That I no only want her as part of my bridal party?
I only have 3 bridesmaids because I didn't want the hassle of having to many opinions/egos to deal with.
Recently one of my bridesmaid has informed me that I am asking to much from her. I asked her to go dress shopping with me in October as she is currently pregnant and is very heavy chested. Due to her figure I wanted to make sure whatever dress I pick doesn't make her look slutty. She informed me that she would be busy and that I shouldn't expect much from her since she is a mother.
Seriously??? I am giving her 5 months notice. Its the only thing I have asked of her. I haven't asked my bridesmaids about helping me with anything else as I understand they are all busy people.
Something about the way she responded rubbed me the wrong way and I just want her out of the wedding.
Help.
meejack1110
Posted:
Member since
How do i tell a bridesmaid...??? Vent
If she just out right brushed off the dress shopping request months in advanced, then I think that maybe she is trying to find a way to tell you she does not want to be in your wedding. It's a joke that she knows now that in 5 months she will be busy. Maybe she is just trying to drop a hint.
My MOH lives in Virginia, has two daughters, one is 3, one 5 months, and just had a death in her family, yet she voluntarily came up this past week and we went looking around for dresses.(I didn't ask this of her that's just the way she is)
I think you should find a nice way of saying, that you respect how busy she will be, how busy her life is becoming because of the upcoming baby, and because of that you think it would be better for her to not be a bridesmaid. If she is feeling this overwhelmed now, you are doing the both of you a favor by saying so.
Best of luck!
chinadoll11550
Posted:
Member since
Re: How do i tell a bridesmaid...??? Vent
Posted by meejack1110
If she just out right brushed off the dress shopping request months in advanced, then I think that maybe she is trying to find a way to tell you she does not want to be in your wedding. It's a joke that she knows now that in 5 months she will be busy. Maybe she is just trying to drop a hint.
My MOH lives in Virginia, has two daughters, one is 3, one 5 months, and just had a death in her family, yet she voluntarily came up this past week and we went looking around for dresses.(I didn't ask this of her that's just the way she is)
I think you should find a nice way of saying, that you respect how busy she will be, how busy her life is becoming because of the upcoming baby, and because of that you think it would be better for her to not be a bridesmaid. If she is feeling this overwhelmed now, you are doing the both of you a favor by saying so.
Best of luck!
Thanks.
I also thought she wanted out but 2 days later she sent me info on finding bridesmaid dresses (even though they no way fit the style I have said I want).
I have tried before to tell her she was nolonger in the wedding. told her 'we dediced to go back to having only two attendants each', she replied 'which dress dress have you decided on us wearing'.
Delgie
Posted:
Member since
Re: How do i tell a bridesmaid...??? Vent
Posted by meejack1110
If she just out right brushed off the dress shopping request months in advanced, then I think that maybe she is trying to find a way to tell you she does not want to be in your wedding. It's a joke that she knows now that in 5 months she will be busy. Maybe she is just trying to drop a hint.
My MOH lives in Virginia, has two daughters, one is 3, one 5 months, and just had a death in her family, yet she voluntarily came up this past week and we went looking around for dresses.(I didn't ask this of her that's just the way she is)
I think you should find a nice way of saying, that you respect how busy she will be, how busy her life is becoming because of the upcoming baby, and because of that you think it would be better for her to not be a bridesmaid. If she is feeling this overwhelmed now, you are doing the both of you a favor by saying so.
Best of luck!
This! I agree.
Simonenarissa
Posted:
Member since
How do i tell a bridesmaid...??? Vent
Such a tough thing, but I agree with what meejack1110 said.
MsErikaLynn
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How do i tell a bridesmaid...??? Vent
agreed.. I would just tell her you don't want to bother her and she should enjoy what's going on in her own life and that way she can relax and enjoy your wedding instead of being stressed about it
marvandmaya
Posted:
Member since
How do i tell a bridesmaid...??? Vent
You should be very specific and tell her that you no longer wish to have her in your wedding party. Also be prepared for her to no longer be your friend.
Diorprincess
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Member since
Re: How do i tell a bridesmaid...??? Vent
I've felt that way a few times about one of my girls like when she said my purple shoes would look stupid and I was like are you saying I'm going to look stupid? you are telling the bride that?? lol. another time the same girl wouldn't stop saying how dumb my new eve of milady dress looks (compared to a davids bridal gown I originally had) she has borderline personality disorder so eventually she apologized for her craziness and all is well.
are you sure it's not just because your friend is pregnant and maybe a bit nuts sometimes the way she was acting? maybe that's why she responded about the dress when you said something about her not being in it because she knows she was wrong.
sgf2
Posted:
Member since
How do i tell a bridesmaid...??? Vent
She may want to be part of the wedding party but may not know what exactly that entails. When I asked my girls, I gave them a list of things I required of them. I said I would do the best I could do accommodate them, but I also asked that they accommodate me sometimes too.
She may just be pregnant and hormonal or just want to have 'her time to shine' and get attention. But have a talk with her and tell her how her actions are hurting you and that you'd rather save the friendship by her attending your wedding as a happy guest instead of an unhappy bridesmaid, than ruin your friendship over this. Give her the option to change her behavior or step down from the bridal party, and if she doesn't, then she wasn't a good friend to begin with
Soon2BeMrsPy
Posted:
Member since
How do i tell a bridesmaid...??? Vent
I think the best way to handle this situation is to be honest. Express how you are feeling, if she is a TRUE friend she will understand where you are coming from and hopefully that will steer you both to a resolution.
xoxlilqtexox1
Posted:
Member since
How do i tell a bridesmaid...??? Vent
I would also be honest and talk to her about it. Maybe shes feeling self concious or hormonal about fitting into a dress or is it possible something you said rubbed her the wrong way like calling out her figure? Sometimes its just a matter of miscommunication.. there's a reason you asked her to be involved in your wedding in the first place. But if she continues to give you a problem than give her the option of opting out of the bridal party. She would still be there on the day to support you and in the end it's not worth the headache or losing a friend over it.
Csarelakos
Posted:
Member since
How do i tell a bridesmaid...??? Vent
I had a similar situation i posted about a few months ago. I had 2 moh and she was one of them. My 'friend' never had time even though everyone was willing to work around her and she thought it unreasonableI wanted her to get her hair and makeup professionally done for the wedding. She showed up 2 hours late to our eparty and was nasty to the other girls on top of alotta other crap! At the end of the day I didnt want to deal with the headache and she specifically told me her main focus was currently herself and she refused to do anything she didnt want to do. So I nicely told her I wanted my wedding to be something everyone could enjoy and it seemed like her being a moh or bm wasn't something she seemed to be enjoying. So rather then 'expect' too much from her like she was saying I felt shed enjoy herself more as a guest. I can say it didn't turn out well and were no longer friends but at the end of the day its ok by me. I don't need a friend who is jealous or unwilling to be there for me. You have to do what you feel is right. I did and it had consequences but i honestly feel it woulda been worse if i said or did nothing and let her debbie downer my wedding and bridal party! Good luck!
