? (Kinda long)

How do I handle this situation? (Kinda long)

FH HATES one of my best friends. He and my friend got into a HUGE fight one night while she was drunk. She's very boyish and when she's drunk she can get a little crazy. It was her fault and things got really heated. He kicked her out of our house and slammed the door. She is not allowed in my house anymore and he doesnt even like hearing her name. She apologized to me but she hasnt apologized to him yet. I think she would apologize but she's scared. I have known her since I was 14 years old (Im going to be 27 now) and there is no way I would want her to miss my wedding but how can she come if FH cant stand her. I tried to bring up the fact that she needs to apologize and she seemed like she was going to but has never brought it up again. Should I bring it up again? And I wouldnt know how to set up this meeting between them when FH seems unlikely to budge. What do you girls think is the best way to handle this situation cause right now I keep avoiding it but Id like to deal with it sooner than later.

Re: How do I handle this situation? (Kinda long)

i would def bring it up to her...im sure she wants to bc she knows she wants to come to ur wedding and doesnt want things to be so bad between her and your fh but is scared...id have a talk with her and tell her that she really needs to appologize to your fh, to make things better between the two of them

Re: How do I handle this situation? (Kinda long)

I think Im going to have a talk with FH when he wakes up from his nap about it cause its been bothering me for a while. I wonder if I should warn him that her apology is coming (Whenever she decides to do it) or if I shouldnt say anything. I just want him to be receptive to the apology and not still be bitter with her. He can be a little stubborn at time!

Re: How do I handle this situation? (Kinda long)

This is a tough situation. You need to cautious I think. If she gets out of control at your wedding she could sabatoge your night. Talk to your FH and tell him how you feel and then talk to her about apologizing and maybe not drinking TOO much where she might be out of control again. You don't need to deal with stupidness like that on your night.

Re: How do I handle this situation? (Kinda long)

This is a tough situation. I had a friend who had a falling out with the best man at her wedding. They ended up never making it right b/c neither of them would budge on the issue. It caused huge problems, and on their wedding everyone felt like they were walking on eggshells b/c it was clear that she didnt even want him THERE, let alone standing up for them as a witness to their marriage. If these are two people that love you, they should (and will!) put the past in the past for your sake. Good luck! I hope it works out.

Re: How do I handle this situation? (Kinda long)

i would explain to your FH how important your friend is to you. let him know that you can't really picture your wedding without her there. let him know that while you understand his pov you really hope he can work it out for your sake.

then...
talk to your friend. tell her how you feel about this. how it's tearing you apart and how you don't know what to do. tell her you love her but that you can't very well invite her knowing how you fh feels b/c it is just as much his big day as it is yours.

this is a very hard situation, and i'm sorry you're dealing with it. i hope everything works out okay.
good luck

Re: How do I handle this situation? (Kinda long)

I would try to explain to both of them how important they are to you ..then I would let her know how annoyed he is and hopefully she will take it to the next step and appologize to your FH and start to ease the anger.......even if he dosent like her is she is important to you she should be at the wedding !!

Re: How do I handle this situation? (Kinda long)

Thanks for the words of advice. I was going to bring it up last night but we were having such a good night I didnt want to put a damper on the mood by bringing her up. The mention of h er name pisses him off. So Im going to try and bring it up again today. You girls are so much help

Re: How do I handle this situation? (Kinda long)

i would bring it up to her...seems like she is afraid to talk to your FH about this so why not tell her to either e-mail him or write him a letter to apologize

Re: How do I handle this situation? (Kinda long)

Thats EXACTLY what is it. Shes terrified to speak to him because she knows she was wrong. (She said some pretty mean things to him) Im going to suggest she hit him up on his my space or something.

Re: How do I handle this situation? (Kinda long)

Since you are good friends, talk to her. Tell her you are not going to give up FH or her and want this resolved. Have a casual meet-up point (coffee) and have her apologize IN PERSON! Over the phone or by any other means is superficial and FH may not take it seriously. Lots of luck!