A family member, which will remain unnamed, has offered to pay for our flowers & told us this about 6-8 months ago. About a month ago I decided I should get started with looking around. That's when I found out they are no longer paying for our flowers but just the bouquets. (i found this out through someone else & not the actula person) This caught me by surprise because we didn't set the florist in our budget & now we're going to have to & I don't know why they would suddenly change their story.My guess is it probably had to do with money which is understandable.
So after a month from hearing this I started calling places & getting quotes. When I spoke with this person & told them I was calling florists for quotes I was asked 'Is that for everything', which of course I said yes. They started telling me 'we don't need to be concerned with centerpieces now, let's just focus on the bouquets.' I was then told to call my RH to see if they rent out centerpieces bc 'we can prob just get something cheap for the tables'. This was brought up at 2 seperate occasions even after I said I know they didn't do that. It was INSISTED that I make the phone call. In my opinion I feel that if you are going to get bouquets at a florist you are most likely going to get your centerpieces & boutonnières there too unless you are DIY. So am I wrong for getting a quote which included everything? I didn't even throw numbers out I just said I got a quote for ALL the flowers. PS I called my RH & they do not rent out centerpieces.
I have not been stressed at all in my planning but when people tell me how I need to do things and what I need to be concerned with for MY WEDDING just stresses me. It makes me upset. I'm not trying to be a brat but I think in this particular situation I am allowed to do whatever I want. I think it would be a lot easier if this person just said I'll give you XXX amount of dollars towards flowers. Now it's like their way or the highway :( It makes me want to cry
MrsJPH2012
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Re: How do I put this nicely?
IMO the best way to take money for the wedding is to have someone say I'll give you $XX and you do what you want with it. Unfortunately this hardly ever happens!
I really feel for you in this situation because you don't want to seem unappreciative because they're giving you money, but still its your wedding and you should be able to make your own decisions with it.
I don't think you're out of line with how you're handling it, but I think the florist should be able to itemize how much everything costs. That way you could make up the difference with what they would pay and what you would. I would ask this person how much they're looking to spend, and when you meet with the florists explain the situation, that way you can decide how much you're willing to spend on the centerpieces but get the nicest bo-k's that fall within that price range.
thefloreswedding
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Re: How do I put this nicely?
i would go visit the florists that you want and the one that you like themost have them do an estimate on the BQs.....and give that to your family member. if its too much then have them pay what they can....better yet i agree with the other post, ask them how much they are willing to spend so you can stay within their budget....if its really low then i guess you will need to cover the rest.....?
Jill52787
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Re: How do I put this nicely?
You're not being a brat kerri! That's a tough spot to be in. I'd ask whatever florist you go with about how much of ur quote is for the bo-k's. Explain the situation and I'm sure they'll understand. I'm sorry!
courtneydemarco12
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Re: How do I put this nicely?
that was mean and not right at all . So sorry this happend to you
pixietina
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Re: How do I put this nicely?
I think you are handling the situation well. When I went to my florist appointments they always gave me the breakdown for each item. Get the cost for all the bo-k's and give that number to your family member. If they think that is still too high then just ask what they are willing to give. Hope things work out Kerri!
ddms7870
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Re: How do I put this nicely?
Sorry you feel misled!!! ugh..that's the problem with that kind of a gesture especially when it comes to feeling bound by constraints on a gift like that. They should have made themselves more clear from the beginning this way you could expect to know what you were working with. I feel for you!!
FutureMrsGTL
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Re: How do I put this nicely?
Ughhh im so sorry this happened! and you're def not being a brat at all!
Maybe just tell the person what the price of the bouquets are, leave out that you got quoted for everything let them pay for the bouquets and go about doing what you wanna do for the rest.
mara1017
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Re: How do I put this nicely?
First off here are big hugs.
I am sorry that you have to deal with this. You are not being a brat at all. What I would do is go to florists and get quotes for what YOU want. Make sure they have in the quote the amount for the centerpieces separate from the bouquets. I would decide which one YOU want to work with. Then I would go to the person who offered to pay for the flowers and show them the quote. I would tell them that you met with a bunch of florists and this is who you are going to use. I would also tell them that you understand if they are not able to pay for the whole thing and you appreciate any amount of money they contribute.
5272012
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Re: How do I put this nicely?
WOW thats so ridic. Im very sorry!
I was given the best advice in the beginining of planning and I will share it here for everyone who has not yet done their budget. I was told that since no one was paying for the FULL wedding to account for you paying EVERYTHING! I was explained that many things could go wrong with people offering money so if i keep myself accountable for my WHOLE budget and paying experience, then it would be better...then if someone did pay for something, i would have extra money. Worked out wonderful SO FAR, because my mom said shed pay for my dress..I still budgeted for us paying it...when we got to the dress place, she did put the deposit down..she todl me she would pay for full dress..at this point, i took the depost money and added it to what we have left to spend. Works well..having extra money then having to scrounge for the money..
its terrible to think people would change what they offered, i am so sorry that this is happening to you!
Best of luck and keep us updated :)
midnight26
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Re: How do I put this nicely?
get what you want from the florist you want, so you have no regrets and get the bouquet price separately so if this person wants to pay that amount they can.....
i hope it all works out for you :)
bella_bride
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Re: How do I put this nicely?
Stay calm sweety, everything will work out. I would be just as upset as you are!
Sorry this happened.
Stefie82
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Re: How do I put this nicely?
So sorry this happend to you. Everthing will work it's self out
bowlergyal
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Re: How do I put this nicely?
Posted by mara1017
First off here are big hugs.
I am sorry that you have to deal with this. You are not being a brat at all. What I would do is go to florists and get quotes for what YOU want. Make sure they have in the quote the amount for the centerpieces separate from the bouquets. I would decide which one YOU want to work with. Then I would go to the person who offered to pay for the flowers and show them the quote. I would tell them that you met with a bunch of florists and this is who you are going to use. I would also tell them that you understand if they are not able to pay for the whole thing and you appreciate any amount of money they contribute.
THIS! Relax, it will all work out!
kdm822
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Re: How do I put this nicely?
ughhh i hate when people say there going to pay for something and then either change it or never mention it again.. coughhhhh Ffil
deeda1129
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Re: How do I put this nicely?
sooo frustrating!!! I have this issue with almost everything since my parents are paying (but i've already vented to you about that!!) lol It woud be so much easier if they just gave you the money then to choose what you get since they are paying. it's your freakin wedding!!!!!!
Don't be offended by all my exclamation points, it's only bc i'm frustrated right now too LOL
regarding if you need to get bouquets at the same place or not, that's up to you. We were going to do different places for our house, my b, and the centerpieces (yes.... 3 different places!) lol so i think it's fine to split it up.. I know you already did, but obviously check out b*rtons :) Did you find anyone cheaper than them by any chance?
FutureMrsCat050412
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Re: How do I put this nicely?
Posted by deeda1129
sooo frustrating!!! I have this issue with almost everything since my parents are paying (but i've already vented to you about that!!) lol It woud be so much easier if they just gave you the money then to choose what you get since they are paying. it's your freakin wedding!!!!!!
Don't be offended by all my exclamation points, it's only bc i'm frustrated right now too LOL
regarding if you need to get bouquets at the same place or not, that's up to you. We were going to do different places for our house, my b, and the centerpieces (yes.... 3 different places!) lol so i think it's fine to split it up.. I know you already did, but obviously check out b*rtons :) Did you find anyone cheaper than them by any chance?
LoL so i guess you saw my post! haha
I called one other place for flowers but didnt have a set centerpiece that i wanted so didnt get an exact quote. PS Did you look into the James Cress thing? I'm not sure if that was a true story or not. I would call them, I was actually going to check them out too but I heard they are expensive. I wanted to meet with them last week but they were booked up.
