Since Aidan was born 3 months ago they have asked my DH and I to babysit many many times. So we have done it 3 times already. Always going to Yonkers from Great Neck where we live. They never offer to get us dinner or even have food in their apt, gas money, tolls....nothing...this really upsets my Dh...
Anyway, they asked us to babysit again last weekend...this time during the day so they can go see a movie and whatever. I said no, we have plans for the holiday weekend. Then they leave a message asking for this sunday afternoon. I don't know what to do....or how to say no. I wouldnt mind once in a while but this is every few weeks. They try to entice us in their messages with how cute he is and constantly changing etc.
Please send some advice...I don't know what to do.
Kathy116
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Re: How do I say no? Please help...
That's a tough one. I think the best thing is to just keep saying you made plans already.
nov04LIbride
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Re: How do I say no? Please help...
Hmmm...I would say you have work and errands to do around the house, but if they are willing to drop him off with you and pick him up, you would be welcome to! Chances are they might not want to drive, or even if they do at least you don't have to do the drive. Good luck, that does sound like an inconvenience!
TracyInQueens
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Re: How do I say no? Please help...
IMO, it's kind of presumptuous of them to keep asking you- Yonkers from Great Neck is no easy trip. Maybe you should just point that out to them, that it's not that close (and with traffic, it's even tougher) and you and DH need time to yourselves on the weekends to unwind. Isn't there someone closer who can sit for them? It seems like they're taking advantage of you.
Chloegirl
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Re: How do I say no? Please help...
See, I have made up so many excuses already...I don't know what else to say. I don't want them to get mad at me...so I didn't know if there is a nice way to be honest.
I will never put anyone in this situation when I have a kid...I am the one left feeling bad all the time...since they ask all the time.
JimmysBride
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Re: How do I say no? Please help...
Wow... that's alot to ask of someone who lives that far out... and so often. And they aren't even showing their appreciation in a small way by offering to pay your tolls, at the very least.
I must say I don't blame your DH for getting upset and the both of you are very kind to be doing this.
I would say to definitely say no a few more times in a row. Maybe even try not returning their calls/messages once in awhile. Then maybe you could drop a hint like 'oh we'd love to babysit but it's getting kind of expensive for us with the tolls, gas, and buying dinners -- we have to stay home and cook to save ourselves some money' -- or something like that... so they get the hint. I can't believe they haven't offered up anything!
1017Bride
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Re: How do I say no? Please help...
I agree hint about the fact that you enjoy doing it but it gets tough sometimes because its expensive with the tolls and dinners and all.
luvsbob4603
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Re: How do I say no? Please help...
I would be straight forward in how you feel! tell her the ridefrom greatneck to yonkers is a little of a ride and cost money and if they wanted you to babysit they need to give you gas money or even a nice homemade dinner or take you both out. just because your cousin's doesn't mean you want to be taken advantage of and babysit for free. and that you and your Dh needs to spend time together and go out by yourselfs. what about your cousin's mom cant she babysit her? or does she have a sister or brother that is close by that can help out. I am just saying its not fair to you that you are the only person she ask, she should ask a neighbor if she trust's them to watch her baby. good luck i hope i helped you.
Kathy116
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Re: How do I say no? Please help...
People get real funny re: their children...I don't know how to explain it, but that's always been my experience, like there's this hypersensitivity...that's why I recommended making a few more excuses hoping they'll get the hint.
Chloegirl
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Re: How do I say no? Please help...
Thanks for all the support.
Unfortunately we do live the closest to them...the next closest family lives in South Jersey. But they do have friends and babysitters are always an option if they are desperate to go out. I feel bad, but my DH and I have a life.
I think I am going to call them back and tell them once again that this weekend doesn't work and that I would love to make plans with them and the baby for sometimes soon...and hope they get the message.
Janice
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Re: How do I say no? Please help...
This went on for 6 months with me babysitting my little cousin..my aunt lives across the street, finally I started blaming my DH, saying it is aggravating him, or I have to cook, or I am behind on laundry, any excuse, but I would always blame DH, and finally she caught on
Marcie
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Re: How do I say no? Please help...
Posted by nov04LIbride
Hmmm...I would say you have work and errands to do around the house, but if they are willing to drop him off with you and pick him up, you would be welcome to! Chances are they might not want to drive, or even if they do at least you don't have to do the drive. Good luck, that does sound like an inconvenience!
I really like this suggestion. They have to realize that you can't drop things that you need to get done so that they can 'go out'. Its not like they are asking you to go to dinner and the movies with them
