Hello everyone, I am new to the board have and have enjoyed ready all of the help and support you have given to each other.
Here is one I have not seen. How do you control an out of control MOB. My FH and I have one idea for our wedding but my mother has another. How do we keep her calm but not talk away her joy?
Latrice
Posted:
Member since
Re: How do you control an out of control MOB?
Well, I would sit down with mommy and tell her how much you love and appreciate her suggestions for your wedding. Try to include one thing that she would like to see at your wedding that will make it special for her too. Other than that, if you are paying....well, mommy is just gonna have to suck it up. In the end, she will be happy either way. I'm sure.
marc_rai
Posted:
Member since
Re: How do you control an out of control MOB?
Posted by Latrice
Well, I would sit down with mommy and tell her how much you love and appreciate her suggestions for your wedding. Try to include one thing that she would like to see at your wedding that will make it special for her too. Other than that, if you are paying....well, mommy is just gonna have to suck it up. In the end, she will be happy either way. I'm sure.
Good advice. I also suggest including her in the wedding planning by giving her tasks to do. That way even if her ideas do not get included, she will feel as if she contributed.
But, I think it depends on what the MOB is trying to do. For example, I had budgeted $2000 for my dress, tiara,shoes, underwear, and veil. Well, my mom just didn't like any of the dresses that I tried on that was in my budget range and she thought that I needed a more elegant dress than the one I was choosing. She really liked a dress that I tried on that was like $2100 ( I admit I loved it too). So Mom decided that I had to get the dress and she said that I can put in my $2000 and that she will pay for everything else. Who was I to argue with her?
jimmysgrl
Posted:
Member since
Re: How do you control an out of control MOB?
I think the other girls had it right. My sister keeps telling me to just nod and say thank you, we'll think about it and do what you want anyway. (unless of course she's paying for a portion of the wedding then she may have a little say but should still not be planning the whole dern thing). Another thing that I've thought about doing is just doing it and telling her about it afterward. Like, I know I am set on a photographer but she wants me to 'shop around' so I'll tell her I shopped (its not lying because I did 'shop' on LIW) and that these were the best ones out of everyone.
sgusti
Posted:
Member since
Re: How do you control an out of control MOB?
Thank you for your suggestions. I have been talking to my mother and she just does not like to listen. My FH and I live in Maryland/Virginia and we are getting married in New York because of her. I love her very much, just wish she would back up a little.
Latrice
Posted:
Member since
Re: How do you control an out of control MOB?
Wow!!! You are having your wedding in NYC because of your Mom? That is more than accomodating her needs. Ok, mom needs to calm down now and appreciate the adjustment you have made for your special day. You could have planned to marry in Maryland/Virgina...what would she have said then?
Bunnymonkey
Posted:
Member since
Re: How do you control an out of control MOB?
You need to have an open conversation with her, face to face with someone there who is an ally - a sibling or cousin or friend who knows both of you very well. Talk to this third party beforehand and ask them to help keep you on track in discussing things with her.
There needs to be a third person there - otherwise she is going to pull her mom moves (my mother has plenty) and in the end she will get what she wants.
Be strong - this is your wedding, regardless of who is paying or who birthed you.
Dooodles
Posted:
Member since
Re: How do you control an out of control MOB?
Posted by Bunnymonkey
You need to have an open conversation with her, face to face with someone there who is an ally - a sibling or cousin or friend who knows both of you very well. Talk to this third party beforehand and ask them to help keep you on track in discussing things with her.
There needs to be a third person there - otherwise she is going to pull her mom moves (my mother has plenty) and in the end she will get what she wants.
Be strong - this is your wedding, regardless of who is paying or who birthed you.
I completely agree. If you do not address the issue quickly, it will continue to worsen.
